Left Unsaid- "Just A Man"
A/N: Saw this prompt in tumblr and thought that I would take a whack at it: "Red falling for Jiminy when he was still a cricket." I forgot who had mentioned it and I apologize. I hope this makes up for it. Now, how to approach it…?
Red's eyes flashed silver by the light of the full moon. Her red hood hugged tight around her body in an attempt to make sure that the wolf would stay at bay in the early moonlit hours. She would run soon enough, but she needed just a little more time to make sure she had the wolf under control and it wouldn't rampage through the castle.
It had been at least two years since it had happened. Since she lost Peter to her darker half. The wolf maliciously killed more than once before that, but it had never been one that she had loved so dearly and was so close to. It had also been one year since she lost her mother by her human half while she protected her sister, Snow. Now, she sat in the woods, looking at the moon and tried to find some kind of peace of mind and balance between the monster wolf within and the human monster outside.
The lights of the castle seemed warm and far enough away that she wouldn't cause damage. She wouldn't forgive herself if she caused any kind of damage to Snow or James. They had enough to deal with. They were going to take back their kingdoms and they needed all the help that they could get against Regina and King George. The two dictators were bad on their own right, but together they were too strong and too ruthless.
Red was adamant that Granny stayed in the castle for the next couple of nights during wolf's time. Out in the woods she knew that there were rabbits and small game that her wolf side would love to hunt in the nights ahead. There should be no reason for humans to be anywhere near her. No one would be harmed. She was in control, but she didn't want Granny to see just how much.
She shivered just slightly even through her hood. It was nights like these that she was grateful for the fur that covered her in wolf form.
She spun and gasped at the close voice. She would have heard the footsteps. How did they get so close? Her eyes scanned the trees and her close surroundings, until her eyes settled on a floating, green body.
"Jiminy…" she sighed and put a hand to her chest to slow her beating heart.
"What are you doing so far out here?" he asked and landed on one of her hands that she held out to him.
"Snow never told you?" she asked and tilted her head to the side.
"I never talk of another without their presence," he explained and then rethought it, "Unless it is someone that must be dealt with. It is rude otherwise."
"This is something of a ritual for me during the full moon," she looked up at the large orb once again and turned to her small friend, "Why don't you go back in?"
"I wouldn't want to leave you alone out here," he shook his head.
"Then you may not like what you may see," she warned him. She had many friends that had run once they had learned of her other form. The only ones who had not were Granny, who knew of the change to begin with, and Snow who only wanted to help her friend.
"Maybe, maybe not," he nodded in understanding, "but life is full of atrocities or un-pleasantries. I would be a monster if I let you face that alone. Given, I can't do much in a small form, but company does wonders."
Her eyes softened at his words, "You are a true gentleman, Jiminy."
He would have blushed if he could and coughed into his cricket hand, "I try my best. It's one thing that I am happy that I retained from my time as a human man."
"It's hard to think that you were ever a human," she smiled at her friend, "You seem too special to be just a man."
"Thank you for the compliment," he bowed quickly.
"Well, if you are so sure about staying with me, I should get on with it," she sighed and put him on a high branch on the closest tree.
She pulled the clasp of the hood and let it pool over a fallen log. She closed her eyes as they began to change into a gold color and her body fell forward. Her form changed to that of a beautiful, large wolf. She howled as her head reared up and the change was complete. With a shake she settled into the new form and felt the ground of the woods pliant under her pads. Her mind settled and she huffed, thankful she was still in control even in her wolf form. She looked up toward the tree where Jiminy still sat, his mandibles open in shock.
"I told you that you may not like what you see," she growled up at the branch, sure that he wouldn't understand her.
"Don't take my surprise for distaste, Red," he flew down from the branch and looked her in her golden eyes which widened at his words, "You still look quite beautiful and I can still tell that it is you."
"You understand me…" she looked shocked at her whole head tilted to the side.
"Of course," he nodded still floating by her head, "I am a cricket after all. I assume that is the reason I can talk with both human and animal."
"No one has ever heard my voice in this form," she sat back on her haunches and stared at him as he landed on the woodland floor, still staring at her, "Much less listened to me."
"Then I am honored to be the first," he bowed with a flourish and her tail wagged in response.
"Jiminy…" she started and leaned forward to push her nose toward him and looked him in his large eyes, "Have you ever been on a run under the full light of the moon?"
"I can't say that I have," he shook his head.
"Well, here is your chance," she shifted her eyes to her back, "Climb on and hold on tight."
"I couldn't," he shook his hands at her.
"I insist," she pushed at him, her nose under his legs and tossed him on her back. Before he could fully recover, she howled out a loud, "Hold on!"
Her feet leapt as if they had a mind of their own. She felt a pull on her fur around her neck, where she was sure her passenger was still hanging on. She laughed as she bounded through the trees and jumped over small gorges and streams. After a few minutes, she didn't hear anything from her friend until his voice hit her ears over the wind.
"Red!" he said loudly and gripped tighter to her fur.
"How are you doing, Jiminy?" she asked a little concerned for her friend. She had never had anyone on a run with her except for the time with her mother and her pack.
"I hate to ask…" he paused and she thought that he would ask her to stop or slow down. Then she was reminded to never assume anything with her small friend, "Can you go any faster?"
She grinned and her canine teeth shone brightly in the strong moonlight, "Just watch me."
Red ran for the good part of the early night; her wolf form jumping and leaping from stone to woodland floor. Her passenger and friend laughing with her in the fun. About half way through the night she had trotted to a small pool of water that had formed from a slow draining water fall. She lay down next to the water and lapped up some of the refreshing drink. She felt Jiminy slide off her back and he stumbled once he hit the ground.
"So… what did you think?" she asked with a wolf smirk.
"That was the most exhilarating experience of my life," he said in truthfulness. He leaned over the water and scooped some to his own mouth.
"I knew it," she said proudly and rolled onto her back. She rolled in the lush grass and looked up at the full moon above.
"Is that what you do on full moon nights?" he flew over her and blocked the image of the moon, "You run?"
"And hunt if the mood strikes me," she turned to her side and let him land on the ground, "But I fell sated for now. No hunt tonight."
"Are you going to come out tomorrow night?" he asked.
She nodded, "I only get wolf's time two or three times a month. As much as Granny doesn't like it, I need to stay in touch with my wolf side. It's part of who I am, even though it makes me a monster."
"You are no monster, Red," Jiminy placed a small hand on her paw.
"You have no idea what I have done when I am like this, Jiminy. I have done horrible things," she whined deep in her throat that reminded her of a pup more than a wolf.
"Then tell me," he sat in the grass just in front of her and blinked up at her patiently.
"You definitely won't like what you will hear," she shook her head and laid her ears back in worry, "I don't want to lose a friend as good as you to my past deeds."
"You did not run from me when I told you mine," he reminded her, "I will not run from you. I refuse to. Ever."
Her ears flicked forward and she laid her head before him, "Why are you so good to me, Jiminy?"
"Because you deserve it, even if you don't believe you do," he smiled sadly and patted her on her muzzle, "Now, tell me."
The rest of the night she spent telling him her story. How she had lost her parents to hunters, only to realize much later that her mother was alive and well. How she had killed the only man that she had ever loved and a year later how she had killed her mother to protect the only family that hadn't run or shamed her. She told him of the countless farmers or hunters that had fallen under her jaws before she knew what she was. Every name or memory that she had she would look to Jiminy who would only nod for her to continue. He was patient and kind and reserved no judgment. Just an ear that she didn't know she had needed so badly.
"And now, here I am, neither human or wolf… just me," she said sadly and huffed into the lush grass she had settled into.
Jiminy stood and stared her in the eyes, "And that's all you will ever need to be."
In that instance, Red felt something in her heart fill and warm the rest of her- something that she hadn't felt in over two years. She furrowed her brows and looked at Jiminy Cricket in a whole new light. He may be a cricket, but he was the only man that had ever listened to her. He didn't judge, didn't run… only listened and reassured her that she was enough. And she believed him.
"Thank you, Jiminy," she said in a whisper.
"It's my pleasure, Red," he patted the side of her muzzle and looked at the high moon, "I never noticed how stunning the moon was. I guess it all depends on who you share it with."
"That's true," she nodded and looked at even the moon in a different light. Tonight, it seemed brighter. Almost more real. She flicked her eyes back to the cricket in front of her and a whine fell from her without her consent.
"What's wrong?" he asked in haste.
"Just…" she shook her head, "… sometimes, Jiminy, you make me wish you were still human."
"Just a man?" he asked with a resigned tone.
"You were never just a man," she reminded him and tilted her head back to motion him to get on, "Let's get back to my hood and we can get back to the castle to get some sleep."
Red kept her eyes on the trees and rocks that she leapt through and around, locked on the scent of her hood in the distance. Her mind though, thought of the cricket on her back that made her feel like Peter was back again; like he had never left… except that this wasn't the same. It was so much better. It confused her, but made her feel safe, protected. Because if he knew it or not, Jiminy Cricket now protected the most fragile part of her.
On the way to the castle, Jiminy sat on Red's shoulder and leaned against the outside of her red hood, now knowing its true purpose. She hummed a more upbeat tune as they walked through the halls. As she stopped in front of Gepetto's door she held a hand up to her shoulder and held the cricket in front of her.
"Thank you for running with me tonight," she said to him with a smile.
"Thank you for the invitation," he nodded back and bowed toward her, "I hope that we can do it again tomorrow."
"I will be at the same spot," she nodded in agreement. She suddenly leaned forward and gave him a peck on the top of his head, careful of his antennae. The kiss was brief and she leaned back quickly, "You have no idea how much it means to me that you listened and were there."
"I-I will always be here for you," he said and flew off her hand to land on the small perch built into the door for him, "Until tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Jiminy," she nodded with a small blush upon her cheeks. She walked down the hallway and turned into her room at the far end.
Jiminy went straight into his room and then to the large window, close to where he had made a makeshift bed on the ledge. He looked up at the moon and smiled to himself. He now wondered if he had lived all this time not for Gepetto, but to meet and fall in love with her. A love he knew that could never be.
He still smiled because the time, the years and the consequent pain of her finding love with another was worth it - just knowing her.
But he couldn't help but muse, "If only I was just a man…"
