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[pulpoddyssey]

Angry But Informative Letter About Brash Front Page Article

[Above: Billie, a person from Earth II in the Esulp Numah galaxy who lounges all day long. From “Flower Nap” by Oliv Roe.] We published and distributed our latest issue just three days ago. We have received a lot of feedback (and even some hate mail) about the article titled “Are Lazy People Productive in an Alternate Galaxy.” The answer, by the way, is yes. Yes they are. Here is one particularly informative letter about misinformation found in the article. (We are going to refrain from publishing any of the hate mail to save your eyes the vulgarity.) Please keep the conversation going with respectful dialog. Thanks! - Editors

Dear Editor, 

DO YOU READ THINGS? Minne Marshin’s (OR IS IT MARSHIL’S) piece on lazy people in an “alternate galaxy” was, in itself, extremely lazy, under researched and culturally incompetent. 

They got a number of facts wrong and those facts have direct cultural implications for behaviors and freedoms of the people described in the article. First of all, they stated, “Esulp Numah Galaxy, a galaxy directly parallel to the Hamun Pluse.” The Esulp Numah Galaxy is not only directly parallel the Hamun Pluse, but it is so in a parallel universe. The implication that the Esulp Numah exists in the Disappearing Universe is insulting to people of both universes. Esulp Numah exists in the Gniraeppasid Universe, where the idea of “laziness” is a social construct imposed upon the youth by elder generations who took no heed to consider the younger generations value as citizens. In the Gniraeppasid, elder generations have systematically disenfranchised their own children because of their own delusions of power and greed. This should not go unacknowledged and should absolutely be explored in any conversation regarding any citizen of Esulp Numah!!!

Secondly, Marshin(l) gave space to a quote from an author whose words imply that the young generation of the Esulp Numah could change their social landscape just by “waking up earlier.” This is just not the case! Time is irrelevant in the Gniraeppasid. They don’t function on a clock they way we do in the Disappearing Universe. Waking up a 3:30 pm has just as many implications as waking up at 6 am or 10 pm. It doesn’t matter there! Time doesn’t follow a strict pattern and therefore has no bearing on on someone’s sleep pattern or productivity. As the Dr. Legra Lentil points out in her book, the fact that someone gets up and even has a thought or opinion is the most culturally-relevant thing that can possible change the course of history for the better. Honestly, kudos to those kids for literally putting an idea in their head.

Seriously Pulp Oddyssey, hire better writers. This is getting ridiculous.

Sincerely, 

A Really Annoyed Reader

Earth I 

Hi ANAR, 

Thanks for your feedback. We admit we literally knew nothing about this parallel universe until we read your letter. It sounds fascinating and have so many questions! Would you write for us next issue? We’ll pay you $5,000 letters per word (DG$) or .0000000025 cents per word (US$).  

Best, 

Disappearing Editors

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