#anagetsfit

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I’ve gotten a crazy amount of new followers since January, so here’s a psa: if you don’t want to see these posts you can block the tag anagetsfit

SO as some of you know, I had some stomach issues that prevented me from being able to work out like I want to because too much movement made me sick. It wasn’t a bug, or anything, but the churning from jumping and running made my stomach ache. Like... shaking up a can of soda but without the spewing. Horrible imagry I am SO SORRY FOR THAT.

WELL I’m starting again, even though things aren’t totally settled. I’m not content just sitting around rn, and I need the physical work to push me to better things.

SO today was a 20s plank (a far cry from the 60s I was able to do a couple of months ago, creys) 50 squats, and 10 of these new arm exercises that screw them I am gonna hate this (not really, I like workout ache, it motivates me once I stop moving)

I’m also gonna buy a scale. I won’t use it yet. I’m still... afraid of it? idk if that is the right word. I am well aware of my weight because of the doctor appointments I have decently regularly. perhaps “afraid of the potential for obsession i can feel growing in the pit of my soul” is more correct. But I am going to buy one. I need to get over this fear, or the obsession with not obsessing will be just as bad and produce the same results. 

2015 is a year for self-improvement. Let’s do this.

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Sorry for no read more because mobile but I heard something I really needed to hear today: boss said I look like I am trimming up just a bit already and Idk if it is really true but the last couple of days I have been ready to give up and yeah I really needed to hear that.

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Still struggling with my protein intake, but getting better. Spoke to someone vegan about how they got their protein in a day, and got some new ideas to add, and we will see this week. Also found a fish oil supplement I don't hate, a definite bonus. Water intake is up from one liter to two, and I am pushing to up it to three this week. Next week I am also going from doing planks from the knees to doing them from the toes, and I am a little nervous.... but while from the knee is not easy, holding it for a full minute is not the challenge it was before o started.

Anyone doing a fitness program should really record their scores day to day. I have impressed myself with my improvement this week in spite of my slip ups with the occasional snack and one cheat meal, as well as having skipped a day of working out. On top of that I have less of what I call "morning mind fog" than I used to, I am forgetting words less (or at least remembering them sooner) and just overall feel better. And that is just week 1.

Longer post than I intended but there it is.

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I told my coach I was craving a hot fudge brownie with a big scoop of ice cream and she told me to go have strawberries and bananas and yogurt. Ugh ugh ugh diets suck.

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Thank you all for all the lovely comments and support! They mean a lot, and I look at them at my low points. I've considered printing them out and putting them on my wall so I can look at them when I consider giving up. 

All things considered, I'm doing well. Well, of course, meaning I have not stopped, I have been mostly good about food, and I have lied to no one --myself or others --about what I am insecure about when I workout.

Today I confessed to my coworker that I can't workout in front of my husband --skinny, relatively fit, and though he adores me in whatever shape I come in there is something about... jumping and rolling and leaning and lunging with all this jiggle... I can't do it.  Which shocks me --I have never had an issue being the fat one (or one of two fat ones) in fitness classes as an adult. But I guess there is a certain kind of anonymity in that. He is fully supportive, considering taking on my diet with me to help, and greets me post-workout with water, a snack (and not a cookie, like the first day. gotta love him.) and my inhaler, in case I have needed it. 

But on a good note, I haven't, not yet. And really... That's more than I expected out of myself. Heck, minus some belly getting in the way of stretches (ugh ugh ugh) and some strength and flexibility loss since hs I have been able to do more than I thought I'd be able to, if not as much as I wanted.

And as a final note: burpees suck.

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I'd update about fitness today as promised, but I am afraid to stand up to go to my computer to use a read more just yet

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You go! I know anxiety sucks but you can do this c:

mckatsims replied to your post:[[MOR]was better about calories today, but I did...

Eh, personally I wouldn’t weigh myself. My weight brings me a lot of anxiety, to the point I’m obsessing over numbers. To me, how my clothes fit is a better indication. If the measuring and weighing is going to cause undue stress, don’t do it. *hugs*

Thank you both! I did the measurements and pictures but the idea of buying a scale makes me wanna cry so I won't do that. It helped to not take them in the same room as my husband, as bad as that sounds, but I took them and it's done until the middle of January.

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the program wants me to take all my measurements and I am not sure how I feel about that. Moreover pictures... In bra and underwear, or a bikini. and to buy a scale. I guess this is all part of it, but the idea of going to the store and picking up a scale makes me anxious... but they want you to see progress so you remain motivated. 

I won't let anxiety get in the way of this. Weight is the cause of the scale-and-measuring-tape anxiety, and I will not fall from it. I can do this. I can do this.