#alexia (underworld)

[i-am-not-like-you-ups]

Marius: wait... did you flirt with me? Alexia: have been for the past few months but thanks for noticing  

[i-am-not-like-you-ups]

Gregor: How was the honeymoon?

Alexia: Well, Marius got drunk and tried to destroy our marriage certificate.

*cut to Marius laughing maniacally*

Marius: Good luck trying to return me without the receipt!

[i-am-not-like-you-ups]

Gregor: How was the honeymoon? Marius: Well, Alexia got drunk and tried to destroy our marriage certificate. *cut to Alexia laughing maniacally* Alexia: Good luck trying to return me without the receipt!

[i-am-not-like-you-ups]

Alexia: *walking into the kitchen* Is something burning? Marius: *leaning seductively against the counter* Just my desire for you. Alexia: Marius, the toaster is on fire!

[i-am-not-like-you-ups]

Gregor: Does anybody know where we can find handcuffs?

Alexia: Well, Marius and I-

Marius: Alexia!

Alexia: -wouldn't know anything about that.

[i-am-not-like-you-ups]

Alexia: Sometimes Marius talks in his sleep, it’s kinda cute.

Marius: *passed out on the couch* Fight me… you motherfucker… square up… I think the fuck not.

[i-am-not-like-you-ups]

Marius: Nice hands

Alexia: Uh, thank you?

Marius: I bet they’d look better wrapped around my-

Gregor: BIBLE! WRAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE! PRAISE THE LORD, AMEN

[i-am-not-like-you-ups]

Gregor: What’s it like dating Marius?

Alexia: One time when he was pissed at me, I asked him for a glass of water. He brought me a glass full of ice and said ‘wait’.