I am coming to believe I shall have to write a handbook for humans. Their behavior is completely baffling. For instance, upon our return to the table Ryan pointed to the glass of brown, bubbling liquid on Jacobs’ tray and informed her it will cause her teeth to rot.
“Why don’t you synthesize one that doesn’t rot your teeth?” Jacobs asked. Her tone seemed to be one of challenge.
Ryan replied with a shrug. “Without the acid it doesn’t taste right.”
My stomach clenched. It didn’t seem possible for any species to consume acid. Yet Ryan had just confirmed that not only did humans do so, it was necessary for their enjoyment of this beverage. The thought ruined my appetite.
“Well when you make something as good as this I’ll switch over.” Jacobs took a drink of the bubbling liquid. I resisted the urge to slap it out of her hands.
“So what’d’ve got there?” Ryan turned his attention to me.
“Just some grass and water.” I replied. The two humans looked at each other. For a moment I suspected some form of telepathic communication had occurred though I had not heard of humans being able to do such things.
“So that really is grass. You eat grass.” Jacobs said after a pause. Her eyes were locked onto my bowl.
“Y-yes... Is that a problem?” It suddenly occurred to me that my lunch may have offended them somehow. The reports from the Council on their human counterparts had precious little about their eating habits. The Council had primarily concerned itself the functioning of the human’s government and something called fashion.
“No! No, it’s not a problem. It’s ok.” Jacobs was quick to reassure me. She looked pleadingly towards Ryan.
“It’s just there’s a phrase on Earth... People will say they’re eating grass when they’re on a diet to try and lose weight.” Ryan explained.
“So when you’re literally eating grass our first thought is that you’re starving yourself to lose weight.” Jacobs added. “Not that you need to lose anything. You look great.”
“Yeah, really great.” Ryan nodded. “But now we know. Grass is what you eat.”
I won’t deny I found the praise of my physical form somewhat pleasing. I doubted they had seen any other Delaxi but I would not reject their compliments. Given my strong prey appearance, I had been complimented on my form precious few times previously.
“Thank you.” I said. My ears twitched in gratitude. “Now, if you do not mind my asking... What are you eating?”
