2016 IN REVIEW, THANK YOU!
It was a beautiful year! 2016, The year of redemption. The year of blooming. The year of dance. I was not very strong when this year began. Like a pre-mature baby, I struggled to survive my new birth. I say new birth because 2015 left me almost dead. My old self died. She took her own life actually. And then it was also time for the new me to be born. This year started with an acceptance that I am an Olive Tree, in God's house. No matter the season and no matter the breakage. I will grow back. Like phoenix, I will rise again. Or let's just say I may have 9 lives like cats. Only that I am not a cat, I am batman. And this is not a sad story! God literally saved my from an almost fatal accident, heartbreak, loss and suicidal attempt. I look back and see, God didn’t give up on me even when I did. I would have missed everything beautiful if I had given up on me. That’s about redemption. I was lucky that when the year began, I had love holding my hand, walking me on. Telling me the only chains holding me back are the ones on my mind. Love also told me I could break them, and I did. When you are born afresh and born anew, you have the privilege to adapt new habits, follow your basic instincts and revel in who you really are, not what the world makes you. Love made me unlearn almost everything that wasn't serving me right. I found my human. That is not just a highlight of the year but highlight of my life. It will always be. I am blooming because of love. I started writing again. I started blogging again. Somehow I found courage to perform the poetry which I have been writing for years but kept confined in the pages of my secret diaries. I was always given a lot of pain, or a lot of joy. I was made to see the extremes and I wondered what was the whole point? Why always a tear and a smile? And why did I struggle between them. So God taught me the dance. Dancing on the high and low notes, on the ebb and flow of life. This dance gave birth to a lot of poetry and art. Everything I am loved for is actually made up of my sweat and blood, my tears and smiles. Thank you God, for making letting me dance even when I was cracked open 🙂 Like Rapunzel, I used to look out and see the lights from my window. And like her I finally found the courage to go out and touch them. Be it going to Bangalore, volunteering for NYPS and meeting Sarah Kay, the human who turned me into spoken word poet. Or becoming a team with C Joybell C, an author whose words lit up my dark nights, for her upcoming book. I can call 2016 as an year of resting on God's wings as he took me to places. I have found new friends. No, I have found old friends in new faces. I have found people like poetry, like cosmic family. The one's I'd like to hold onto for the rest of my life. I have found my lost summer and sunshine. I have found everything that is mine. Also, 2016 is the year I found the courage to put my story in a book hoping for it to light the way for others. The book is almost ready and I intend to present it to you in first quarter of 2017. There's a major announcement coming your way for January 2017, which I will tell you real soon. I can't let 2016 go by, without a tribute poem so here it is: You are leaving But don't go just as yet! I have half baked cookies In the oven And, umm... this.. err Something in my heart Can you stay back to have a taste of both ? Here, sit down. Do you remember? When I was given to you What a piece of mess I was? There were more stitches In my body than bones More scars than skin More breakage than design How did you even recognise my Original make up? Because I remember I wasn't suppose to last as long as to knock your door But God picked me sewed me up Gently pushed me into your arms And yours arms caught me I stumbled my way to you But you received me like you were ready to hold me for years. Safe. I learned this word in your embrace. Your house was full of mirrors And I was the least beautiful Thing they reflected But you insisted that I looked at myself anyway Do you remember how the gravity Pulled my head down? it almost sunk to my knees And you said It's not what's outside It's what I hold within So you washed my hair Picking out years of burden You said there was no need of The weight I carry in there Straightening out the waves of sadness which I braided on my head for years You undid that braid My hair opened And for first time I lifted my head up. You nursed my wounds They were many... right? I was scared you will run out of first aid And you sure did ! But the milk and the honey The turmeric and your touch Rained on me Healing isn't the word Restoration neither You unpacked me You cracked open the cocoon And for first time since childhood I saw in the mirrors of your house Who I truly was. You weren't done with me still So you taught me, all over again The art of carrying myself on my own feet and how to grow a backbone in the place of my worn out wishbone I also learned the art of holding my head High You clapped when I walked After years of crawling As if it was my first walk! Then you opened your wings! You were magnificent! You set on a flight And took me to places So great! Places... I deemed unapproachable my whole life , People thought how truly great I was to reach at such heights... remember? But we both knew that there was no greatness in me Except trusting you Except resting on your wings Except submitting Except letting go of the struggle and finally allowing myself to float As you carried me to clouds Yes... how can I forget ? You taught me faith was possible! Loving was divine! And everything looked pure in your presence... Now, You are packing... You are leaving And suddenly that broken Damaged girl You first held Has raised her voice From deep corners on my heart She wants to say "Thank you!" Wow... suddenly I don't feel that Umm, you know... err Something I was feeling in my heart... ? Ting! Oh I guess the cookies are ready too! Hey! I'm sorry I made it really long I should have just kissed you! And you would know all of this But you are leaving And I couldn't let you go Without saying... "2016, I will remember you, as the year I learned that wild flowers aren't panted. They are called upon where they are needed. They might have to struggle their way out of the cracks, but once they do, soft and gentle little wild flowers are strong enough to take rock solid buildings down. Oh dear 2016... I will remember you as the year I learned the strength of my gentleness and beauty of my being." You may leave But I won't forget your face. Your face, that was my last hope. In the final moments of the year I want to thank everyone who stood by me, who didn’t give up on me, and who gave me enough water and sunlight to grow. I will continue to bring you fruit and shade. Let's dance our way into 2017. Happy New Year! It is already starting with a bang for yours truly 🙂 She hopes the same for you! Love and Light, Amy