#ahthb

[ahotryingherbest]

Gimme licka beer so I can wine up my waist

[ahotryingherbest]

Art hoe photos. a segment.

[ahotryingherbest]

A look from saturday ❄

[ahotryingherbest]

9-20-17 1:50am

On some emo shit. If I every kill myself its because mentally I cannot handle having friends. I love my friends to death but sometime I feel like I need to take a hiatus from everyone and just be alone. And not only is my school small af and I see at least 3 of my friends twice a day in class but I also talk to them on a daily. And I feel like even if I cut them off they wont go down that easily but at the same time I have to bad of anxiety to cut them off or tell them I need a break. But really its not even them its people in general, yeah no friends but what about the literal human being i live in the same room with, Then other people. I feel like the only way to take this break and get awat from society, especially in this state that I am that is living on a school campus is to die. That’s the only way to find the lonesome peace I crave, but also if I kill myself my mom and brother and family and friends would be so sad. Which is conflicting cuz the reason I feel like I want to be alone and go away is to do everyone a favor because I feel like people are sick of me. In conclusion I’m having a 2008 (I was in 6th grade a decade ago wtf) to 2012 moment where I just felt annoying and wanted to die. Im tired yo. I need my own space

[ahotryingherbest]

its such a pressure to be profound and deep. As loung as you aren’t spouting hate and ignorance what you have to say is valid.

[ahotryingherbest]

So I did the inevitable and lurked on my last lover’s Facebook. Only to confirm everything I already knew. He HAD in fact been in a relationship with his girlfriend for almost a year. Depsite him lying several times to get in my panties. And they were in fact going strong. They just got back from touring Europe for the summer. And I just think back to how I almost ended them and exposed his shitty ways to her. And for a moment I was sad as fuck becasue he is lterally the manefestation of he devil in my life. He doesn’t deserve love and happiness and travel and financial abundancy while I’m here, struggling to move into my home let alone put gas in my car, anxiety and depression out the ass, getting a physical high from a guy who’s emotionally invested in a whole other girl and barely sexually invested in me. But you know what its ok. I don’t regret not putting him on blast. I’m not going to bother them and reach out. I’m going to continue to build myself up. Sand out every flaw, blow the dust off and carve myself into the person I want to be. He didn’t make me or break me. And even though I’ve taken hits from alot of people, I know that the only person that should be incharge of your happiness is you , so who am I to step in and try to dictate or get in the way of that.

[ahotryingherbest]

Phenomenal woman

[ahotryingherbest]

Trying My Best Not To Be Afraid of Psycho Wipipo

So I haven’t seen my roommate since about 12 and a half hours ago when I confronted her about my toothbrush smelling like potting soil via handwritten note. Now I came in and she didn’t say a word to me, didn’t even look up from her phone. And becuase I’m high and paranoid, along with the fact she’s white I feel compelled to sleep with a knife becuase I feel like she has some crazy white people shit where she strngles me in my sleep. (She’s also military so she may have a few tricks up her sleeves.) I haven’t prayed all week but tonight I’m saying a big prayer that I make it to the morning fucking around with this white girl