#akocomyk

[akocomyk]

End.

It is done.

I have left the system.

It was difficult, but I have no regrets.

I am more than happy now.

Till we meet again.

CLICK HERE to read the entire series “Letters to the Cosmos”.

[akocomyk]

The Greatness that is 2018

Okay.  So my post from last year was restricted by Tumblr because of its new rules regarding adult content and such.  It wasn’t deleted, it was simply removed from the public view.  Though I’m quite sure I didn’t put any restricted content there other than a couple of words of profanity—and I actually wanted to appeal to Tumblr—I let it go, and I’m more determined to put a highly positive composition for this year.

And I know it wouldn’t be very difficult for me to do so.

The year 2018 was a very positive year for me.  Like whatever I was experiencing in the previous years, it was totally the opposite for this year.  Generally speaking, I was very happy and content for the year’s entirety.  You can simply tell by the decrease of drama posts I made here on my blog—or honestly, the total decrease of posts I made for this year.  I’ve even started concluding that I no longer need Tumblr as my place to vent out my personal delusions, but I feel so much regret if I would simply leave my account here to the dirt, covered in interweb dust.

Going back to the main purpose of this post… I had a lot of memorable moments in the past year, and they all meant a lot to me that—similar to my 2017 dilemma—no memory stood out (and I didn’t mean that in a bad way).  Last year, nothing stood out because every single memory felt very lame.  This year, ALMOST EVERY SINGLE MEMORY HAD AN IMPACT IN ME.  Every memorable moment stood out, that I think any memory can take the top spot without me having to contradict myself.

Twelve moments in my 2018 were included in my shortlist.  It’s less than my previous years, but that’s okay.  I have enough good moments to include in the ten.  Here’s my 2018 and all its greatness.

10.  The A-List Awards - November 20

While having our team win a prestigious award is memorable enough, that isn’t the reason why this was included in this list.

I was one of those lucky people who got to attend the awarding ceremony, and, to be honest, I didn’t really expect or plan to attend.  Those who would attend were chosen by raffle draw.  I put my name less than thirty minutes before the draw.  I know I’m not lucky in these raffles, that’s why I didn’t bother putting my name in there immediately after it was opened.  I was only encouraged by my other teammates who put their names solely for “representation” purposes—you know, just so that their teams have representatives.  And it didn’t matter if they got picked or not—if they did, then it’s okay; if not, it’s fine, not much of a great loss.

Eventually, my name was drawn. Then I had to buy my own barong.  And I attended the awards night.

Half of those who were meant to be there wasn’t able to arrive on time due to the heavy traffic—which was very unfortunate, by the way, because they arrived at the exact moment we went up the stage.

There are times in life where you get to do things you never really planned to, and everything still goes smoothly even when you just let it be.

9.  Papa Comes Home - February 24 to March 15

Papa doesn’t come home very often recently.  He only does whenever it’s needed, like when my Mom died, or her sister died, or when there’s a wedding.

For this year, my cousin Nikki had her wedding and my father was one of the sponsors, so he came home from China.  For the first time since we moved to our present residence back in 2013, he stayed in our house during the span of his vacation.

Growing up, my father and I didn’t have a sound relationship.  It’s not that we hate each other.  It’s just that I wasn’t as close to him as I was with my mother, and we we weren’t as you expected an ideal father-son relationship to be.  To me, he was more like a hard-assed king who wants his son, the prince, to toughen up and be like him—a stereotypical man who’s a model of machismo.

I’m nothing like that.

In these two weeks that my father was here, I had felt like I regained a parent.  The last time I felt like this was when my mother was still alive—and not sick.  When I came home from work at night, dinner was at the table. Before I left every morning, someone was asking if I’m not going to eat breakfast—which by the way, I don’t—and telling me, “Ingat,” right before I ran out to the door.

8.  Watching American Vandal - August 11-12 and September 28-30

Every year, there’s always this one memory about me watching a movie, a series, or reading a book that left me on a hangover for days.  They may not have always penetrated the Top 10, but there’s always a memory that’s shortlisted.

American Vandal takes that spot for 2018, and it enters the Top 10, thanks to the fewer shortlisted memories.

If you’ve been closely following my Tumblr posts this year, you’d know why American Vandal was very memorable for me.  You already know I haven’t posted much this year, but I couldn’t help myself from posting a review about the series—for both Seasons 1 and 2.  Those two posts are also probably one of my few blog posts in the past year that actually made sense.

Anyway, the series spoke to me more than any other show that I watched this year did.  Black Mirror was pretty close, but American Vandal is in league of its own when it comes to personal preference.  The way it streamlined themes that are so relevant nowadays affected me so much—not because it was new to me—but because we share the exact same sentiments.

If you’re reading this blog post, go subscribe to Netflix right now and watch it.

7.  Queen Comes Home - April 5 and 7

If you don’t know who Queen is, she is one of my closest friends. We’ve known each other since High School—we both joined the choir and the short theater we had for the school’s founding anniversary.  Then she briefly went to the same college I did and became a member of the student council.  That’s the time when we grew closer, before she moved to Canada.

She came home for a few weeks, and we met twice.

What I like most about the time that we spent together is that we get to talk for hours without getting uncomfortable or awkward with each other.  During that time, I didn’t care much about what we did or what we talked about.  What mattered the most was that we got to spend some time together.

It’s nice to have a friend who—no matter how far you are from each other right now, in terms of location and communication—will treat you the same way they’ve treated you ever since.  And I’m grateful to have Queen as that kind of friend.

6.  Got Ear Piercings - February 5 and June 3

August 2016 was the first time that I ever thought of having my ears pierced (this was according to my post here in my blog, but I probably had thought of it earlier).  A couple of years before that, I’m one of those people who think lowly—appearance-wise—of guys who have piercings.

This is just a theory, but I think what drove me in doing so is my grief towards my mother’s passing.

Now, I don’t only have one, but two lobe piercings, both on the right ear.  The first one was probably more memorable than the second one.  I even wrote a post about it (click here).  The second one wasn’t as terrifying since I already know what I had to do.

Did it make me happy?  Yeah, I feel like I’m more me now.  (Does that make any sense?)  And I’m actually very proud that I did it on my own.  And if there is any person close to me who thinks it looks very inappropriate, I don’t care much about your opinion on this matter.  Having piercings didn’t harm any of you—it did more harm to me, actually.  It’s best if you’d just accept me for who I am.

5.  My Sister’s Wedding - November 26

Looking back at my sister’s wedding, I realized it’s not the wedding day itself that was memorable—at least for me.  It was the preparations for it.  And I mean that because, I’m good at that stuff—preparing and designing event materials.

I wasn’t stressed during the preparations since I’m practically used to it, thanks to my event planning experience with my previous job.  If there was anything that drove me nuts, it was my sister’s nagging and stressful episodes.  Everything felt so complicated and problematic whenever her thoughts jump right in, and I always wanted to tell her that there’s no room for such drama when you’re planning events such as her wedding.

I am so glad that my friends were there—who also eventually became a one-event choir—to welcome my rants and get a share of my madness.

Anyway, I can say that the event was successful, even though I was absolutely stressed during the wedding day itself—everyone was calling me, seeking my approval, plus I had TONS of roles to play.

One vital thing I realized after this:  I’m more alone now than I’ve ever been in my entire life.  My sister’s gonna have her own family.  My Dad’s having his own life in China.  My mother’s gone.  I’m alone, but I’m okay and I’m happy with what I have now.

4.  TG Life Resurrected - January 6, 10, and 15-18

A humongous part of my college—and high school, actually—life revolved around campus journalism.  It’s that one thing that made college more meaningful, more enjoyable, more exciting, and more stressful—in a good way—for me.  If it hadn’t been for that experience, I probably wouldn’t have had the foundation for all the skills that I am using right now for my profession.

Earlier this year, I was invited to train the now-members of The Gateway Group of Publications for the upcoming press conferences.  And since I didn’t have a regular job during that time, I was also invited to attend the conferences—both Cavitewide and Regionals.

The experience was just a surge of nostalgia.  A part of me wanted to join the contest myself, but my time’s long been over—and I’ve already grown tired of it after nearly more than five years of participation.  It’s now time for me to pass on my knowledge to the next generation of journalists.

I may not have taken home any medal or certificate, but it gives me great pride and joy that the students I trained were able to place in their respective contests.  The inner teacher inside me—who is still waiting for his time to shine—is verily satisfied.

INTERLUDE

I’m a hundred percent sure that all those memories that ranked 10th to 4th deserved all of their places.  I already know from the get-go who’ll get the lower ranks and probably wouldn’t even get in the ten.  Ranks 6th to 4th was a bit of struggle, but this eventual ranking is final.

For the final three…

Before divulging into that, I wanna go back to the past memories that topped since I started doing this kind of blog (just to have a throwback and a glimpse as to what memories usually top my list):

The Day Nanay Pinat Died (2013), My College Graduation (2014), The Great Depression of 2015, Mama’s Death at the start of 2016, and My Unemployed Days (2017).

I’ve already mentioned earlier that I had a huge problem regarding what memory would top the list.  This is my blog.  There are no rules in it.  I can just say that all three memories are tied on the first three places, but I don’t wanna do that since this list would not make any sense.

So… I’m not entirely sure about this rankings that I did for these three most memorable moments, since I relied totally from gut feeling here.  I tried to switch them all a couple of times, but in the end, everything went down to sentimentality.

3.  Accenture - February 23

This one’s an obvious frontrunner from the beginning.  After months of having no regular job, I finally got in to one of the most internationally renowned companies.

Tons of memorable moments happened when this chapter of my life started, and I wouldn’t want this list to be crowded with memories from Accenture.  (The A List Awards is the only exception I reconsidered.)

Working for Accenture is one of the most liberating moments that I’ve had in recent memory.

By liberating, I mean, in our team, people truly respect you for who you are.  They don’t mind your weirdness or your quirky personalities.  In here, I found people who I share the same interests with, and if I talk to them about it, they don’t get weirded out—sooooo unlike the people from my previous company.

And what I love most about this is that… I feel like the old me has returned.  Me who was constantly smiling.  Me who seemed like he doesn’t have any problem.  Me who could be in the borderline of crazy.

The me who believes that I can conquer the world in my own little ways.

2.  24th Birthday - January 27

“To know that someone appreciates my existence, someone is willing to spend their time with me, and someone is ready to get high with me is worth more than any money can ever get.”

I got that from the blog I made about my birthday.

I stand firm with what I said back then.  This is one of the most memorable birthdays I’ve ever had in the recent years—maybe even in my entire life.  Throughout the year, I was thinking that this moment might top this year’s list.  And I was secretly hoping that something good would still happen in my life since I couldn’t accept yet that this would be the one.  Thank God, things still happened.

This is the second time that my birthday celebration was included in the list, and this is its highest placement so far.  I still wish that someday, my birthday celebration would be the one on the first place.  This one was really close—it’s on the second place and it certainly lost by a minimal margin—but I had to hand it over to the other one that’s more… sentimental… and left my heart in emotional shards right after.

1.  A Day with Wilma - December 23

Amongst my friends who know that I love watching films, this is the first time that someone actually asked me to watch a movie with them.  You know… just me with him or her.

Ever since 2015, I’ve been glorifying the thought of me doing things on my own, and the belief that I can be happy on my own.  Having said that, I also have never set aside the fact that I’d be even happier if I do the things that I do with someone else.

For those who don’t know, Wilma’s one of my BFFs and one interesting fact about her is that SHE IS RARELY SPONTANEOUS—close to never, to be frank.  I am the opposite of that.  I adore spontaneity.  So when Wilma asked me to watch Spiderman: Into the Spider-verse with her—out of the blue—I said yes, without any hint of hesitation.  I didn’t even ask if she invited someone else, which I usually do when someone asks me if I wanna go with them.  I didn’t care.

I’m finally gonna watch a movie with a friend… my friend.

Wilma got caught on traffic on her way, so we missed our schedule by roughly 15 minutes.  She didn’t want to go on the next screening since she’s concerned that it might be too late for me, but I told her that it’s okay.  For the meantime, we had coffee—tea for me, actually—and I also helped her shop for Christmas gifts.

After watching the film, Wilma offered to eat dinner at her house, since I didn’t really give any concrete answer as to how I’m gonna feed myself that night.  And so we did.  We went to her house and ate dinner with her family.  Her Mom even wanted me to sleep over since it’s also a bit late already.  I told her that I had to attend the ninth Misa de Gallo the following day, but she insisted, saying, “Magsisimba rin naman kami.”  I wanted to say yes.  Part of me didn’t want to end the day just yet.  This day was feeding me with so much spontaneity, it’s making me euphoric.

But I didn’t have extra clothes with me… so I had to refuse.

On my ride home, I felt really weird, thinking about all the things that happened that day.  I wanted to cry, but I also wanted to laugh at the same time.  I was emotional, but I didn’t know what emotion it was.  I just knew that something inside my heart was not okay, yet I’m perfectly fine with it.

After years of feeling like the world completely neglects me, a day comes when all the love is poured out and I can’t even handle it.

I didn’t even have any picture of this day.  It exists now only inside the memory centers of our brains—Wima and mine’s.

I hope we can do this again sometime.

[akocomyk]

Wanna know more about me?

Here are some interesting tags to guide you with your reading:

#My Life • #My Books • #Thoughts • #Toxic Shit • #712ThingsToWriteAbout • #Omyk Covers

Annual Recaps:

10 Most memorable moments of my year

10 Best books I've read for the year

Other interesting posts

[akocomyk]

It’s Tumblr birthday time!

To celebrate this milestone, you’ll have a chance to be hailed as my blog’s Ultimate Follower!

I’ve created a game that will test your knowledge of my blog. If you’ve been an avid reader here—which I’m totally grateful for, by the way—then this is definitely for you!

Back when I was around 14 or 13 years old, I and my sister—through the influence of her then colleagues—played this game called The Invisible Beard of Contemplation (IBOC).

Technically speaking, IBOC is a very simple game, the kind that runs on flash (you wouldn’t be able to play the game now even if you find it on the internet since Flash just died last year). All you have to do is solve this image-based puzzle and then answer the follow-up question that comes after it. You go through fifty items of that, and you beat the game!

For quite a few years now, I’ve been thinking of a way to improvise a game that is similar to IBOC in spirit. And now, I’ve finally made something like it through Google Forms.

Don’t worry. It’s just nine puzzles, representing nine years. And it’d be great to take part in my blog’s first official game—I mean first if you wouldn’t count Letters to the Cosmos which was, in a certain point of view, a guessing game by nature. All the answers can be found on my blog and on Google anyway—or at the very least, it can lead you there.

Will there be a prize? For the first one who finishes it, sure! That’s if someone does finish it. What will it be? I… don’t really know. I guess it depends on who wins. Regardless, the “Ultimate Follower” title will still be bestowed upon anyone who finishes it.

Okay this is just me imagining that I have many readers. Anyhooo...

Are you ready? Click here to play!

P.S. It’s best to play the game on a laptop/desktop.

[akocomyk]

LTTC 13

To the Stargazer,

Dweller of the fifth planet of the Carcine System, Mantor II

We only wanted to watch the stars, To make a moment that’s truly ours. But all these plans were deeply shattered, For suddenly, your words have faltered.

You only wanted to watch the stars, With me whom you share similar scars. We understood our atrocities; We accepted our realities.

I only wanted to watch the stars; See beauty that sings like ten guitars. A beauty that you have seen in me, Even I, myself, could never see.

We only wanted to watch the stars, But both of us left unopened jars. You said you liked me, but you weren’t sure; I was stupid to not know the cure.

I don’t think we’d ever watch the stars, For our paired hearts are unlit cigars. I’d always answer if you kept asking. I’d have fallen if we kept talking.

Why'd you stop talking?

Love,  The Chronographer

[akocomyk]

LTTC 12

To the Timeless Tinker,

Dweller of Zöereia, first planet of the Oensuli System

You who tinkered me during my worst, Bound me to a life that felt accursed. For my world had revolved around you; I dreamt of dreams that never came true.

You who tinkered my indifference, Even when at times it made no sense. I, to you, am a trustworthy friend, Whose ties grow long but shall never end.

You who tinkered my most weary heart, When its beats were not a work of art. ‘Twas only you whom I made a call, You told me, “Fight your worries and all.”

I loved you deeply, that much is true, But there will never be me and you. This fact I learned to live with all day, Still, I always wish that you will stay.

Love, The Chronographer

[akocomyk]

LTTC 11

To the Rose in Thorns,

Dweller of the biggest moon of Gnaevinir, sixth planet of Carcine

You blossomed at the worst morning, for then my patience was already thinning. But then you crawled from back to the fore, eventually, a day isn't full without your color. Your words, your fragrance, was a struggling glue, it fought to keep my pieces from the blue. Although my odds are quite unknown, your wishes for me kept going on.

A day came when I flew by your moon, a solar storm came too soon. In ways not understood by any, a burst of your thorns shielded you and me. The shield was a bubble so serene, beneath the raging, deathly scene.

In that solace lit by our amity, you handed a petal unto me. Boom. Upon my touch that was so mellow, your tiny petal turned to yellow. Upon the soft, sweet kiss that I blew, your tiny petal flew back to you. Bloom. You started growing petals endlessly, a spiraling eruption moving helplessly. And so, another petal, you gave to me; I returned it as well, yellowed, with glee. For a moment, we went on repeatedly, exchanging petals rather happily. Although the act was queerly crude—I don’t know how—but it felt so good.

In the height of what was happening, in my pocket emerged one thing. A flower so white when I took it out, and, at its sight, you gave a silent shout.

We stopped.

“I like you,” you said in a beat. “A bit arrogant, but still warm and sweet.”

You tried to stop me from leaving, but my heart was already bleeding.

The two of us in pair: I haven’t foreseen; still I wonder what could we have been.

Love,

The Chronographer

[akocomyk]

LTTC 10

To the Flitting Icicle,

Dweller of Teitri, the interstellar comet

When the two of us are mysteries to others, we are long lost notes who harmonize when paired.

I am beyond grateful to have you as a friend.

You are interstellar.

You are interdimensional.

You are exceptional.

But in your life lurks a monster who benefits from your greatness.

Leave him.  Leave him.

But don’t ever leave me.

And I know you won’t.

Even when time and space is lost, I am sure you will be there.

Love,

The Chronographer