Hey, have you ever been tested for celiac disease? Because your ibs symptoms sound a lot like how i was feeling pre-diagnosis. (Feel free to ignore this - I don't want to be pushy on medical stuff and you know your body and what your doctor has told you!)
Thanks for asking! I don't mind talking about it.
Once I finally found a doctor who listened to me rather than just assuming it was because I was overweight and "ate the wrong things," I had a big battery of tests and even did that FODMAP food allergy eating plan. It was hell, let me tell you, hell to give up that huge list of foods and slowly add them back to my diet. While I have no food allergies, turns out avocado sets off IBS episodes, so I did gain that insight.
Mostly, doctors have given me diets that get increasingly restrictive. I cut candy, cookies, and cakes -- no change. Next, it's always carbs -- potato chips and fries first, then white bread, then rice and anything white at all. When that didn't help, it was anything fried ... or cooked with oil ... just roast it all. Eat salads ... oh the lettuce sets it off? Then eat vegetables ... oh corn is out and broccoli makes IBS worse? Try only protein ... but not processed meats. Chicken. Poached or broiled. With no seasoning. And carrots. What about raw carrots for every meal? At a point, I just give up and eat potatoes again.
So far (and I'm a fandom grandma, so it's been YEARS), the best thing I've done is give up artificial sweeteners. My IBS has been cut down by two-thirds which, IMHO, is a godsend of a result.
My goal is to find a way to mediate between the two wolves so both can be happy. How to occasionally have a cupcake without going full moon eating frenzy. How to realize when my body wolf is satisfied and ignore the eating disorder wolf's "but I need it." So much of it is mixed up with my own body dysmorphia and that needs untangled.
Maybe one day I'll truly believe what my therapist used to say -- that the two wolves are both me, trying to deal with years of fucked up eating and dieting and fat shaming.
Cross your fingers for me!