#amy silverberg

[surfeit-of-stoats]

The brain works miracles to protect you, I thought. The brain runs circles around itself. The brain does not want the child to know the parent is unsafe. The world can be unsafe, the child even. But not the parent. The brain hates that!

— First Time, Long Time, Amy Silverberg

[surfeit-of-stoats]

“Is there anything worse than having a family?” one of my students had said, when we were reading Anna Karenina. You were always trying to solve the puzzle of your parents—what they did to you, what they didn’t do.

— First Time, Long Time, Amy Silverberg

[surfeit-of-stoats]

Was there a person in the world who did not feel injured by their childhood? I felt maimed in some elemental way. But I knew this from teaching, and from reading books: so did everybody.

— First Time, Long Time, Amy Silverberg

[surfeit-of-stoats]

Was there anything harder for a parent to do than let their child be themselves? How could something so easy require so much effort? But I understood: It can be like separating the marrow from the bone, freeing someone from your expectations. That was what made things so difficult with The Problem. I expected him to be normal, and he was committed to being himself.

— First Time, Long Time, Amy Silverberg

[surfeit-of-stoats]

I didn’t want to talk about what I did every day. Honestly, I didn’t think I could describe it if I tried. The days passed without my consent. I barely got to look at them. One morning, I kept thinking, I should grab one of my days by the shoulders and look it in the eyes and ask, What’s been happening?!

— First Time, Long Time, Amy Silverberg

[surfeit-of-stoats]

Now I know: People who liked to look like they weren’t trying were often trying very hard.

— First Time, Long Time, Amy Silverberg

[kammartinez]

One-Night Stands with Wild Strangers | Los Angeles Review of Books

Joselyn Takacs interviews Amy Silverberg about her debut novel, “First Time, Long Time.”

[surfeit-of-stoats]

But that wasn’t as good of a story. I see that now, how much I’ve probably twisted things, made them—if not easier—more interesting. Writers aren’t trustworthy. They fold your life inside of themselves, crunch up your secrets with sharp, jagged teeth. They bloody the people who love them.

— First Time, Long Time, Amy Silverberg