The Story of how I ended up here : Story of Alice
( This is solo is extremely mature content and discusses sensitive subjects such as rape, murder, incest, substance abuse and uses bad language. You’ve been warned. )
Wow…I did really let go in the last one, didn’t I? I wrote so much shit about Julia that reading it back this morning made me sick. Sweet loving Julia, cared for and looked after…Sweet cunning fucking whore. Why does SHE get to have all the attention? I HATE how she ALWAYS ends up in the spot light. Kind of like an annoying version of Monroe…I mean there’s just a limit you shouldn’t pass.
So I made a promise to myself…I won’t let her win. I will talk and write about myself instead of wasting a breath on that pathetic little worthless piece of shit.
Anyways…
I read back what I wrote on the paper last night and this morning and on both occasions I found myself in lust and longing. Oh just what I would give to watch one of my videos right now…
Given…I did start making those with Jackson because I found the sound of his choking on his own blood amusing but I hear that taking a trophy…A souvenir of some sort, is what all serial killers do to relive the past. Well…I didn’t know this when I filmed Sarah, Alice, Jackson or any of them to be quite honest but I guess this is my own way dealing with it.
I mean…why go through all that trouble when no one truly gives you an award for it? No recognition, no love, no impressed applause…It’s all very depressing.
You know what else is depressing? This fucking place…The old ones are the worst. I try to stay away from them. They shit their own pants…Well I guess diapers. If I ever get like that? Put a bullet through my head.
I’m hoping it won’t be that way. I’m hoping to make a grand exit like the great minds I admire. Bonnie and Clyde would be a cheap example. They walked to their deaths… oh well…More like drove into it and waited to be slaughtered in cold blood but they were armatures on the extreme, killing at random and on a spree.
Murder like that doesn’t last long. I want to make a legacy…
See I’m not saying I was always like this or even that I woke up one day going ‘ Oh yes I wanna be a serial killer’ that shit’s just fucked up and stupid. More stupid than fucked up.
You don’t wake up broken and aching just outta the blue.
Everything happens for a reason and without a cause no action can take place. That’s just simple physics, friend.
I think little events like my whoring mother was what shaped it but this is not a story of how I became who I am today, this is a story of how the hell in the world I ended up / here. /
So…Writing is not the only thing romantic I do, right? I also draw. I started when they forced us into doing shades and in general black and white pictures in middle school and it wasn’t long after that when I started drawing pictures people called ‘Disturbing’
Of course no one knew I was drawing till one day a little mouse stole a few to masturbate to and forgot to hide them well enough and my sicko mom found it and made me go through all kinds of fucked up therapy sessions for the longest fucking time and don’t you even dare get me started on therapy…
I fucking hate therapy and more than I hate the nonsense they force into your brain, trying to convince you that you’re fucked up for a reason , (mostly because you got molested as a child) , I hate the therapists. But at least they are better than psychologists…Those are the real fun ones. They try to get into your head and play with you, always thinking smugly that they know you better than you do yourself.
That just is wrong on so many levels in my opinion. You can’t know what I am if I don’t…But hey…That’s just me and that is another story for another time.
I want to tell you the story of Alice today.
Alice….With the blonde hair and the blue eyes, Alice so kind. Strong cheek bones and a complimenting height.
She was always there I suppose…sitting two rows in front of me with her head bowed down over her desk, reading some book. I was never the one to take the front row seats in a class. I’ve always been the kind to stay away from all of that but also always failed to go below radar.
I first came to know Alice when she leaned down over my shoulder whilst I was drawing Julia, her hands tied to a radiator, a meaningless fantasy of me which Alice found disturbingly amusing. She bent herself over and picked her favorite one going “Oh you’re very talented!”
It was the first time anyone had ever said that to me. Acknowledged me…Seen me.
I guess I should’ve known then that girls like Alice don’t just recognize the beauty in others unless it benefits them. Back then…When was it, second year of high school? Maybe it was first, I don’t really remember, back then I was naïve and stupid.
I always had a way with girls, they genuinely like me and something about my ‘confident smirk’, as my mother puts it, attracts them hence getting laid was never an issue for me. I could have anything from freshmen virgin to a MILF if I wanted to…I just could never have that one interesting kitten that made my heart pound and I know there is such a fatal attraction that you could die just watching them...I know there is.
Anyhow….I slowly took back what she had taken and readjusted them into my folder. “It’s not meant to be on display.”
“Well why not?” She asked eagerly and that made me cringe. I’m not a fan of girls who talk too much or ask too many questions. I mean…Lay on your back and get it over with. The world doesn’t revolve around you it revolves around ME! It’s MY life. Ugh.
“It’s pornographic.” I teased and threw my backpack over my shoulder.
“What are you...Raised catholic or something?” Alice laughed and her laughter caused two cute dimples to show. I guess that’s when I thought to myself ‘Oh yes…I could watch her face go up and down on my dick.’
“Atheist family. We don’t believe in God.” I told her but that was a lie. Lying has always come easy for me. Especially lying to girls. Girls are genuinely more stupid. Somehow I’ve come to understand that if you smile at them even though they know you’re lying somehow that makes it okay. Strange huh? They think they are the superior race but keeping quiet no matter how much I think it’s the right thing, doesn’t make you smarter…Just makes others think they can boss you around.
I know Julia got into some trouble for what I told Alice that day as her father was a very respected man, hardly present? Yes but…Well known and respected. But what does that even mean? God…? Grow up…There’s no heaven, no hell…No God…No order. Don’t be stupid.
God is like…Money or Santa. Only present in a human’s dreams.
To cut to the chase, Alice liked my drawings and wanted me to even draw her in one of the poses she came up with. With a blind fold and a gag, her head slightly lowered and she asked me to draw tears on her face with blue. I don’t use colors in my drawings but I did it anyhow after she stripped down and got herself in the position she wanted.
It was rousingly beautiful to put the blindfold on her eyes and place the gag between her parted lips and soon? Her drool had moisten the gag and dripped down to her chin, something I did well to capture.
I took my time with it, drawing her over and over again. Perfecting my craft…I hate imperfections and maybe….Maybe just a / little / bit I wanted her to wait. For which she did…For hours.
She bitched and whined about it till I told her to shut up and she did.
After I was done I removed the blindfold and let her see the drawings and she was impressed I had done such an amazing job but she couldn’t wait to get outta that position as she squirmed and all of her bitching went unnoticed.
I licked her lips and pulled out the gag. It was the first time I kissed her and although she did little to move me, the nakedness and the station she had with her legs and hands all tied to a darkening bruise on all four places and a wet mouth and begging eyes, was enough to get me going.
I fucked her face with my fist pulling her head back till I came and it took me about five more sessions of tying her up and two teachers noticing she had bruises on her wrists and was spending too much time in the bathroom to realize that I didn’t want her to keep telling me to climb up the fire escape and pretend to force her into having sex with me but that I actually liked forcing her. I liked the idea of it…More than I liked slashing Jackson’s throat.
So this one time when she was tied to my parents’ bed and was getting on my every last nerve about how I should kiss her or do this and that, I turned her over and fucked her from behind with my hands on her throat trying to silence her annoying fucking moans and by the time I was done my fingers had left purple marks all around her milky neck.
I guess I should have stopped when I realized she wasn’t breathing but that was exactly the beginning of it…For me at least.
That’s when I knew that I had actually felt the life leave her body and still continued fucking her dancing little frame, it even turned me on more and as wrong as that was…I knew then that there was no stopping this.
I wanted to slash her throat and let her blood fill the bed my mother whores around on so much but I knew from experience that a dead body doesn’t squirt out the blood the way a live one would and I’m not one to get caught.
And so the story of the smart Mason Myers began.
I was so smooth about the disposal that still am proud but-
Someone’s coming.