#alex's updates

[alexrogers44]

Rambling : For awhile now, I've been feeling like my fics are missing something.. Like.. Something felt off. And as I was rereading the days I completed for my Advent Calendar.. I realized it is in fact missing something. It isn't just a feeling. For some reason, I don't pay attention to how things feel.. The scents and what not.. And that might be why I am so not motivated to write.. Because of that feeling. The feeling that something is missing and it messes up the whole thing.

Anyway!

Make It Make Sense : It's probably a matter of days.. maybe a week. If I keep my motivation in check. haha!

Kiss, Bite, Repeat : Some of it is written. I'm just trying to figure out if it's a one chapter thing, or if the event will be on 2 or 3.

YBTMEWYD : I keep forgetting I have ideas. If that even make sense. LMAOOO

Advent Calendar : I completed Yushi, Yangyang and Jisung. 19 to go. 🫠

Kinktober : I have the idea. I just need to make it make sense as a whole. 😹😹

Imagines : I didn't touch these in a while. Beside the part 2 for that Hendery one I posted not long ago.

Skip this if you're easy to upset/trigger : mentions of mental illness, struggle, depression

For months now, I've been struggling with depression. I can barely get out of bed. And writing feels like a chore when it shouldn't. **Took me 2 months reading a 400 pages novel.. When it usual takes me 3 days max. Just to give an idea of how unmotivated I am. Today, is one of the rare days I'm out of bed and on my pc. On those days, I try to write as much as possible. But most of the time I only write just a paragraph before I end up doing something else on my second screen.

Multiple times, I thought of giving up on all the stories I have and just forget about it. God.. That thought is seducing af on really bad days. But that's depressed Alex talking, in those moments. I enjoy writing so much. And I know you guys like my stories. Or at least the ideas I use. And that means the world to me. And I always have that feeling that people slowly lose interest because I update so slowly.. Hell, my favorite fanfic hasn't been updated in almost a year, and the second it'll get an update you'll see me over there reading it! But I'm no 7salt7 (if you like bl, check them out on AO3, their Ateez series is to diiiie for!), and I am very well aware of that.

Anyway... All that just to say that I'm not not updating just for the heck of it. And I have that problem where I absolutely need to justify myself even if it's not necessary. 😹😹

As always remember; You are loved and you matter.

**If you like dystopian/apocalyptic stories, I recommend "The Rule Of Three" by Eric Walters. It's freaking good! haha

[alexrogers44]

Oh.. oh no... oh no no no no no... oooh....

I fucked up big time with Kiss, Bite, Repeat... And I don't know how to salvage that at all... I told my friend my idea... and... the first thing she said was "Girl, you're literally describing cheating!"

But I swear.. I just saw it as a messy plot twist with a happy ending...

I don't know what to do... That fic saw the day because of that one specific scene... and I didn't see it for what it was... and now I can't keep going with that, because that's not my character (or so I thought)... but if I don't keep going that way with the fic... I literally lose all the ideas I have for it... What to do.. What to do.. god...

Make It Make Sense : Only missing the sex scene.. Story of my life, these days. 😹😹

The Cat He Chose : On hiatus for now. I second guess everything for this one.. And I'm trying to decide if TCHC is a stand alone and just forget about the 2 other parts or not.. Also, I want it to be more interesting with actual classes and all.

You Belong To Me, Even When You Don't : *big sigh* I do my best, ok? 😒

Advent calendar : Finished Winwin's day a few days ago... Only 22 to go 🫩🫩

Anyway... Stay pretty, little babies. Just remember, you are loved and you matter. And if you mess up, it's also ok.

Trying to convince herself it's ok KBR is hanging by a thread because she fucked up

[alexrogers44]

Haven't done one of those in a while...

It's been a while... I struggle a looooot with writing smut. Which is why I write really slowly. Might or might not be why MIMS's latest chapter was smut free. 😹 ANYWAY! Here's individual updates for everything:

Kiss, Bite, Repeat : I only need to write that Winwin spicy scene. I wrote around it, it's literally the only thing I'm missing.

Make It Make Sense : I have some of it written. But not much. I AM inspired though, so I write in it when I'm in the mood.

The Cat He Chose : I'll be honest.. I didn't even start chapter 5 yet. I don't know why, tbh. Because I have the ideas, the plot and everything... It's just not happening at the moment. But fret not, little babies. I plan on reading some werewolf stories to try and put myself in the mood for it. Crossing my fingies and all.

You Belong To Me, Even When You Don't : It's going well. I'm writing in it as we speak. I have like... Every single spicy scene in mind for the whole thing. I'm just... Digging for some plot. Because as much as I like me some fucking (the only action I get, really)... I need plot or I just can't write it... 🥲

Imagines : I have.... A Jongho, Yunho, Suho, Lee Joon, Haechan and Xiaojun... All halfway done... It is what it is, I guess. 😹

Pick Your Poison, Pick Your Boy : I'll be honest... I didn't write in those in a little while. I keep forgetting about those. But I am going to write that camboy!Ten whether I like it or not. 🙃 (I say that like it's a freaking chore.. but it's not. 😹)

Christmas advent calendar : You saw me post about it by accident.. So I might as well! 😹 I finished Ryo's and started Doyoung, Jaehyun, Winwin, Mark and Jaemin. I'm having a lot of fun writing those, ngl. 😹 I'm just crossing my fingers I'll be done for December. If not, it'll be a partial advent with the ones I was able to finish. (Before you assume anything, not all days has smut. Some are just cutesie dates on xmas and stuff like that. Writing 25 smut focused one shots with xmas as a theme? I wouldn't have survived that 😹)

Kinktober 2026 : Not doing like last year. It'll just be a one shot posted on October 31st. And because the Advent Calendar is NCT- I decided the kinktober one shot will be Ateez. More precisely, my bias line; Yeosang, Yunho, Jongho and Mingi. No promises it'll be heavy smut. But it will be Halloween themed. So there's that.

So that's everything. Hope you enjoyed that very not helpful update.

[alexrogers44]

Uuuhhh… a small update on my writing. Things haven’t been great lately, so I’ve been having a really hard time writing anything at all. But don’t panic! I’m hopeful that my inspiration will come back once I move in mid-April. I know this isn’t really relevant and probably TMI, but I wanted to be transparent about why I haven’t been updating lately.

Your girl will comeback soon. I promise~ ❤️🌸

[alexrogers44]

Updates aren't that essential.. But at the same time it motivates me to keep up with my own shit.

Kiss, Bite, Repeat... The rewrite is going well. But I'm lacking inspiration for chapter 35. So it takes way longer than it should. I'm sowwy.

Make it make sense... I'm having way too much fun writing Seonghwa's body worshipping kink. Simultaneously writing Yunho's scene on the side. Why? Because... I can? And torturing myself is my new favorite hobby, apparently.

The Cat He Chose... Chapter 4 is coming to life slowly. I want it to be slow burn so bad... But your girl is impatient. I often skip cutscenes and dialogues when I'm gaming, just to give you an idea of how impatient I can be. So I need to remind myself that this story isn't about it being quick... But to make you doubt they'll even end up together. Know what I mean? Yeah, me neither. Just bare with me.

You Belong To Me Even When You Don't... The plan ended up changing. So I have erased a part of it to go in another direction. I would ask you to trust me, but I don't even trust myself with it. Soooo... yeaaaaah..

Pick Your Poison, Pick Your Boy series... It's doing fine. Writing here and there when I feel inspired.

Imagines... I write them when I have ideas. I'm currently writing one for Kun and another for Haechan. I write those in a day. So it doesn't take much time to do. Unless I do like Heachan and it rots in my google doc, halfway done but we don't talk about that.