Sephiroth's realisation in the Nibelheim Reactor
RP/description of emotions that I wrote a while ago. This is a part of a roleplay that was never finished. This is how I write my stories without editing, so it is jagged here and there and it might not make much sense.
...but oh well. It's too much to edit and I want to refer to this in a next post.
UNFINISHED + don't like it + will most likely never be finished. _________________________________________________
"You said ‘average’ member. What about you?" Zack asked. Sephiroth stared at him. For a whole terrible moment he understood what Zack meant, then he discarded it as emotions set in. Shock came first. Everything hurt. It ran as an electric current through his body. It chilled him to the core. It was on fire. But it was too much and he threw it aside. He started from square one: Average members are mako infused. I am above average. All those years at the lab, I have been infused by mako. The shinra scientist Hojo is the one who created them. Did he create me, too? He wavered. What am I? Am I a monster, too? "Hey, Sephiroth." Zack's voice sounded far-off. Sephiorth took another step. He dragged hisself on. All those tests, all those researches. Was I different from the others? I was in Cell 1, the ones in the other cells constantly changed. Was this why I was put in a same coridor as all thos monsters? He took another step. Zack touched his shoulder, his arm. He’s restraining me! Sephiroth’s hand lunged out and he raised himself up, slamming Zack back with a force less powerful than he had wanted. Zack stumbled, jumped off the platform and vanished. Sephiroth dragged himself on. He didn’t want to be here. He wanted out, distance, freedom. Father’s genetic complation was different from mine. I don’t even look like father. I tried to research my DNA but it diesn’t work it didn’t have matches. I thought my mother’s genes were dominant but what if Mako changed me so much I’m not human any more? I’m stronger than anyone else. I learn faster. I see more. I have in-human capabilities. What am I? His mind screamed. What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? He couldn’t stop. He had one answer. But asking the question again and again, gave him time to explore the other options. There were no other options. There was only one hypothesis possible at this point. “Could it be…” He looked at his hands. “That I…?” The image of the monster in its mako pod flashed in his mind. He knew those mako pods. He knew what they looked like from the inside. “…was created the same way?” he asked himself. He straightend his back. “Am I the same as these monsters?” He looked up, stood still. Then he froze in place, his chin almost on his collarbones. He stared down. When his feet hit the metal plated floor there were hollow ticks. It was the same metal as in the labs, to keep mako energy from sipping away should it be spilled. “I knew, ever since I was a child…I was not like the others.” The other children played. They cried. They screamed. They were whimsical. They were emotionally unstable and random. He was constant and quiet. They didn’t get attention from the Development Department. He did. The other children were so… different. “I knew mine was a special existence.” He pressed the unlock, of the mako pod. Mako steam escaped. He slid out one of the … monsters? Was it his right to call them monsters now? The locked up monster was blue from the top, its legs were yellow. It seemed asleep. It was the same position he slept in. He looked at his hands. “Am I… a human being?” Everything disappeared for a moment. Monsters are preserved in here. If, like in ShinRa, the dangerous ones are on the highest floor, then on top of the highest floor is… the strongest monster. The letters above the highest door explained enough. J-E-N-O-V-A. Jenova is… a monster. He took a step back. His breath stopped. The shock of that thought made his eyes grew wide. Then he grew cold. His walls raised up. He was on his guard. His eyes narrowed. I am a monster. He looked at his hands and they sagged. I… I am the greatest monster ever created. His eyes narrowed. But why?