#alyx update

[spooniealyx]

In case anyone's paying attention, sorry it's been so long. Things haven't been great. Riding the depression rollercoaster still, waiting on a referral for a second opinion regarding my probable Crohn's, fighting with my insurance for the second opinion on spinal surgery, and now my back pain has settled into my pelvis and sacroiliac joints. I move and feel things popping back there. So yeah. Haven't much felt like hopping on here to talk.

Spending this evening miserably ill. Tis the season for allergies, and mine have given me a sinus cold, my stomach is acting up because of it, and I'm in so much pain I can't stand up straight. (There's a gay joke in there, but make it yourselves, I'm too tired lol) Trying to at least drink my juice, even if I don't finish dinner. Gotta stay hydrated with how much I've been on the toilet.

In non-health news, my roommate and I got chicks! She's got three, and I fell in love with the cochin bantam chicks, so she got me two. If anyone's interested, I'll post pics. We've had them for a week now, and their little peeps just make me smile no matter how bad my day is.

And that's the Alyx news. Just spending time trying to pretend I'm not in pain or feeling half dead, and being a chicken tender! I swear I'll try to update this blog more often, but I really can't make any promises. I have been so low spoons for so long I don't remember what it feels like to have any. But I'll try! Thanks for reading, y'all. Take care of yourself, hydrate, eat if you can, and remember putting your needs first is not selfish, it's self-care.

[spooniealyx]

It's been a while. I'm sorry. Things haven't been great. Colonoscopy turned up nothing other than inflammation in my stomach. I'm getting a pill camera for my small intestine, but my GI isn't super hopeful. I've been yanked off the naproxen I've been taking for almost 2 years (yeah, I *know* it's bad for my stomach, don't tell me), which means that my back is worse. Tylenol doesn't touch it. I can barely walk, everything from the base of my ribcage down is in constant, intense pain. It's making my migraines return. And the only painkiller my doctor is willing to prescribe right now is tramadol, so I can't even take it every day. At least I'm in talks for scheduling a surgery consult in a city 6 hours away. God, I hope to hell they can do a zoom call.

In better news, I've gotten more fish since my last post. Now up to three fishtanks! Getting a better light and glass lid for my bathroom betta, and a great filter for the new fish. Been able to eat a bit better, and I'm definitely getting enough sleep. Gabapentin knocks me on my ass.

My roommate's cats have been more snuggly with me lately. I think they know I don't feel well.

And that's it! I'll try to keep updating, but between appointments, medication increases/additions, and generally feeling awful, it's difficult to want to keep posting bad news.

[spooniealyx]

The day after Thanksgiving.

Yesterday, I was thankful for my friends and found family who have helped and supported me through this last year as things started getting really bad. I neglected to be thankful for the relatively pain free day. My roommate and I decided to cook a mini Thanksgiving dinner, which was delicious! Since we're both spoonies, we opted for chicken breasts instead of turkey, and with my food requirements, the only sides were potatoes, cranberry sauce (jellied and from a can, yum!), and stuffing. Best dinner I've had for the holiday, honestly. Great food, better company, it was a wonderful day.

Barely slept last night. First it was my back hurting too much, probably from sitting up so long to help cook. Then my stomach took over and hasn't let up one bit. Almost stayed in bed today, because it's just too much pain to be standing. Worth it for the holiday yesterday? I really don't know. But I hope this doesn't happen again next month for the solstice/Christmas.

Gonna eat as cleanly as I can today and try to get rid of some of this pain. Hope everyone's having a good post-holiday day today!

[queenalyx]

my brain is cooking up some crazy shit rn i canNOT be letting these thoughts flourish

[spooniealyx]

Hey y'all. Haven't been around much lately. Pain has been really awful, need to appeal my disability decision, but on the bright side I'm getting scoped Monday morning! I gotta go get tested for covid Friday morning, and need to call my GI about the prescription stuff I need to be taking before my scopes. I don't have the prescriptions yet, and my pharmacy hasn't heard anything from her office, either. So yay anxiety inducing call.

My bathroom betta buddy will be getting a snail friend soon, just need to get their tank water to something not so dangerous, and get most of the saltwater treatment Merlin needed out of his tank. The unintended free snails (we got bladder snails on one of our plants for the big tank, oops) just laid eggs this morning, too, so give it a week and there will be snabies (snail babies)! I'm excited, roommate is not. 😂

Hoping I get a diagnosis of something after my scopes are done. We will see what Monday brings.

As a side note, since my disability claim was rejected (because yay US government), a friend convinced me to attempt a gofundme to try to get a computer so I can do things with my friends. Link is below!

Help Alyx socialise, organized by Alyx Shade

Hello, I'm Alyx, a disabled queer person. Almost two years ago, I sprained my back on the job due to su… Alyx Shade needs your support for H

[spooniealyx]

Still waiting to see what the neurosurgeon says about doing surgery, but at least I got my x-ray results! They're totally normal, so the tech scared me for nothing. It's great news though, I really didn't want another thing wrong with my body.

Increased gabapentin again today, and I might as well be stoned for all the good I am. Eating everything in sight and craving pickles. (No, I'm not pregnant. 😂) I need the nutrition though, so I can't complain. Better than not being able to eat because I'm nauseous! My latest joke is that I'm essentially a toddler: all I do is eat, sleep, and poop. Hoping things settle down at some point.

Been a good day so far, despite all that. My roommate and I got a new fish yesterday, and he seems to be settling in well. He's in the quarantine tank for now; we've had some major issues with fish just going straight into the main tank. I named him Merlin!

That's freshly home from Petco. We will see what the other fish think of him in a couple weeks.

And that's the Alyx update for today! Or, well, at least for this morning. Pain is slightly more bearable today, and I'm assuming that's the increased gabapentin. That or I'm just too out of it to notice!

[spooniealyx]

Been helping my roommate, who's also a spoonie, build her new PC the last couple days. Lots of lifting, bending, and sitting. No naps. I am exhausted. I am in pain.

I've been able to eat again, which is nice, but I leaned up tonight to eat and my intestines just started feeling full of broken glass again. I thought I was done with this. I don't know how I'm still functioning.

Planned out my computer stuff today, in case I ever actually get on disability. Need to try to remember to call my worker again and see if she's called my doctor about my scans yet, or if I need to ask her yet again. It's been five months of trying to get her to do this. I just want to be able to try to game with my friends. To do something, anything, besides lay on the couch on my phone, waiting for anyone to text me.

Maybe my roommate will win the lottery and that will give us more money than we can ever need. It's worth dreaming about!