#amazonian life

[pastdueeverything]

What I Learned in the 7th Week of 2019

February has been a force for change and I wanted to get this off my chest.

✦ Seattle and King County are really, really unprepared to handle 6"+ of snow, in a El Niño winter, and should probably beef up because climate change is real af

✦ If you are going to be snowed in for a few days, and subscribe to beauty boxes like Ipsy, Birchbox, Allure, BoxyCharm, gather up all those unused skincare samples and do some research on them, then treat yourself and use them since you won't be out in the sun

✦ The BHO Tangie cartridge by NWCS tastes and smells like grandmas and kerosene

✦ If you have a list of tasks for the day and you come up to one and realize you don't have enough spoons to handle it today, THAT IS TOTALLY NORMAL and bravo for recognizing your limits

✦ When a customer wants to talk you through their Amazon conspiracy theories for 30 minutes, let them. People are...wild

✦ There are hot springs in Yellowstone National Park that can dissolve humans, and that fuckhole in the White House should cannonball into one

✦ I have stretch marks at my hips that are iridescent, light pale blue and lavender with a subtle sheen... They look fucking awesome and I'm kinda considering some tattoo work done to enhance them. That is a HUGE step for me in body confidence

✦ My job isn't what I want to do forever, nor is it something I'm very skilled at, and yet I LOVE IT. Someone asks me to solve a problem, and I solve it. No matter how minute or complex the problem is, there's no issue that you don't have the resources to solve. That says a lot about the culture of Amazon. There's such an amazing scaffold of resources at your disposal, and all Amazonians are empowered to take action and make change, regardless of their level.

✦ I can't wait to wear flats again, I fuckin hate socks so much

✦ Today's GMM was actually Gay Mythical Morning and you can't change my mind (GMM #1484). Proof:

[pastdueeverything]

My southern accent comes out STRONG when I listen to Ear Biscuits all day at work then try to talk to someone.

Y’all rurnt my neutral tone!

[pastdueeverything]

Heckin Renaissance

So I sort-of, okay, I actually abandoned this tumblog thing in the summer of 2014, but I’m back. It’s now December, 2018 and I have moved 3,000 miles across the country from my home town of Chesapeake, VA to Seattle, WA and I’m 6 days away from starting my new career with... yeah, you totally guessed Amazon. WITH AMAZON! I’M AN AMAZONIAN! Damn tat’s cool. Anyway, I’ve had a bit of personal struggle in the last few years, which I’m sure I’ll get into at some point but right now here’s the rundown:

- I’m 35 now. Yeah, it kinda hurts like every morning. My breakfast food is ibuprofen, gabapentin, and some yoga stretches. - I can absoLUTEly confirm the “Seattle Freeze” is 100% real. - IT DOESN’T RAIN HERE MORE THAN ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE US SO STOP SAYING THAT it’s really dry in the summers and I’ve heard like 2 thunderstorms total in the last 18 months. It’s weird, man. - I have re-started my love of Good Mythical Morning. I quit watching it around 2014 and now Link’s hair is....unf. Anyway, I’m rebooting this blog-thing so I can keep track of a few things: what I’m wearing to work, how I feel before and after work each day, and what it’s like to be consumed by a corporate entity that I’ve personally doled out thousands of dollars to in the last decade. Let’s talk about that!