#always annoyed

[rangraiza]

[cassandracalin]

I’m really not! 

[venomousgirl17]

Surely I must be chemically unbalanced to be this angry all the time.

[venomousgirl17]

I think I’d rather jump into an active volcano than have to answer one more person’s question about when am I getting engaged after they hear my brother has proposed to his girlfriend.

[pickledxdonutx]

I constantly feel caught in the middle. Now another person is added. Stop complaining to me about the other, stop yelling at me about the other, stop calling the other names, stop expecting me to take side. The more I fall silent, the more you are losing me. I am feeling more and more alone in this, I have no one. Everyone is against each other and I fear there will be no turning back after this and who knows what will happen.

[pickledxdonutx]

i would really appreciate it if i had a partner who was emotionally mature - or emotionally equal maybe? wouldnt take things so personally when I need space, or when other people act a certain way. ughhhh its so much and put so much strain on me.

[pickledxdonutx]

there are so many pieces of this puzzle that I can't seem to grasp, and maybe I don't want to.

I go over the scenario in my mind maybe 300 times a day and each time I cannot decide what I would want to say to you. Would I even want to say anything to you? Or just run and hide? Would I want you to know I was there? Would any outcome feel satisfying? Could there ever be closure?

I can't land on what feeling I would express to you first, if I even had the courage to speak to you. Is it anger? fear? sadness? hurt? resentment? love? confusion? or maybe take a complete turn and share a happy experience and let you see my light?

No matter what I allowed you to see, would you even care? What would your response be? Would I feel comfortable with your response?

[pickledxdonutx]

I keep having nightmares.

The themes typically surround the feeling of being alone, trapped, and death.

The most recent one I had was about me drowning the the ocean. There was a storm. I was alone. That is all I can remember.

The one from earlier this week was full of panic and fear, I was running through an abandoned hospital and all the doors were locked. I kept encountering the apathetic doctor I experienced in real life - and in the nightmare I had to keep witnessing someone I loved die and there was nothing I could do.

So often I will wake up in the middle of the night sweating or in a panic after a nightmare. Sometimes I will be screaming, most of the time I can't remember what happened in the nightmare after I wake up.