05/12/14 - Rockstar
Sometimes life punches you in the face. Sometimes, life punches you in the face repeatedly. And sometimes, life just beats you down until you can barely find the willpower to stand up again.
The past few months, it's felt like every action I made, every course I pursued... it turned to failure, and only served to make me think that I, in turn, was a failure.
Today, after everything, I got an email that, at this point, I know oh-too-well. Another rejection. Another lost opportunity. Because I wasn't good enough. Because I couldn't rise to the challenge.
Or, at least, that's how I felt about it for most of the day. Until just a few minutes ago, actually. I'd spent the day feeling like it was time to throw in the towel; I'd been dealt one too many sucker punches to the gut by life, and I was ready to take a breather and sit out a round or two. A few of my friends tried to cheer me up, but it didn't really work... Nothing they said could get through.
But then, I turned to music. It's easy to forget, sometimes, how powerful music can be. But it is.
I went to Spotify, and I turned on a song I've been really into, lately... "Rockstar", by A Great Big World. And, something about the lyrics... It reawakened a bit of the spark I thought I lost today. It reminded me that just because we face trials in our life, we can't let our failures define us... we have to let how we build off of those failures define us instead.
One day, I want to be a showrunner. I know that inside, but sometimes, when the world gets rough, it's hard to remember what I spend so much time fighting for. But, listening to this song... it reminded me that sometimes, we just have to do what we're born to do.
Sorry for how stupid that all probably sounds. It's been a long day. But, thanks for reading :).