#agmthoughts

[queenofthekooks]

do you ever think that youre 100% over someone and then you see a quote that just hits you so hard because its just so true and accruate and then all of a sudden youre taken back to the time when you thought they were the reason the sun shined and the moon rose and how could you ever be completely over someone that used to mean so much? 

[queenofthekooks]

what a rough night.  max and tradd holding onto each other sobbing tonight just broke my heart.  it always amazes me how this island continuously comes together in the face of these tragedies and how we all hold each other together. i cant claim to have known you very well tristen, but i do know the huge impact youve had on the people i call family and also my friends. i hope youre still floating out there by some miracle and we find you soon. youre in all our thoughts and prayers. just come home so this nightmare can end

[queenofthekooks]

a boyfriend who could come over and rub my back and cook me food would be so prime right now. or just a pizza delivery service that could actually find my house 😒

[queenofthekooks]

being a girl sucks bc every month UR FRICKIN INSIDES FALL OUT OF U IN A RLY PAINFUL FASHION. boys are always like how bad can it be get over urself but do u realize that’s literally a frickin organ falling out of your body

[queenofthekooks]

i took a gap year to fulfill my dreams and go out to hawaii to try to make it in the surfing industry. i left hawaii with another torn MCL before i could even compete

now, although i hate the idea of it, i guess i should go to school. not to sound conceited, but im really smart. realistically, i could apply to probably to anywhere i'd actually want to go and get in and get some type of academic scholarship. 

but the the thought of it makes me cringe. giving up? quitting? pursuing something im not passionate about? with people who will probably just annoy me? in a place ill get bored of? 

i dont want to go to school. people go off to college and just party. ive had my share of college parties and frankly im just over it. id rather have a home cooked meal and a beer than go 'rage'. i dont like waking up and not being quite sure what might have transpired last night. i dont like losing control like that.

and another worry i have about going to college is i get bored of places too easily. i cant even imagine staying in one place for 4 years when although im in love with it and would go back in a heartbeat, i got bored in hawaii after 4 months. yeah, you can study abroad. but thats only one semester. yeah, you have summers off and could travel then. but thats such a short amount of time, and if i go to college ill be broke af so thats just unrealistic.

i could do online courses, but frankly those would be too easy and boring. i need to be challenged and interested. i need to find something im passionate about and want to learn about and have a career in. 

[queenofthekooks]

whenever i end up at home, i feel like im falling back in time back to bad times and failing and i just hate being here. i need to get out and not ever come back. i keep getitng so close... leaving... then falling apart. literally. as in physically. and then ending up right back where i started and having to rebuild everything before trying to get out once again...

[queenofthekooks]

wow im a gr8 person :-)))

[queenofthekooks]

idc what your religious standpoint is until you try to shove it in my face then i hate you