#altruiisms

[lupiinee]

this wasn't the most pressing issue at play here . there was nothing that made it make sense in remus' mind . && yet , she was all that he could think about . an ACTIVE war , terror && hatred , fucking full moon approaching && all his thoughts were focused on the pink haired witch that had stolen his heart .

he had ran so hard && so fast that he could barely catch his breath . he could barely stomach it . he wanted nothing more than to fold into her arms && love her && tell her that he wanted nothing more than to have a life with her . but bloody hell , there was a war on . voldemort was back . people were disappearing daily . the fuck was wrong with him to think that he was exempt ? to think that he could ignore it for the sake of being in love ?

stupid man .

he was far older than james now . && it was never more apparent in this moment . if remus was still in his early twenties , he might have actually CONSIDERED what james had said . if he had met tonks before the war , maybe even then . but most importantly , if he wasn't this .. evil creature , then he would hold her hand && never let go .

sitting with james in the hotel room , grateful that his friend didn't give two shits about him smoking ( even partaking it himself ) so remus had lit up a cigarette && was taking deep breaths , inhaling the tar && letting it calm his mind down . ❝ sirius is a whole other conversation , ❞ he said lowly , unsure how the other would take it && dreading to think about it all too much .

❝ come on james , ❞ remus sighed . ❝ i can't OFFER her anything . i've barely been able to feed myself or hold down a job or a flat for more than a month . how am i going to give her the life she deserves ? && she'd be ostracised , cast out because of what i am . i can't do that to her . i can't . ❞

@altruiisms from here

[lupiinee]

the sound that escapes past remus' lips is pitiful . hardly the sound that would be associated with a wolf . it's PATHETIC , aching . mournful . a mix of pain , terror && exhaustion as he feels the pull of the moon deep within his very veins , pulling him to the rays of light . it's almost here . he can feel it long before it even breaks his bones , before it bites at his skin . the KNOWLEDGE that in minutes his mind won't be his anymore . that teeth will rip && shred && beg for blood . every twenty-eight days , like clockwork since he was five years old , this monster took over his soul , && the hatred that remus felt for it was quickly eclipsed by the ANGER that he held instead .

leaning forward , unable to stand much longer , remus felt his knees buckle , his right leg , where the faint silver outline of the bite , where the curse first entered his bloodstream , now was throbbing with agony . desperate to be heard . to be experienced . tears MINGLED with sweat as he tried to force himself to look over , but to no avail . his senses were being assaulted with information . hues of colour were sharper && deeper && more VIBRANT , but seeing it through human eyes made his corneas sting angrily . && his head felt like it was going to burst .

a pair of strong hands were felt against his shoulders , forcing him to sit back on the heels of his feet , && remus reached out gripping the others wrist , perhaps a little too tightly , as he heard a small yelp && grimace follow . remus opened his mouth to try && apologise , but instead what escaped him was a soft cry as a wave of agony ripped through him . his head dipped down && he tried not to scream , biting into his forearm as HARD as he could that he felt blood pool in his mouth .

// @altruiisms // wanted a werewolf thing