control
I'm terrified of losing control always taut, like a rope pulled between two oxen my breath measured and rhythmic like the thump of a drum on repeat on repeat at night I awaken to the snap of my mind grasping wandering thoughts distraught and disoriented by my momentary loss I cringe at escaped smiles of mischief apologize for soul-shaking laughter as often as soul-shattering tears horrified by my lapse muscles tense with it mind entangled as if I have committed some grievous sin
I wish to unveil my reality relax in my own presence at my own emotion extract from behind these rigid, immobile muscles the me that never surfaces maybe then I could understand how to embrace our flaws
*The above is the latest installment in my Memoirs of an Amoeba Project.