#alexxreader

[writings-of-a-hufflepuff]

I Loved, I Loved, and I Lost You

Fandom: Dunkirk

Pairing: Alex x Reader

Warning: Character death, angsty, really sad

Writer: @imaginesofeveryfandom aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long

Summary/Request: I was listening to Hurts like Hell by Fleurie and...angst happened: Basically readers experience of grief.

Notes: As usual when there’s not specifics in the pairing section: this is a gender neutral reader.

He died bravely. We’re sorry. Our condolences. Alex. Phrases in a little letter sent through your door, supposed to console you, supposed to inform you of his death. But it didn’t console. It didn’t make any of this any easier. 

You’d loved him with all your heart, you’d felt it deep in your chest every day you woke up. The ache that missed him, the ache of affection, the ache of him. Now the ache was for him, for it to be a mistake, for them to write another letter letting you know that they had made a grave error, that he was really still alive. What made it worse was that the war had just ended in Europe. That had he stayed alive a few more weeks...he’d be on his way home to you. 6 years of war and he’d nearly made it home for good. But nearly wasn’t good enough. 

It felt like there was a hole in your chest where he used to be, a hole that’s begging to have him back, begging for him to fill it again. You couldn’t even repatriate his body. They wouldn’t allow it because no one was allowed, just like in the Great War. He was going to stay in France and you weren’t going to be able to mourn him properly. You weren’t going to be able to regularly visit his grave, place sunflowers on his grave, talk to him, let him know that you miss him, that you loved him. That he was the key to your lock. The handle on your door. He was a vital part of you. 

It hurt so much. Hurt so much that you had to force yourself to eat, to get out of bed, to wash, to clean your clothes, to go to your work. You finally understood what so many people had said about the pain, about the grief. You’d never really understood how crippling it could be before Alex, before that letter. Your mother knew it rather well having lost her only brother in the Great War. Having never been able to get his body home. Having to travel simply to say goodbye. 

“Are you going to be okay on your own, darling?” You look up at her now from your seat, cold tea in front of you. You know she understands, that its empathy not pity that you see. She knows exactly what its like to lose someone that you love, that is a staple of your life. 

“No...no.” The tears fall, like they always fall. Ugly, heavy, gasping. Whoever said crying was beautiful was wrong. Crying out for the one person you’ll never get back, crying with everything in you, that was ugly, it was gritty, it was dirty. It was pure hurt, pure pain. 

She wraps her arms around you like she used to do when you were child and you fall into them, sobbing against her dress. You know that she understands, you know that this is a position she has been in before...but you don’t know how you’ll move past this. How do you live a life without the one person you were supposed to build that life with? The one person you wanted to build your life with?

“I just want him back...I just want him back. It’s not fair! It...”

“I know, darling, I know.”

[writings-of-a-hufflepuff]

Just A Day

Fandom: Dunkirk

Pairing: Alex x Reader

Warning: Little bit of angst, but a decent amount of fluff? 

Writer: @imaginesofeveryfandom​ aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long​

Summary/Request: You greet Alex at the train station after Dunkirk and bring him home. For however long the war allows. 

“You have no idea how terrified I was...” You mumble it into his jacket because even though he smells like dirt and oil and sea water, he’s here. That’s what matters. You’d been absolutely petrified, everyone knew what was happening in Dunkirk, everyone knew that it was a bloody terrible situation. But no one knew who was alive, who was dead, who would return to England and who wouldn’t. Whether or not the war was going be over, if you were going to surrender.

When Alex joined the Army you knew it was going to be hard. He was going off to war and you weren’t naive nor ignorant of the fact that you’d spend most of it scared for him. But you never imagined how horrible it could be knowing he was in direct danger, but not knowing how he was.

“’m sorry...I...”

“You don’t have to talk about it...” You can’t imagine what he’s been through in the last 48 hours. He looks so haggard that you know it wasn’t an easy ride out of Dunkirk that whatever happened there was terrifying, terrible, and something that no one should ever experience. But that was war.

He presses his lips to your temple and just sighs, “Thanks, love” You know he’ll have to go back soon, that he’ll get orders to go to a base and then be sent back out to France. But until then you’re going to take him home, get him a nice bath, and as good a meal as possible with the rationing on.

“Lets go home” You pull away and grab his hand, pulling him from the station platform and down the road. Home’s been so far away for him for so long. He hasn’t had leave since the war began and its been so long since he’s seen it. He forgot how home could feel.

The walk is a relatively short one, the streets are busy however, men in uniform can be seen at every turn and everyone seems to be out on the streets to greet them. He hasn’t seen this much joy in quite a while and its jarring considering the past 48 hours have been filled with anger, frustration, fear, death...

The house looks the same as when he left. The red front door’s pain peeling slightly, the number 89 crooked. The brick and mortar the same, the plants still trying to take over the house. A deep breath leaves him, his shoulders fall, relax, and he’s reminded that he’s safe now, he’s home. Even if its for a little while and he’s going to make the most of however little that while is.

You pull him into the house and close the door behind you, giving him a few moments to take in the familiar surroundings, the hallway, the stair case, the kitchen, the living room, the settee that he found on the side of the road and decided would do until you had a little more money. You had both worked incredibly hard for this house, for everything in it, and you’d planned on making it a proper home right when the war started. You should have seen it coming, known that that flimsy peace treaty Chamberlain procured would do little in the end. But optimism was a funny thing, as was hindsight.

“It looks the same.”

“I tried not to change anything...it reminded me of you and I...I thought you’d want it to be the same when you came home.” Every day you thought of Alex, thought of the past, but also thought of the present. How was he? How was he feeling? Was he okay? Was he fed well? Was he warm? Did he miss you the way you missed him?

“What if I hadn’t? Come home, I mean.” He turned to you, brow furrowed in obvious pain at the thought, at how close he’d come to not coming home. Your own face drops at the thought.

“Then it wouldn’t have changed it. Ever.” You mean it, every little thing reminds you of him, of your relationship. From the ratty settee he found, to the pictures on the walls to the ugly vase his mother had brought the two of you as a house warming gift. If he was no longer around, if you no longer had him, then at least you would have the little memories attached to the items in your home.

He knows he has to come back then. Not just because he wants to, but because he can’t hurt you like that. He doesn’t ever want to cause you to feel that sort of pain. He knows its stupid to think that he’ll definitely survive this war, but at the very least he’ll try his damned best.

“Why don't you go have a bath? Get some clean clothes on, i’ll start on dinner. Think you could do with a good meal, love.”

“’m famished.” He is, he’s gone at least a day without eating anything and his stomach long since stopped complaining, knowing it was getting nowhere. But real, honest to god, home cooked food? That was something he desperately wanted. A bath sounded good. Clean clothes sounded good. The small comforts of life just sounded good.

“Go on.” You press a quick kiss to his lips, like you always did, like the habit hadn’t been broken at all by the war. Urging him to go upstairs before turning to the kitchen.

Even if you had a day you’d make the most of that day with him. A day where it was him and not his letters that greeted you. Just having him here for a day was enough to keep you going.

[missdutch21md]

Alex – Lean On Me Soyou x Kwon Jeongyeol

A/N: Hello! A quick little drabble for High4 I miss these boys more than anything. 😭 For more High4 check out my side blog... 👀👀 @high4everyours

All my Love, 

Soul 

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.” - Winnie the Pooh 

:::::  

“Hey you,” you smiled coming up to Alex while he sat at the table alone.  

“Hey,” he answered softly sparing you a glance with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.  

“What’s going on?” you asked taking your seat beside him.  

Alex shrugged and looked off into a corner of the café away from you. “Things have been pretty stressful lately,” he admitted after a few silent minutes passed between you.  

You nodded, “too many fangirls?” you asked trying to lighten the mood.  

Alex tried his best to not laugh, but try as he might, he couldn’t fight back the smile that was splitting his face. Alex then talked to you about everything that was bothering him, from little peeves that were starting to surface, to his own anxieties about his upcoming comeback.  

“You know that you don’t need to worry about all that,” you scolded him. “You always stress yourself out and then afterwards you’re always like, ‘I guess that wasn’t so bad’,” you pointed out.  

Alex nodded, “I know, it’s just—I can’t help it,” he sighed letting his face hide behind his hands.  

“I know, I’m here for you, just remember that,” you smiled warmly at him. He still didn’t look convinced so you pressed, “you’re braver than you believe, smarter than you seem, and smarter than you think… Now, how about you let me pay for coffee this time?” you offered when you saw that he was taking what you said to heart.  

Alex protested, “I’m older, I need to take care of my dongsaeng,” he whined as you stole the check and ran to pay the cashier.  

“Too late!” You let out a victory cry when the cashier took your credit card first.  

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[pertenebris-adastra]

Oops!

               “(Y/n) they are going to know exactly who is behind this.” Your boyfriend Alex said as you snuck behind the sound booth of the convention. You grinned and rolled your eyes as him.

           “Yeah but they won’t know until It’s too late.” You giggled, your eyes scanning the sound board to find the microphone dials. “Alex, what was Jared’s mic number? 13? Or was it 14?”

Alex furrowed his eyebrows after you asked. “They were numbered?” You turned your head to him, your eyes screaming in playful annoyance. You hung your head in disappointment and sighed.

“Sweetie, I love you, but you are the absolute worst at pranks.” Sighing purposefully, just to give him a little more shit, you turned back to the board. “Lets just hope its number 14.” You reached over and turned the frequency of the mic all the way and turned back to Alex happily.

“I’ve got to start teaching you how to get revenge in a prank war, baby.” You laughed, grabbing his hand and kissing his cheek as he led you back to the green room, so you could wait for the J2 panel.

It didn’t take long before Jensen and Jared came into the room, saying hello to the two of you before grabbing their mics and heading onstage. You and Alex followed the two of them, stopping just before you were actually on the stage, just so you had the perfect vantage point to watch your prank unfold.

After their opening song played and Rich introduced both of them, it was Jared’s turn to speak. You bit you lip and grinned at Alex.

“Hey everyone!” Jared said, his voice sounding completely normal. “How are y’all doin’ tonight?”

You froze, your eyes widening as you looked at Alex, his eyes just as wide as yours. “Shit.” You mumbled, covering your mouth as you turned to Jensen, watching him as if it were in slow-motion.

“Thanks for coming to hang out with us Nash-” Jensen froze, the entire crowd going silent for what seemed like forever before they, Jared included, burst into laughter. Everybody thought it was hilarious, Jared had tears in his eyes as he spotted you trying to hold in your own laughter, which only made him laugh harder as he pointed you out to Jensen.

When Jensen saw who was behind the prank he glared at you jokingly and brought the microphone back up to his lips. “God Dammit y’all!” He squeaked, a huge grin on his face. “You’re in for it now.” His shrill threat sending the room into another fit of laughter.

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