Pickups of a Circadian Rhythm
Fandom: Haikyuu!! Pairing: Akaashi Keiji/ Kageyama Tobio Summary:Never in his whole life did Akaashi believe he would succumb to his heart for another human being other than his family; but it happened and his name was Kageyama Tobio. Note: Used @akakageweek Prompts: Day 1: Friends to Lovers + Day 2: Fighting/Conflict + Day 4: Fire/Heat + Day 5: Far Away/Distance And Used Day Three from @kageyama-rarepairweek. Romantic, Platonic
Or Read in Ao3.
One of the earliest traits that Akaashi learned about the younger setter was how frank the kid could be; it didn’t matter about the subject or time of day.
He just spilled everything not catching how red one’s cheeks could get, either due to anger or embarrassment. It simply looked like it didn't matter, just as long as Kageyama got his answers. At first, Akaashi was surprised but, not by that much after being in the same team with Bokuto, he would look for Sugawara and silently seek out how to respond. Sugawara would be in close proximity and would apologetically side glance him as he helped his fellow teammate.It was like that in the beginning, Akaashi would watch out for his own troublesome teammates and collectively seek comfort from people like Yaku and now Sugawara from these get to-getters they managed to produce between school and social lives. Even after they both graduated and people like Ennoshita and Yamaguchi started to gain the same roles from their previous teammates and it funnily enough it started to give them all excuses to mingle with him with their mutual pains of being the “mature” ones out of the bunch.
It was like a cycle of people and their team dynamics having to have people fill in roles while remixing a few bonds here and there. A few people got the memo and evolved, others stayed practically the same that it could either go as funny or admirable for staying consistent. Which prompted for Akaashi to mentally calculated his sanity as his third year went along. At times he laughed at how refreshing he missed his second year with all his third years still playing in the gym; it seemed like his final year would only see such rambunctious screeches from his flashbacks. Back then, he wondered if he would be surrounded by loudmouth goofballs forever (not that he minded too much). So it was probably amusing to some extend to see that Kageyama didn’t change much too between last year and the start of his third year.
He was still a lanky prodigy that asked a lot of direct questions about anything and everything. It was sort of entertaining how his new “mother” teammates would usher him and try answer carefully like how Sugawara used to. If he gave his two cents he could still remember how Kageyama would give him his whole attention and leave him to stare back at his piercing blue eyes. Not only would he get a view of his irises but how Kageyama would subconsciously lean closer to almost bump shoulders or lean his face closer. There was definitely a feeling of being closely analyzed when he talked to him; like how earnest Kageyama could get when he wanted to learn tips from him. It was enduring to say the least when they both trained together. He was to Akaashi, still a young kid that barely went outside his home for anything other than volleyball. He lived and breathed it that sometimes it made Akaashi wonder how Kageyama could devote so much time to just a sport; but at the end of the day Akaashi accepted it and left it as that. The few times that didn’t require a volleyball or a sweaty gym Akaashi found Kageyama adorable. The way he shuffled around close to Hinata or Yamaguchi; his hands would stay inside his pockets as his eyes would roam and scan the area. He would watch and make side comments when Hinata pushed into his conversations with Kenma. While with Yamaguchi he would guide Kageyama around while successfully making him smile. Akaashi would walk around Kageyama but, never bump shoulders, he would answer if Kageyama acknowledged him. It was a sort of weird acquaintanceship that he developed with the boy. Besides both being setters and enjoying volleyball there wasn’t much to talk about.
He gave him tips time to time, he encouraged him when he saw Kageyama frustrated about something but, other than that he knew Kageyama wasn’t much of a reader or listened to his type of music to recommend offhandedly or randomly. There was this distance between the two that Akaashi didn’t cross or mention. He just talked to him when they were physically next each other, gave him tips when he felt a set of eyes watching him from behind or during training camps. He sat next to him during these weird meet-ups if there was a spot available. He even helped him with homework when Kageyama shyly (but more awkwardly) asked for his email. The texts were short; neither of the used emojis or gifs to express themselves when they conversed.
It was like Kageyama was one of those kids that Akaashi’s parents or teachers asked him to look out for and help as if they were still in elementary school. It was hard to equate all his feelings about Kageyama because it felt like there was barely anything close at best to describe him perfectly. He was kind (because Akaashi wouldn't have this need…stand...insisting feeling that didn't mind hanging out with Kageyama), awkward, a goof that made him smile and chuckle, but he was also a prodigy for a reason. It didn’t take long for Kageyama to spread like wildfire and grace his face to magazines. His scowl was still a little scary but for some reason to Akaashi it became cute. It was like as Akaashi was into his third year of high school and Kageyama’s being in his second, something happened. He grew more familiar to him like the way he knew to handle Konoha and Bokuto when they went on an owl pun battle and made him listen and be a judge at three am in the morning. He didn’t know how or when it happened; just that if Konoha was the one to explain it for him it would go into the lines such as: A raging fire was suddenly spiraling out of control in the pit of his stomach and lungs.
It was kind of weird to think about it like that but, if he was being honest...it was kind of like that. All that irrational goosebumps and being over critical with everything that involved Kageyama. It wasn't a pleasant transition to say the least, it just got more awkward inside his head. Which didn't help by the way the heat was almost (praise on the almost being surprisingly consistent and so far) intolerable the way it lightly burned his figure and how small sweat developed into his palms when his phone buzzed and he saw on the screen telling him Kageyama messaged him. As it got more prominent and hard to ignore Akaashi didn't know what to do. After all, he wasn't the type to just sprang out a confession out of nowhere like Bokuto dared. That wasn't his style nor comfort. So he it kept it bottled up and continued this slow agonizing descent of trying to rid of his blossoming crush. Yet, as Akaashi tried his best his own heart was a fickle thing the way it sprang and ached as the days turned into weeks. He knew he couldn’t live comfortable the way Kageyama continued to seek him out. The texts and emails were still short but, Akaashi knew. Something was amiss, and it pained him to know this thin line that he never dared to cross was wearing down.
He forgot how to breathe when Hinata confronted him one random day. His eyes were sharp; his fingers were laced with Kenma’s when he spoke causally. “Why don’t you already tell him you like him?”
Akaashi forced his body to relax, but his shoulders still had remnants of being stiff. He didn’t know what his eyes looked like, but he knew that his voice carried some weakness for Kenma to silently and softly nod at Hinata’s words. He didn’t push nor did Hinata when Akaashi didn’t respond for a beat. They continued walking down a calm park getting closer to the exit and cross the street to eat at some café. He bit the inside of his cheek and carefully straighten his shoulders and tilted his head upward getting a good view of a cloudless sky. The wind bit his skin but he didn’t shiver from the weather instead, he quivered from his own heart as he spoke his troubles out loud.
“I would rather not pursue something that would wound me.”
Their walking slowed significantly as Akaashi shuffled his wallet and Hinata humming before he commented back. “But isn’t it already hurting you for not knowing?” Akaashi couldn’t bring himself to look at him as Hinata continued. “Don’t you think a year of pining over him is enough?”
Akaashi’s frown deepened but before he could respond back, Kenma chimed in as they crossed the exit. “Just as Shouyou said, why torture yourself prematurely when you could be smiling by now?”
Two days passed far too slowly for Akaashi that he wondered when would his mind would cooperate with his heart once again in harmony. When waking up and going to school was fine, and having volleyball in high school was enough passion to live off peacefully. It felt like that those two years that passed by aged him greatly the way his heart weighed him down. It fluttered, and fluttered too often as if it was replaced by a hummingbird when he spoke to Kageyama. He couldn’t make himself stop from flushing when flashes of Kageyama’s rare smiles woke him up early in the mornings or when he started to drift from classes. It was getting ridiculous how his feelings grew more and without interruption. The ease and panic of witnessing Kageyama’s laughter was hurled too fast that the addiction was almost too much. Akaashi didn’t know how long he could last for knowing that this friendship he maintained with Kageyama was not the only thing he wanted. He wanted to watch Kageyama relax to his touch, hold him close enough to feel his heartbeat flutter like his own; Akaashi wanted to color Kageyama’s cheeks with red dust of adoration and excitement. The list kept getting longer and it scared him heavily the way such innocent thoughts got mucked with adolescent lust.
He wanted to hear Kageyama tell him that he wanted him just as much he loved volleyball or more some.
He wanted to be selfish and be the only for Kageyama to need; he wanted to be the person Kageyama counted on, to kiss him whenever he wanted, to please him and pamper. It was getting out of hand how such thoughts over flowed his mind as he stared at his ceiling. The window was open letting cold air soak in and make him dive under his blankets. The night was far too young, what didn’t help was how his own eyes refused to close. His mind was to alert to be consumed into nothingness. Instead he curled into a ball and strained his ears and listen to the passing cars. By the time it was school his head hurt, he still got up and walked in a daze. He took notes, he ate lunch but in the back of his mind he heard that buzz grow louder as he went through practice. He was only thankful that he was able to keep up with his teammates and walk home before passing out. He woke up in the middle of the night not surprised in the least to find his heart thumping loudly against his lungs. Akaashi didn’t move a muscle as he settled on keeping his eyes closed pretending his heart was not battling with his mind for control. He didn’t bother acknowledge the way his mind (who was far too weak to keep on fighting) slumber and succumbed to mindless fantasies. All he did was bite his lip as he exhaled while picturing his heart get torn by reality.
His heart would finally see tomorrow why his mind fought so hard to keep his mouth shut when he looked at Kageyama.
akakageweek
