Whumptober Day 15:
Childhood Trauma
Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | “I did good, right?”
Fandom: Trolls
Day 31: Making amends
Alt. Regret, Time Loop
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“I did good, right?”
A simple question, innocent and pleading, large eyes and trembling hands.
"I did good, right?”
Wet and tired, desperate in a way a child should never be.
"I did good, right?”
Warped grin and cocky lilt, a sharp look and cruel taunt.
Such a normal phrase, said so many times over his life, by himself, by others.
But not his brothers.
He had tried so hard, done everything he could to ensure his brothers never had a need to ask such a question.
Was he a good guardian further down the line? No. He knows he messed up, now more than ever. But he had still hoped to never hear that question from their lips.
“I… Did g-good ri-ight?”
His baby brother, so different from his memories, of that little trolling after their first practice together, looking up at him with wide blue pools, how JD had praised him before any question could leave his lips, had thrown him in the air and delighted in his giggles. The tiny baby brother that he swore to protect after everything, the one he left, with some asinine thought it was for his own good, was standing before him on wobbling legs.
Branch had saved them.
But at what cost?
They all rush forward as those legs falter, as trembling arms wrap around them, as teary eyes clash with a small smile and grunt of pain.
“S-sorry, I imagined o-our reunion hugs d-differently.”
“Ju-just lay still, where… whats..” Floyds hands flutter, each pain filled breath making them jump away.
“I… I missed you guys.” He coughs wetly, “I knew I wasn’t good enough to come back for. But I couldn’t stay away when you guys were in trouble.” There's a rasp to his words now, like something is pressing on his lungs and scratching at his throat.
But the words themselves hurt far worse than any torture.
“You are good enough. You are better than all of us combined.” Bruce vehemently objects, tears already streaking down his face.
“We… We’re the ones to blame B, not you, never you.” Clay is ashen where he supports Branch’s head, brushing hair from his baby brother's face gently.
He stares up at them with lidded eyes, that blue no longer bright and innocent, that teal no longer gracing his fur and brightening his cheeks. What had he been through? What had they done?
What had JD done?
Forced them all apart, separated the family, abandoned them all.
This was all John's fault. His Baby Brother could be dying, and it's all his fault.
“I’m so sorry B.” John whispers brokenly, “None of this should have happened. I’d take it all back if I could.”
“I don’t think I blame you guys anymore.” He whispers back, surprising them all, “I was angry… but, I don’t want to go angry.” He offers another sad smile, “I’m just glad I got to see you all again.”
“You’re not going anywhere! We’re gonna get help, you’re gonna be fine!” Floyd’s head whips around, trying to find anyone, but a hand grabs his own.
“~Here comes the sun…~” His voice is hoarse, like it hasn’t sung in some time, “~Here comes the sun, and I say…~”
“~It’s alright…~” John's own isn’t much different, he hadn’t felt the urge to sing in…
“~Little darlin’, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter~” Bruce joins in, a wobble to his voice as tears build further.
“Little darlin’, it feels like years since it's been here~” Clay’s voice is softer than they ever remember hearing it.
“~Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo~” Branch continues, eyes sliding over their faces one by one.
“~Here comes the sun, and I say, It's alright~” Floyd finally joins, stuffy nose making the notes come out froggy, but the sentiment is the same.
The brothers pick up the rest together, harmonizing and blending and taking the turns needed, like they had never split in the first place, never stopped singing for the fun of it.
“~Little darlin', the smile's returning to their faces
Little darlin', it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's alright
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes~” Branch’s voice fades with each word, until it's gone all together.
His eyes have slid closed, his breaths slow and shaky, and only getting worse, the brothers share teary looks over his head, their tones turning somber.
“~Little darlin', I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darlin', it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's alright
Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo
Here comes the sun
It's alright
It's alright~”
Tear soaked cheeks, wet plops across the leaf vest and slack face. They could almost imagine he’s sleeping. Sobs fill the air, four brothers hunched over a fifth, agony filled cries, remorseful apologies, pleading prayers to whatever muses will listen.
It takes them a moment too long to notice anything changing. A glow around them, familiar and new at the same time. Branch disappears from beneath them, startled gasps and choked sobs as their heads whip around, a voice surrounding them.
"Remember and you just might heal.”
Flashes of light as they disappear one by one.
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“Bitty B, what's ya thinkin’ bud?”
“Did I do good, Johnny?”
A hitch in his breathing, a stutter in his heart, he kneels before the 3 year old,
“You did amazing, Branch, I’m so proud of you.”
“We gonna stay together?”
“Yeah. You’re stuck with us.”
“...I like this time better.”
“Me too, me too.”
((Time loop route that I couldn't fit in without making this ten times longer:
Branch isn't mad at his brothers anymore because he's met so many versions of them and found love in each one's heart, healing something small each time. Branch doesn't get used to dying, he treats every time like it will be his last. He's woken up so many times back to the same day, he's lost count. A small grey trolling in a barely made bunker. He's seen the village die, by critter or bergen alike. He's seen the world of trolls beyond the forest and all that could come with it with the slightest change. But mostly, at some point, without fail, despite all the changes, his brothers are there. Finally, he decides to make them his focus, to see what life would be like. So he wakes up, a kid alone in a hole (bunker) and goes to leave. He finds a letter, his brothers in danger, he doesn't hesitate to go. But Branch is hit, mortally wounded. His brothers are safe. He feels no anger in his heart anymore. How could he hate them when he's seen how much they love and grieve and live. Whether he knows it's the last time or not, Branch doesn't want to go with any anger in his heart. That child inside of him that misses his brothers slowly heals as they join his song.))