Nov 7, 2019
Hozier at the Columbus show
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Hozier at the Columbus show
If you're in Ibiza on August 17th join M.I.K.E. for a Push past, present & future set onboard the Connect boat! Support from Nick the Kid & resident Alex Ryan. Tickets on sale here: goo.gl/9jAh5M Join the event page here: goo.gl/KDxq6Y #Connectibiza2018 #Push #NicktheKid #AlexRyan
ALEX RYAN - ATLANTIS
ALEX RYAN – ATLANTIS
If you’ve started to feel a change in the weather, more warmth in the air or sun on your face, all we can say is… lucky, lucky you! f not, well hey… join the club! The sun’s been an all too scarce a sight through VANDIT’s window too. Frankly we could use a ray or two to break the cloud, and right on cue, Alex Ryan’s delivered them Hailing from that current hotbed of trance talent, Dubliner Alex…
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Ian & Reid
Damn, what time is it? 4:15am? God, we still have another ten hours on this bus. I wish we could have just spent an extra hundred bucks for a flight instead. The seats would have been more comfortable and the ride would have been incredibly shorter. But instead I was forced into a charter bus with another 50 students for 15 hours. Most of have had fallen asleep more or less; it was uncomfortable and difficult to sleep in the chair (which only recline about 10 degrees). I guess when you get tired enough, you can fall asleep anywhere.
I glanced to the seat next to me, occupied by a big ball of a blanket and jacket covering my friend Nolan underneath, who was probably much more content than I. Being shorter, he was somehow able to curl up his legs, and he got the added privilege of having the window seat, which allowed him to rest his head somewhere. I, unfortunately, was left to slumber in an almost full upright sitting position. And I was definitely feeling it in my neck.
Suddenly a chill ran along my neck and shoulders, causing me to shiver, so I reached down and pulled my own blanket up to my chin. I turned in my seat in an attempt to go back to sleep and perhaps shed another few hours off the trip.
Unable to fall asleep immediately, I gazed around the bus at the other passengers. That’s when I caught sight of a tall shy kid with another guy tucked snugly under his arm, as fast asleep as Nolan next to me.
I didn’t know that guy too well; he and I had only ever seen each other at school, or maybe once at a restaurant or something. He has never said anything to me. I could only assume the boy next to him was his friend or something. I worried if I let my head drift to rest on Nolan while I was sleeping people might make fun of us or something. Call us gay. But that guy didn’t seem too worried. Well, he wasn’t exactly awake to express any emotion, but still. His hand rested on the other’s side, and the latter’s hand on the former’s stomach.
It looked comfortable. At least it looked better than what I was doing.
- - - -
“Did you see them? On the bus?” Roger asked me quietly, leaning in close, as if they could hear us from across the subway station.
“No, when?”
“This morning- oh forget it, you were asleep the whole time,” Roger not-so-covertly turned to stare at a group of friends standing in a tight circle, protecting themselves from the cold, 50 feet away. We were all waiting for the Metro to take us across town to continuing our sight-seeing tour. “You didn’t see anything.”
“What were they doing?” I inquired, wondering what was disturbing him.
“I don’t know, they were like-” Roger leaned his head on his own shoulder, wrapping his arm around an imaginary figure next to him, “holding each other.”
“Holding each other?” I repeated, instantly imagining the tall, shaggy blond guy sitting close by the shorter one with the black winter hunting cap. It turned out to be a rather weird image, as I couldn’t understand how they could do that on the charter bus we were on. I wasn’t even able to stretch out my legs-
“Yes, no, yeah. I don’t know. He had his arm around him, and he slept against him.”
“Wait, which ‘he’ did what?”
“The taller one-”
“I think his name is Ian.”
“Whatever, he had his arm-”
“Or maybe it’s Isaac...”
“The taller one had his arm around the shorter one, while the shorter one-”
“Okay, that’s Reid, I know for sure. He was in my Pre-Calc class last year.”
“Well he was the one-”
“Real smart kid.”
“Nolan.”
“Yeah?”
“I think they’re gay,” Roger hissed to me, sneaking another glance, weary of the possibility they’d strip off each other’s clothes at any moment and make love right there under the big sign that said “Board Here.”
“Oh,” I replied, looking at them as well. I guess they did stand a little too close together. Or, actually, they were all rather close- it was hard to decipher what was going on with so many people walking between us throughout the Metro station.
“Do you know any of the people they’re with?” Roger turned back to me. I squinted intently, hoping my vision would become clearer, but to the opposite effect.
“I can’t really see any of their faces, but,” I racked my brain trying to connect heights and hairstyles to people back at school. “I think the girl next to Reid is Emily.”
“Right. And her boyfriend, Mark.”
“Not officially,” I pointed out, spewing gossip I heard from my twin sister (while she talked on the phone rather loudly).
“Whatever. But, look! Look who’s next to Mark!” Roger pointed out, excitedly. I squinted again to try to see the boy’s face. “It’s Alex, from Mythology last year.”
“So?”
“Dude, he’s totally gay, too.”
“He is?”
“I’ve totally caught him staring at my dick before, dude. Plus, it’s only natural for gay guys to hang out with other gay guys.”
“What about Mark?”
“Well they don’t have to only hang out with gay guys, I guess.”
“And that’s Ryan next to Alex.”
“Okay okay, so they’re not all gay.”
“I’m confused,” I admitted, staring at the group of friends, trying to figure out what Roger was talking about.
“There’s a group of fags and fag-lovers not too far away from us, Nole. How the hell do you think I feel about that?”
“Not too... good?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.
“You’re goddamn right,” Roger hissed, glaring at the group of laughing people across the station, completely ignorant of the tirade that was building inside the guy standing next to me. “They’re gonna ruin this trip for us, Nolan.”
“What?”
“Well when they get caught fucking each other’s ass holes some night, the counselors are gonna cancel the trip!”
“But-”
“But first they’re gonna try to turn us all into flamboyant queers,” he continued staring at Ian, who had his arm around Reid’s shoulder, who in turn hugged Ian’s chest. “Look at that, it’s disgusting. And they’re already going after Mark and Ryan!” Roger exclaimed, as Alex leaned his head on Ryan.
I didn’t really know what to say at this point. I had never thought about gay people before now; they had always seemed like a problem that never occurred in our town. It was a plague that never made it’s way to our doorstep.
“Do you want to be gay, Nole?”
“I don’t think so, no.”
“Then help me stop this before it gets out of hand.”
“Sure, Roger.”
- - - -
Mark crossed his arms in protest, shaking his head. “No, I can’t in good conscience allow the four of you to share a room.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, my voice squeaking just a bit. I lifted my head off the pillow in order to give them a proper glaring stare. He just casually returned my gaze, rolling his eyes, laughing off my attempts to appear offended. Defeated, I turned to my only other option of negotiation. “Please? Pretty please?” I begged.
“Ian, I could get in serious trouble for switching rooms. And for what? So you can spend a night giggling with your boyfriend and two other gays?”
“You know us gays all too well.”
“I pretend not to,” he sighed, sarcatically, relaxing back into the bed. We lay in our hotel room, each occupying one of the two beds in the small room. Suitcases lined the wall, with little gadgets (and their respective chargers), metro passes, wallets, and snacks filled any available space on the furniture. After the long bus ride and a short ride on the subway, we finally arrived in our hotel about ten minutes ago. Unfortunately, I realized Reid and I would not be sharing a room.
I had met Reid only a week ago, at a short informational/preparatory meeting for this trip. He was a Senior, like me, but our paths had never crossed before. Which was not too unusual in a school of 2,400. We sat down next to each other coincidentally, he struck up a conversation about all the trouble he had been through preparing, and we hit it off.
“Well, do you really want to spend a night with three guys giggling and fawning over hot men, talking about our sexual exploits and our dreams and desires, describing the perfect guy-”
“Okay stop!” Mark laughed, covering his ears with his hands.
Reid was the first person I had ever met who was openly gay. I could only imagine the kind of confidence he must have had in order to tell complete strangers- I certainly didn’t have it. Despite having known, for over two years, I hadn’t come out to anyone.
That is, until I told Reid yesterday before we got on the bus.
“This is what you’re going to have to deal with, Mark!” I shouted merrily, joyed by his displeasure. It would make it easier to make him switch rooms with Reid; then we could share a room, or a bed.
“Shut up, Ian!”
“‘Alex, who’s your dream boy?’” I pretended to ask, exhibiting what we would be talking about later.
“Oh Lord...”
“‘He’s fit and tall, with piercing blue eyes, and hair that flows across his head. And his dick is simply incred-’”
“Ian!” Mark shouted, hiding his head under his pillow.
“You just described Ryan,” Alex leaned against the doorway, apparently having walked in during my negotiation. I glanced at the boy, who flashed a wink at me. My face grew a little red.
“That’s because he was pretending to be you talking about your ‘dream boy’,” Mark repeated ‘dream boy’ mockingly. Just then Ryan walked in, sitting down on the bed next to Mark.
“What about me?”
“I think Ian has a little crush on you,” Alex teased, making a kissing-face at me.
“I guess you’d better watch out, then, babe,” Ryan got up off one bed and plopped down next to me, taking hold of my shoulder. “I kinda have a little crush on you,” Ryan winked at me, pecking me on the neck.
“That’s fine,” Alex faked anger, grabbing Mark by his arm and pulling him up off the bed. “I’ll just take Mark out to eat instead of you,”
“No, wait!” Both Ryan and Mark shouted at the same time; which Alex found endlessly amusing. “I’ll go find Reid,” Mark said softly, defeated, as walked out of the room with his head down.
“He’s such a drama queen,” Ryan quipped as Mark closed the door.
“I heard that!” he shouted through the door. Ryan switched beds again, patting the space next to him, calling his boyfriend to sit down.
Sitting awkwardly close to them, I turned to lie down on the bed, glad Mark finally agreed to let Reid room with us. Alex and Ryan were definitely going to share a bed, which meant Reid was going to sleep with me! A smile snuck onto my face without my realization.
“Whatcha thinking about?” Alex inquired, almost as if he were singing. Opening one eye, I peered at the couple sitting just a few feet away, grinning at me wildly.
“He’s thinking about Reid.”
“Most definitely.”
“Look at the smile.”
“Adorable.”
“That’s the smile I see on you right before I wake you up in the morning.”
“Another reason why you should just let me sleep! Sleeping makes me happy!”
“But if I don’t wake you up soon enough, you won’t roll out until noon.”
“And it’s great!”
“Your sleeping patterns are in dire need of assistance.”
“You just need to learn to sleep in.”
“Are we discussing when to set the alarm clock?” a voice sounded in the doorway. My eyes shot open at the lovely sound of Reid’s voice. He caught sight of me, and his face broke out into a wide grin. I returned it tenfold, getting up from the bed, walking over to him, and grabbing some of the stuff from his hands.
“You just wanna spend more time in bed with me.”
“Well of course I do! Why do you think I have that goofy Ian-grin when you decide to wake me up? ‘Cause sleeping with you makes me happy,” Alex finished by putting his hand on Ryan’s, and then they just stared intently at each other.
Reid leaned in close to my ear, “should we leave?”
“Yes,” Ryan answered before I was able to. As I shuffled Reid out of the room, I turned around to shut the door just as Alex leaned in to kiss Ryan. I blushed pretty red.
“They’re cute,” Reid noted as we stood awkwardly in the hotel hallway.
“Hey guys!” Matt (making his first appearance all day) called from down the corridor, joined by Mark and Emily. “Come down to the lobby with us! They’re giving out candy or something!” Reid smiled at me, then took to a run down the hall after our three friends. I was not too far behind him.
Alex & Ryan: Part XIX
[This part is from Ryan's point of view.]
[Also, it's NSFW]
- - - -
God I needed this. I needed my bed, my blanket, my pillow, silence. Blissful silence. I couldn’t stand to be at that party anymore; the noises and sounds and banging and music and talking and- gah! I just wanted silence, and Alex. Sweet Alex and blissful silence.
Except Alex doesn’t want to be with me. He must hate me or something. We had one fantastic night- right here in this bed!- but when we go out in public, he wants nothing to do with me. He’s scared, is all. Right? He’s scared someone will see us and catch us. Like Emily did.
But it’s not like Emily’s gonna do anything. But I still can’t get his reaction out of my head. That look of pure fear and anxiety he had, it worried me. I mean, sure, I didn’t want everyone to know, but how bad of a deal could it be? So we’re gay. What’s the issue?
I spy..... #lessthanzero #satan #baphomet #alexryan #kitty #syringe #hellokitty #loveisover #hell #money #lollipop #tabasco #jonbenet #zero #bat #neon #spider #cute #kawaii #mylife (Taken with Instagram)
Alex & Ryan: Part XVIII
Of all the stupid fucking things I’ve done tonight, I had to lose my keys on my way out of Ryan’s house? Hitting my pockets repeatedly proved futile in causing them to appear suddenly. The light of my cell phone was of no real use, considering I would have to search every step I took to find the keys. Straining my eyes, I looked intensely down at the driveway and grass around me. Did they just slip out of my pockets? Probably. But here in the yard? In Ryan’s room? Or in the stairway? The hallway? They really could have been anywhere, and I was in no mood to look.
Sighing loudly, I fell on my car with a loud thud.
“God dammit,” I whispered to myself. I leaned my head back to touch the cool metal of my car, mentally planning out my search for the forsaken keys. I couldn’t have dropped them around here, I was only out in the driveway for a few seconds before I reached into my pocket to find them missing. Perhaps they were lying somewhere in Ryan’s house. Or did I leave them in the car?
A quick search of the usual places I find missing items proved effortless, though. And I could have sworn putting them in my pocket after I turned off my car, anyway. It was basically my instinct to do so. Shit, I would have to go back into Ryan’s house.
For some reason, I became extraordinarily nervous returning to the familiar front porch. I didn’t get caught the first time returning Ryan here, but what makes me think I won’t get caught by his parents this time around? I swear, this is one of the worst nights ever.
I forced myself to take each step forward towards the door, and quickly panicked as I wondered if the front door would be locked. I had to unlock it to get in, and I didn’t touch the lock on my out….
Grasping the doorknob, I slowly turned it with my eyes closed, hoping for all that is good and holy that the door is unlocked. Luckily for me, the door clicked, and I was able to push it open. As I entered through the threshold, my mind immediately wondered what my explanation would be if Ryan’s parents caught me. Was there any good reason to be wandering around his house in the middle of the night by myself as everyone slept upstairs? I guess I could go with the truth: I was an idiot and lost my keys in their house after I let myself be an idiot and let Ryan get drunk and then confirmed my status as an idiot for getting caught with him by one of my best friends. I’m sure they’d believe that.
Focus. I need to find my keys and get the hell out of here so I can home and sleep and end this night.
My eyes scanned the floor in front of me, but I didn’t catch anything out of the ordinary. Bending low to help see, the only thing that caught my attention was the glint of a dime next to a trash can, which I initially thought were the keys. And to think I actually could have gotten away with only taking a couple steps into the home.
I retraced my steps down the hall, up stairs, down the next hall, and finally into Ryan’s room. Nothing was found. His room was the only place my keys could have been, and if they weren’t in here, I guess I was walking home. As softly as I could, I took a step forward and lightly touched this slightly ajar door. Pushing it open, I found the room to be exactly the way I left it- not to my surprise though, since only minutes passed since I left.
Ryan was sleeping soundly with the blanket up to his chin- his breathing was really the only sound in the room since I was too afraid any sound I made would alert everyone in the house of my presence. I tiptoed into the room, hoping my keys were just lying on the floor. But another sweep of the ground proved futile. Fuck.
I snuck over to Ryan’s bed, gently placing my hand on his mattress, whispering “Ryan?” He shifted a little in his bed but didn’t wake.
“Ryan?” I said again, only faintly louder. His eyes flickered open and a confused look descended on his face.
“Alex?” he asked back, lifting his head to look nearer at me, unsure if I was actually there.
I moved my hand to his arm as I drew closer. “Sorry to wake you, but I lost my keys in here somewhere. Do you feel them in your bed?” He just looked at me for a second, then sighed as his head fell back onto his pillow.
“I have your keys, babe,” he let out with a slight chuckle to himself, as if it was more confusing to him that I didn’t know that. But how the hell was I supposed to know?
Actually, the real question was why he had my keys at all. I’ve been looking all over this damn place for them and it turns out he has had them the whole time? Why? How did he get them? Why didn’t he tell me?
“You do?” my brain finally processed into words in all my confusion. Ryan yawned loudly and sat up in his bed, moving so he could sit against the headboard. He looked coyly at me, smirking just so very slightly.
He pulled my keys from under his pillow. “Well you took my house keys, so I took yours.”
There was really no thought in my head as I tried to understand what he was saying. I ended up just kind of looking at him in a funny way. He looked right back, like what he did made any sense at all. I mean, I guess it made some sense if you stretched it enough. Was he still a little drunk?
“Ryan,” I simply said.
“Alex.”
“I borrowed your house keys to get in your house.”
“So I borrowed your-“
“And I put them on your desk.”
Ryan’s little smirk didn’t fade as he glanced over to the table behind me to verify that. I leaned back to pick them up, jingle them a bit, and set them back down. Satisfied with the proof, he just kind of shrugged at me.
“So can I have my keys back?” I inquired again.
Ryan let out another chuckle. “You’ll have to come get them, hot shot.” He gave me a wink and shoved the keys back under his pillow, which he immediately lay down on, protecting them.
“Come on, Ryan, I’m tired,” I pleaded.
“Sorry, babe, I’d love to help, but they’re already under my pillow and everything.”
Standing up to look down at him, he shot me an innocent smile, to which I strangely found funny. A giggle escaped my lips, and that was all the reinforcement he needed to know he could keep teasing me. Continuing to look at him, a grin of my own emerged.
But it wasn’t like I could help it. I mean, this was the boy I loved. It was pretty difficult to look at him and not get all tingly inside and giggle like a schoolgirl and grin relentlessly and have an overwhelming urge to hold him and kiss him. Damn, I didn’t need this.
But how could I fight it?
I guess if I was getting home, I’d have to go through Ryan.
Trying to take advantage of some element of surprise I had, I quickly jumped onto Ryan’s bed, and reached my hand under his pillow. Although I made it, the few moments I had wasn’t enough to accomplish my goal before Ryan pulled my arm away. He held onto my arm with both his hands, so I used my other arm to reach around him, but he pushed it away with his shoulder. Laughter escaping from both of us, we tried desperately to beat the other. At this point, it was who could last longer? How long could Ryan hold onto my keys? How many times will I try to retrieve them before giving up?
I positioned myself on top of my boyfriend to gain better leverage. However, he was too fast for any move I was about to make, and he pinned down both my hands with his. Our faces were only inches apart.
Like when he first kissed me. Only I was looking down at him this time.
He grinned at me like a madman. But his smile was so intoxicating, that I couldn’t help get those tingles and butterflies inside again. I tried one last time to get those little metal items from underneath his pillow, but I failed yet again.
I had no idea where all his energy was coming from. Just minutes ago he was too tired and pained to walk himself up to his room. But now suddenly, he seemed like nothing had happened that night.
“Getting tired?” he breathed, his eyes digging into mine.
I chuckled, “Shouldn’t you be? I thought you were going to be passed out by now.”
“It’s amazing what five minutes in your bed will do,” he replied, caressing my hands now, wrapping his fingers in between mine.
“If you give me my keys, I’ll let you have hours and hours of sweet one-on-one time with your bed,” I offered him with one eyebrow cocked.
He laughed, releasing my hands to put his own behind his head, gazing up and down my body. “That’s nothing compared to just a moment of one-on-one time with you.”
Thank God it was dark in the room, because I didn’t want Ryan to see my cheeks flash pink. I sat up, and realized I was straddling Ryan’s hips as he looked up at me with that grin on his face. Here I was, with the boy of dreams, my boyfriend, clad only in his underwear, smiling up at me, waiting for me to make the next move. But looking at him, I could only think of one thing to do, and the desire to do it has been building the entire night. I just didn’t realize it. But now it hitting me with such a force that if I don’t satisfy this urge, I don’t think I will be able to do anything for the rest of my night.
My brain just kinda stopped thinking about everything. And I could only act on instinct. All night my head was telling me to do the exact opposite of what my body wanted. I hadn’t really realized it until just then, that I wanted Ryan’s body on mine. All of it. I didn’t want to just carry him to my car, hold him because he was cold, or wrestle with him in his bed. It was really nice, don’t get me wrong. But it wasn’t enough.
I bent forward, my hands slammed down right above Ryan’s shoulders, in the small holes his arms made as his hands were behind his head. My forehead rested on his, and I gazed intensely into his eyes, as he followed suit.
God damn I loved this guy.
My eyes drifted down to his soft lips, and before I even knew it, they crashed into mine.
And it seemed that for a moment the only things in the world were his lips on mine. This was what Ryan had wanted to do all night, and what I had been denying him. I’m sure I had good reasons to, but right now, I couldn’t remember them. I couldn’t think of any reason why I wouldn’t want this to happen.
My hand floated to the side of his face, making out all the soft and subtle features of his head. I twiddled the few stray strands of hair over his eyes in between my fingertips. His arms found their way closer to my body, his hands clasping my forearms and making their way down to my hips. The intimacy was electrifying, and I couldn’t understand any need for anything other than his body pushing up against mine. Other than his lips on mine. Other than his tongue sneaking out into my mouth. Other than his hands brushing up under my shirt to leave shocking tingles on every inch of skin they touched.
“Mmm,” he moaned quietly as I moved down from his mouth to his neck, finding a sweet spot to nibble lustfully. The more noise I could make him emit, the more my shirt seemed to crawl up my chest. Eventually, I was rid of it.
And as soon as that was gone, my body dropped down to his, where our chests and stomachs could wrestle themselves like we were a little while ago.
“Fuck Alex,” he said, sliding his hands onto my chest in order to push me up. I looked at him pleadingly- I didn’t want to part from the contact. But his hands continue to glide from my chest down to my stomach, and further to the waist of my shorts. I watched as he delicately unbuttoned them, but as he pulled the zipper down, I couldn’t wait anymore for his lips on mine. I had no idea how he resisted this urge when I unclothed him earlier. Maybe he was a stronger man than me.
Whatever the case, if he wanted my clothes off, I wasn’t going to argue. I slipped my shoes off and threw them to the other side of the room, and just as they hit the ground, Ryan grabbed my shoulders and pulled me down onto the bed. Now on my side, he was able to push my shorts to my thighs, after which I completed the job. They joined my shoes and shirt on the floor.
And there I was. In my underwear. With my boyfriend. Who was also in his underpants as we passionately kissed and explored every available inch of body we could find with our hands.
“Alex,” Ryan said quietly.
“Yeah?”
“I love you,” he muttered in between deep breaths.
“I love you, too,” I stared intently at my boyfriend in front of me, my heart pounding in my ears. He chuckled and I grinned. Like usual.
He looked me straight in the eyes for moment, his smile becoming more serious, “I want to do things to you.”
My heart was pounding furiously in my chest at his statement, and God knows I wanted him to do things to me. We kissed again, and he pushed his tongue into my mouth, distracting me while his hand slid under the band of my underpants.
- - - -
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Alex & Ryan: Part XVII
The ride back to his house was uneventful; the roads were empty and I could easily navigate the roads to Ryan’s house in a timely manner. The more difficult leg of this trip was yet to come, I realized as I pulled into his neighborhood: I still had to get him into his bed.
My car effortlessly glided up his driveway, in much the same way it had right after the baseball game not too long ago. A lot certainly had happened since then. Once I turned off the engine, the car’s internal lights dimmed and turned off, leaving Ryan and I in the dark for a moment before I got out of the car. I looked over at him, remembering all the things we said, did, and experienced that night. And somehow he was still able to sleep. Of course he had the help of the beer. I sort of envied that, though. I doubted I would get any sleep tonight.
“Alex…?” I heard quietly next to me, making me focus my sight again on my more-than-friend. He shifted a little, turning his head to me.
“Ryan, you’re awake?”
“Where are we?”
“At your house,” It must have taken a minute for that to register with him, because he looked to be straining to comprehend it. I let him process his surroundings. He looked down at himself, still fully clothed, then at me, then outside the car.
“What time is it?”
“About 2 in the morning. You’ve been out for a little while,” I smiled at him. He just looked at me, returned a slight grin, then closed his eyes tightly, letting his head fall back on the head-rest.
“I’m really tired and my head kinda hurts,” he complained, yawning, then wincing in pain.
“It’ll be okay, we just gotta get you to your room. Then you can fall asleep,” I told him, opening my door. I could barely see my car in the dark, but it wasn't difficult to find Ryan’s door. When I pulled the door open, I saw Ryan struggling with the seat belt, trying to get it off. “Here, let me help you,” I said as I reached over, unbuckled the seat belt, and pulled him out of the car. Standing up took a lot out of him, evidently, because he leaned against the car for support. I didn’t let go of his arm, though, worried he would fall without my touch.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, clutching my waist.
“Come on, babe,” I smiled at him, as I closed his door and we moved together to the door. It was immensely easier to help him when he was awake. Even if just barely. He smirked a little at my teasing, and rested his head on my shoulder. When we reached the door, however, I had to get the keys out of his pockets to open the locked door. Which of course he giggled at.
“Alex, you dog,” he snickered when I reached into his pocket.
“Shut up,” I couldn’t help but chuckled, though. Opening the door, we quietly found the staircase, and miraculously made it all the way up the stairs. When we got to Ryan’s room, I dropped him on his bed, where I assumed he would pass out again. I threw his shoes down on the floor and tried to make him comfortable again. This time, in the privacy of his room, I sat down on the bed next to him and peeled his shirt off. He didn’t say anything.
I looked down at him, once again soaking in what happen that night. He was certainly drunk, and I wasn’t the most friendly, but he never stopped wanting to be with me. My more-than-friend was lying down in front of me in his bed, only unlike the last time, I couldn't stay and lie down next to him. I reached over and pulled off his socks too, slowly, though, knowing he was incredibly ticklish about his feet.
“Alex…” I was startled to find him awakening again.
“Yeah?”
“Why are you taking my clothes off?” he managed to raise his head to look up at me from his pillow. A slight grin hung off his mouth. He would be grinning…
“Do you want to sleep with them on?” I replied, getting up from the bed, and tossing his big blanket over him.
“Wait, Alex,” he whispered, dropping his head back on his pillow. He shifted his body around again, his eyes closed now.
“What?” I whispered back.
“Can you take off my shorts too?” He asked without opening his eyes. At first I didn’t know if I should. I looked down at him, thinking about how blatantly he asked. Like, he just kinda asked. Like it was no big deal. “Alex?” he asked, opening his eyes to look at me.
“Yeah, sure thing, Ryan,” I replied, taking the blanket back off him.
“You’re the best boyfriend ever,” he said as I pulled down his zipper. My head quickly shot up to him. Boyfriend, he said. I unbuttoned his shorts, and slid them off his legs. He watched me try to maneuver his clothes off, sighing in relief when the article of clothing was off him. “Thanks, babe,” he said.
I didn’t reply immediately. I looked up at Ryan’s face, and down his body, and up again. He smiled at me.
“Come over here, Alex. Come sleep with me like we did last time,” he suggested, mumbling and moving his body to give me room in his bed. And how in the world could I tell him no? I was being beckoned by my boyfriend, only clad in his black boxer-briefs, giving me room in his bed to lie down next to him.
He laid his head down on his pillow again, closed his eyes, and rested his hand out in front of him, where he wanted me to be.
“I can’t, Ryan, I have to go,” I stuttered, wishing with every fiber I was lying.
“Please?” he whispered, opening his eyes to look at me.
“I’m sorry. I can’t.” He frowned at me.
“You haven’t wanted to be with me all night. I don’t know why I fucking try. Go ahead, Alex. Go, I’ll sleep alone,” he whispered into his pillow.
“Ryan, please. You know I love you. But you aren’t exactly thinking straight. You’ve been drunk, and you know how much I hate that.”
“You had some too!”
“What’s one bottle to… how many did you have?”
“I don’t know.”
“Exactly.”
“Why can’t you at least come here and, I don’t know, we’ll cuddle like last time,” he pleaded, suddenly no longer mad, but sad. I leaned down next to him, ran my head through his hair, and kissed him gently on his lips. He returned to the gesture, and for a moment, all I wanted was his lips on mine, his body against mine, and his arms around me.
“We will, Ryan. Next time,” I said softly.
“Promise?” he asked gently, looking deeply at me with his blue eyes, which still shined in the dark room.
“I swear. Now goodnight, Ryan. I love you,” I said, kissing one last time on the cheek.
“Love you, baby,” he returned, closing his eyes again. He drifted off almost instantly as I stood back up and looked at him. I once again pulled the blanket up to his chin, and made sure he was fine and asleep. Then I slowly snuck my way out of his house, hating my plans for tomorrow. There was nothing else I wanted but Ryan, and yet I was leaving him behind, sad and a little horny.
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