dear oichan, i know this is probably not the type of question you get but, i could really use some advice... what are you supposed to do when you have trouble making friends cuz you're really introverted and you think you've made a friend but it turns out all they wanted was to play around with you and the moment you reject their advances they want nothing to do with you..? was i too naive? is making friends impossible? what should i do? this really hurts.. From, friendless anon
I think that what you’re dealing with is incredibly personal.
I’m a social person and while I know plenty of introverted people, I also know that what advice I’d give to you would be…unhelpful? I suppose I could say, “Just be yourself! Summon the courage to start a conversation!” but it’s not that easy. It’s almost never that easy, so I know that it’d be unfair of me to give you the… how do I put this. It’d be unfair of me to tell you how I handle meeting new people and to expect you to simply do the same. We’re all different, so it’d make sense to handle things according to our differences, right? I hope that makes sense.
-Let me hit up this next point before I continue, if you don’t mind.
In regards to your friend. If you feel taken advantage of, then it might be best to ditch them. If they make you feel uncomfortable or if they expect something of you that you can not or do not want to provide, then you shouldn’t hold onto that relationship. I don’t think it’s a good idea to hold onto a person who negatively affects you, even if they might be your only friend. I do understand that it hurts to lose that. I understand that by reading this, you might be even more hurt. It’s fine to feel naive or disappointed. Your feelings are completely valid.
I know plenty of people who are kind and accommodating. It’s extreme to think that based on this unfortunate relationship of yours, that friendship is impossible. It’s entirely possible. Sometimes you might have to step outside of your comfort zone to meet a decent person- which can totally suck, I get that- but it can be done.
I think that just by sending me this message, you’ve managed to do something incredibly brave and I’m very proud of you. And as I said before, I’m afraid that the advice I’d give you wouldn’t at all benefit you the way I’d like it to. I can try and ask a few of my buds how they have handled meeting new people and relay that information back to you in a separate post. If you’d like me to tell you how I personally have managed to meet new people, I can do that as well. Whatever you’d like, you know, I’m here to help.
–Rats, I’m sorry that this reply became so long. It’s probably very unorganized too, aaah, my bad…