I'm not sure if I already talked about this here, but I have finished the first FOUR chapters of my novel, currently under the prototype name "AI-One." They've been finished for about a month, and before then, I was on a massive editing spree after I finished their first drafts.
I currently have my dad reading these finished chapters. They span 60 pages double spaced, and the word count is around 18000 words. Once I have a few more people close to me read them, I might ask if anyone here would like to read it as well.
I'm also still figuring out what to rename it, as I don't want it to be associated with AI 😅. And soon I will be back to working, so I might again have less time to write. But such is life. I've also been away from here for quite a while. 🥺
Low-key thinking of changing the title of my novel "AI-One" again because even though it got its name by accident and it sounded cool at the time, I don't want it to be confused or associated with Artificial Intelligence. Even Javi's Bio-Phone (called the AI-One 😭) is more of a glorified smartphone/nurse than an AI engine 😅
Hi, guise! It's been a while, but I think that I can safely say that I'm finally able to relax and enjoy my winter break while tending to my lab duties (which I love)!
Even though this summer, when I met most of you and had my positivity streak, I essentially free-fell very fast... With new responsibilities and hardly any avenue to take the time and process my dark emotions, it would sneak up on me very suddenly. Up until a week ago, actually, I don't think I could go a single day without crying or needing to hide
away somewhere to calm myself down. I was burning out and shutting down. I was disillusioned by the reality that life was going to go on with or without me, and it wasn't going to pause for me to get it all together. Overwhelming as it was, and as little control over my emotions as I had, I had to do damage control and make sure that I was being medicated properly and seeing my therapist as much as possible. I essentially had the worst depressive episode of my life (for those who don't know, I have bipolar disorder).
I also found out the real reason why I've been dealing with a sore throat for almost an entire year now: one of my tics essentially has been screwing up the muscles around that area, and so I will need to undergo some sort of speech therapy to make sure I use these muscles correctly. My hematologist also needs to do a bone marrow biopsy and send me to get images of my liver and spleen so he can rule out certain (scary) reasons for my erythrocytosis. He still doesn't know why over the last four years, it's developed and been getting worse.
But now I'm finally getting answers and everything is in order to hopefully have these results by January. I'm also realizing that things are looking up! 🥹 I realized that when I felt those little moments of wonder or when I was in awe of something, I could latch onto that feeling and ride it out. It reminded me why I love what I do and why I love my life.
I started new meds recently to hopefully help with the depression and improve my mood. It hasn't even been a week since I started them, but I've been cycling up for a couple weeks now. Not so depressed, but also not manic. Simply near a plateau.
This winter break, even though I'm going to be mostly staying off of social media, Tumblr may be the exception. :) See, I had this idea that if I wasn't active on here, then I was a flake or I was letting people down or didn't care about them. And I know that isn't true, but I also know that the friends I've made here are so very understanding and caring. I'm not used to people being supportive without any conditions or strings attached, even though I haven't known people whose friendship or support was conditional for a few years now. I'm learning that I can be easier on myself and I'm learning to accept love, kindness, and generosity without feeling guilty.
I've been writing here and there too, and hopefully during my free time this Winter break, aside from completing the Indigo Disk DLC for Pokemon Scarlet and Violet, I can catch up with everyone and write some more. This winter, I'm mainly focusing on The Nico Chronicles, but I also want to work on AI-One as well. I know some people are dying to see snippets of it.
With that being said, I'll be using my computer so much more for writing instead of just school stuff! Which means I'll spend some time on here every now and then and also play Pokemon Showdown xD
