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i would not win the long walk. id actually be the first to die. my will to live is as fragile as a fucking butterfly's wing. u best believe the moment my feeties start to ache im sitting the fuck down and accepting, no, embracing my death.

#the long walk #alee.txt

i really need to work tomorrow. we need the money. working is the only way we're able to afford a sense of a somewhat comfortable life.

but im too sick. im going to have to cancel n call off. ive been bedbound for five days now.

#alee.txt #working is how I afford to go to the cinema or #help out my friends if they need it or #get takeout when im too ill or exhausted or sensory overwhelmed to eat anything at home or #am able to payoff the bills that sneak up on us or ----#and I really feel it when i can't work and payday comes around and suddenly all those little things #that make my existence more comfortable #become that much more unobtainable

i don't rlly like when ppl call the things i like shitty or bad . idk . i get it maybe it is??? but also if you know it's something that means a lot to me ... can you maybe not?! it genuinely hurts my feelings

#alee.txt

half a creative writing degree and all i use it for is to write porn

#alee.txt

one of my fave endings in a book ever

the long walk .... my beloved ... steven king who hurt u

#the long walk #the long walk spoilers #spoilers #alee.txt

what if i bought this

#alee.txt #steins;gate

so as someone who survived childhood poverty/homelessness, abuse and familial drug addiction, i have been thinking a lot lately about the place of academic analysis vs the driving forces of empathy/compassion

i think its all well and good analyzing problems thru an academic lens, and it absolutely has a critically important place and gives us something to work from, but also idk i think there comes a point where we actually need to engage with people as people and in my experience that has always done more good than being vehement on the internet. i cant tell u how many times ive seen someone in a very privileged position academically analyze the societal conditions that create homelessness, poverty and drug addiction, and then when confronted with an actual person going through all those things, be incredibly uncomfortable and awkward and unwilling to talk to them bc it forces them to exist alongside ppl who might not be what they consider 'palatable' or, hell, even agree with their politics. (and i will tell u now: a lot of ppl in poverty will not fucking agree with your politics. there is a pervasive distrust of government that runs thick and deep and they will not give a single flying fuck about what you 'academically' have to say, bc they are too busy surviving to care.)

i think if you want to commit to any real change, empathy and compassion are absolutely driving forces alongside the academics in pushing societal change. thats been something talia and i have been ruminating on a lot lately.

#alee.txt

rewatching sg s2 so im just gonna dump all my thoughts here like an insane person :)

#alee.txt

#alee.txt

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