Hi! I was wondering what your thoughts were on Buffy being in heaven. Do you think it was just a coincidence that she wound up in a heavenly dimension or do you think it was supposed to be a more traditional kind of heaven, where she was a good person, so she got to go there? I've never really been sure what their intentions were with that, so I'm always interested to hear other peoples opinions
I think this is actually a really interesting question because I’ve never heard the same answer twice in regards to this, and I’ve been told I have an interesting perspective on this, so I’ll jump right into it.
I’m not a religious person, so totally pushing religion off the table, I think what Buffy did at the end of season 5 was a selfish choice, and here’s why. The group really starts to fragment in season 6, and that’s mostly because of the tensions they felt when Buffy wasn’t there. I think Buffy herself felt the pressure of everything, she knew that she was the glue holding it all together and she was tired of fighting. Not to mention Spike, who she kissed as a thank you for not revealing the information about Dawn. I think at that point she had just started to have feelings for him, but couldn’t allow herself to really admit that to anyone, let alone herself, because at least with Angel she could argue she had a soul. With Spike she couldn’t, she’d lose all her friends and it would be much too confusing - basically it was too much, not just with Spike but keeping up these “fronts” for everyone else, being strong, being the protector, being the one that always saved the day and she wanted out, whether she recognized it or not.
Because, quite frankly, it could have been Dawn to jump in. What if Buffy had rushed to the top of the tower, Dawn’s back to her as she prepares to jump? Dawn turns around. “Goodbye Buffy.” Buffy’s heart skips in her chest. She takes a step forward and calls Dawn’s name, prepares to run, just as Dawn jumps. She watches, her mouth slack, as Dawn jumps into the hole and fades from existence. After all, Dawn was never shown before, so they could have given her a nice little one-season arc and then Buffy could have run away or become totally unresponsive, feeding into her depression arc in season 6. So that was an option, but I think the main reason Buffy died was because she was so tired of fighting. That’s why she says, “It’s in the blood” and there’s almost a look of relief when she says it, that she can die instead of Dawn. Because maybe she’s tired of fighting. Maybe she doesn’t want to see anyone else die and she would gladly give her life for her sister. Maybe she’s just a little girl who really misses her mom, which is something I don’t think Buffy was completely over yet. I think after season 1, Buffy, deep down, always knew that her line of work would lead to her being killed. That she would eventually have to give her life, and so she goes forward and does it willingly. She sacrifices herself for the rest of the world, subtle selfish motives be damned, and for that she goes to heaven.
Because if there’s a hell dimension, there is probably a heaven dimension, as there can’t be one without the other? But what’s there, we don’t really know. Maybe it’s actually a special Slayer-only dimension, and that’s why the first slayer told her, “Death is your gift.” Because that’s your gift. When you die, you can live a life of peace and no violence. Because as a Slayer, your life is violent. And stressful. Constantly making sure other people don’t die. And Buffy got tired of doing that. She was just worn-out and she just wanted peace. And so she got that. In death, she finally got peace, which can alternatively be described as heaven, the peaceful place you go when you die.
That’s why when Buffy comes back around in season 6, she’s so depressed. Because she was tired of worrying about everyone, and she was thrust back into it again. I was honestly surprised when in Once More With Feeling she says (Dawn’s kidnapped again….must be Tuesday) because although it’s a bit of a funny line, it’s also because it’s so unexpected from Buffy, that saving Dawn is almost like a chore to her, something she has to do but she doesn’t want to.
But she recognizes that suicide is the cowardly thing, mostly through Spike. Why? Because Spike has been there. Remember when Spike tried to stake himself in Xander’s basement, wearing Hawaiian shirts and generally being, as Xander would say, pathetic? Spike couldn’t live the life he was used to living, so he wanted out, but recognized that he couldn’t even do that. So instead he found something else to fight for. ( Vampires, grrr, nasty! Let’s annihilate them, for justice, and for… the safety of puppies…) So not only has he lived through it, but he understood the feeling. He also understood her. Back in 5x07, Fool for Love, he says: The only thing about the dance is, you never get to stop. Everyday you wake up, it’s the same bloody question that haunts you. Is today the day I die? Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later it’s gonna catch you. And part of you wants it… not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you’re just a little bit in love with it. Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. Part of you is desperate to know, what’s it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that’s the secret. Not the punch you didn’t throw or the kicks you didn’t land. She merely wanted it. Every Slayer… has a death wish. Even you. The only reason you’ve lasted as long as you have is you’ve got ties to the world. Your mum, brat kid sister, Scoobies. They all tie you here but you’re just puttin’ off the inevitable. Sooner or later, you’re gonna want it.
A little off topic, but that’s why I get confused when I hear people say that they have no idea why Buffy would turn to Spike for comfort in season 6. Because none of the other Scoobies actually understand her as well as Spike did. Because if she had told them before s6 that she wanted to die, that she had always kind of felt that way since s1, they would be concered yes, because they’re her friends and they all love her, but they wouldn’t have understood why, and there’s no easy way to say what she had to. And that’s part of Buffy’s character: she couldn’t tell them how she ran off after she staked Angel at the end of s2 because Buffy is introspective and wants to deal with her problems herself. Her friends are there for her for the little things, and she knows that, but when something big happens to her, she locks up and keeps it inside.
So I realize I’m getting a bit off topic here, but I think it’s important to analyze Buffy’s motivations as to why she jumped in the first place, and I believe Joss set it up early in s5. Buffy was just a kid when she died back in s1, and thought she had her whole life ahead of her. But now her mom died, quickly, suddenly, and she realizes that she never knows when death will come for her. That she can never really have a normal life because she constantly needs to fight, both physically and mentally, everyday. And that’s why “Death is her gift,” because in exchange for her “services” as Slayer, she does get a gift: peace. Finally, peace, which is what she has wanted all along.