I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a terrible person. I'm sorry for all of the times I apologize and I'm sorry that all I can do is say that I'm sorry. All of this is just like a math problem, it has a solution, but dear god it is all but simple. An event that is distasteful to me occurs and I immediately cast my attention to my surroundings, and all I can see are a series of flat meaningless images before my eyes. In reality however, everything around me is pretty fucking extraordinary and bustling with life. I know this. But I lose track of the idea a lot. All it takes is an unpleasant occurrence. It's like a robot suddenly getting turned off. I lose the ability to understand people and their emotions, and the skill taught from birth involving conveying my own emotions. This makes me seem like I don't care about anyone or anything. What is left of my mind drifts away on an unstable boat which then encounters a tidal wave and is then instantly engulfed. Literally speaking, on the exterior I seem brain-dead, even though my mind is actually all over the damn place. I'm lost and I cannot quite comprehend what is going on, what is wrong, and why I can't fix anything.In turn, I mistreat those around me, to sum this all up. So dear, that is why, in my head, it is anything but a simple solution. In my head, 2 plus 2 does not equal 4 because in my head, I was just asked to recite the answer, but I cannot, because I haven't got a clue how to solve this simple equation.