ununtitled

Give me all you got - I can take it

[pickledxdonutx]

omg omg omg omg this cant be happening

im so afraid you're going to see all of me, or see more of me and then understand more...and want to leave....not like me anymore

i dont have control anymore

[pickledxdonutx]

why did i randomly remember the gas on the cornor from your house?

[pickledxdonutx]

i shouldnt have to emotionally baby you constantly. i already do literally everything else. I'm tired. you do something for once. get over yourself. no wonder you lost me.

[pickledxdonutx]

ew why is this coming up

[pickledxdonutx]

well i hate this, it's the same every single fucking year. i dont know when I keep hurting myself and getting my hopes up. I need to come up with more creative excuses this year.

[pickledxdonutx]

i feel like i get punished the second i feel comfortable to take an extra inch, then it's like....NOPE

[pickledxdonutx]

i dont know how long it will take me to learn i lose people when i have an opinion on something, or a strong a opinion. if im not neutral or positive or i say something thats "too much" people wont respond and they back away from me. it's so damaging. it happens all the time, i havent met anyone who hasnt done this. I cant understand. i'm always expected to show up, stay, and accept people but no one can support me at all or allow me emotional space for anything

[pickledxdonutx]

everything feels so brittle

[pickledxdonutx]

what are these mind games??? that is complete manipulation and im terrified to open up to you or even open my mouth about anything at all. we all have to bow down to you

[pickledxdonutx]

hhoooooooolyyyyyy fuuuuuckinngggg shit

[pickledxdonutx]

oooohhhh fuck. that is NOT good

[pickledxdonutx]

I think you are a giant piece of shit. I know exactly what you did, and you know exactly what you did and what you're doing. Do you know your impact on others? No, and you don't care. You just stopped. like it was nothing.

[pickledxdonutx]

why would you ask me that? completely caught me off guard

[pickledxdonutx]

these memories feels so far away

my feelings are hollow

my heart feels numb

makes me sick to my stomach

isolation and loneliness has always been a constant in my life and my only companion

[paperlogic]

[pickledxdonutx]

im so alone in this world

no one notices

no one cares

everyone is just here for themselves and how i can serve them

[pickledxdonutx]

i feel like my life is falling apart