A New Beginning #16: Burns
Masterlist | AO3
Content: Recovery, burns, vampire whumpee, childhood trauma, multiple caretakers, non-sexual nudity, wounds/injuries, PTSD/trauma, begging, blood [for the sake of feeding].
-
Carlos was insistent on cooking the two humans breakfast this morning. Neither of them could figure out why until the vampire excitedly skipped into the room with a plate of freshly made pancakes in his hand.
“These look incredible,” Adam commented as the vampire set the plate down in between them. He glanced up at him and smiled, already serving himself two. “What’s the occasion? You tryna butter us up before you tell us you did something terrible?”
Much to his surprise, Carlos’ eyes widened and he rushed to defend himself. “No! Of course not, sir. I would never misbehave.”
While he used one hand to serve himself his own food, Ryker reached out to squeeze Carlos’ arm. “You’re all good, man. He was just joking.”
“Oh.” Carlos blinked a few times. “I’m… I’m not sure I understand jokes all that much, sir. I’m sorry, but- but about the pancakes; I found a recipe book while I was looking through the bookshelf last night!”
He seemed so proud of himself as he hurried off to grab said book from the kitchen. The humans watched him go, both with a forkful of pancake in their mouth already, and smiled when he came back holding a large recipe book that had been created and given to the boys back when they first left home. It was old and the pages were wrinkled by now, but it’d been unbelievably helpful when they had no idea how to cook.
“I wanted to practice my reading,” the vampire admitted as he held the book out towards them. “I never got to do much of it, back, uhm… before. Then I found this, and it has pictures in it and the recipes are very fun! It even shows you how to put smiley faces on the pancakes.”
Adam grinned. “I saw that! These are delicious, Carlos. You get better and better every time you cook.”
“Really?” Carlos visibly lit up. “Thank you! I know I am not the best at expressing my feelings, but I really want to show you how grateful I am to be living here with you both, and Murphy and Luca. So… uhm, consider my meals appreciation gifts?”
Using his foot, Adam pulled one of the spare dining chairs towards him and patted the seat with a smile. “I’m glad you’re happy. Come sit with us for a bit? I actually have something I wanna talk to you about. You’re not in trouble,” he made sure to assure him. The worried look on Carlos’ face dissipated and he obediently did as he was told, still holding the book close to him. “Have we ever told you about my sisters?”
“I don’t think so.” Carlos shook his head, fiddling with the corners of his book as he watched the two men eat. Ryker smiled over at him for a brief moment while Adam talked, cheeks stuffed with pancake in a way that made the vampire grin.
“They’re very nice. Sorta the reason we were able to leave and get on our feet in the first place. They bought us our plane tickets and gave us some old furniture until we were able to get some of our own. Even paid our rent for a while so we could find jobs.”
“That’s so nice,” Carlos whispered, glancing down at his lap. “Sometimes I forget that you and Ryker aren’t the only people in the world who don’t want to hurt others.”
Adam gave him a small smile, reaching out to squeeze his knee. “Well, they’d like to plan a trip down here for a few days. Ryker and I have already decided that we want them to come, but as you’re a part of the family now, we wanted to get your permission.”
“You don’t have to ask me, sir. It’s your house.”
“You live here, too, man,” Ryker was quick to point out. After another small forkful of pancake, he set his knife and fork down on the plate and cleared his throat. “Your opinion matters to us.”
There was a small pause as Carlos thought about it a little deeper. Both Adam and Ryker resumed eating as he did so, and it was only when he looked up as an indication that he was ready to talk again that they both diverted their attention back to him once more.
“I appreciate your consideration,” he whispered, his voice returning to that small, timid one he often used. “I don’t think it will easy, but I don’t want you to miss out on seeing the people you love because of me. So, let them stay? They can even take my bedroom if they wanna. I can sleep on the couch.”
“That’s very kind of you,” Ryker commented, reaching out to squeeze Carlos’ shoulder, “but they’ll most likely take the couch. It folds out into a bed and they’ll be bringing their own bedding.”
Carlos offered the two humans a smile. “Okay. I can’t wait to meet them, then. Will you tell me when they’re coming?”
“Of course,” Adam nodded. “We don’t know all the details just yet but I promise, we’ll let you know when we do. On the off chance that we forget, you are more than welcome to ask again. Sound good?”
Carlos was happy with what had been arranged. As he stood up again and ran his hand over his head, he gave the two humans an enthusiastic nod; resting his free hand on Ryker’s shoulder. The human didn’t hesitate to tilt his head back and smile up at him.
“Yes, sir,” he agreed, the recipe book still held close to his chest. “Sounds good. Thank you for including me in the decision.”
It clearly wasn’t often he got to have a say in matters. Adam had known that, but not to the extent. From what he could tell, Ryker seemed to leave out parts of what Carlos had gone through when they spoke about it. He felt like he was learning something new about Carlos every day, even on the days where the topic of his past didn’t even come up.
He wondered if that’s how Ryker felt about him when they first met.
After another minute or two, Carlos excused himself from the table and left to take a shower, leaving the book he’d so fallen in love with in his spot for someone to put away later on. It was only after he’d left that Ryker reached out to grab his empty plate and cutlery, leaning over the table to press a light kiss to his forehead as he went.
“I don’t know what your schedule is like, but I have next weekend off if you wanna invite them over then?” he suggested over the sound of plates being stacked on top of each other. “There’s a few nice places open during the evenings - we could even take them out for dinner and bring Carlos along.”
Adam couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? He’s not fond of crowds and loud noises - that’s pretty much all restaurants are. It’s not like he can even eat anything.”
“It was just an idea,” Ryker shrugged as he stood up. He picked up the plates and the cutlery before heading off to the kitchen, still talking as he went. “Maybe not a good one, but it was an idea.”
“I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, I just think we might need to pick a place that’s more quiet. Like… I dunno, the park or something. I wanna make sure it’s enjoyable for all of us, not just the humans.”
For a moment, everything was silent apart from the sound of the dishwasher being stacked with dishes. Adam almost began to wonder if he was even going to receive a response, until Ryker finally poked his head out with a smile.
“I know you do. Look, It’s not for another week at least. So, we don’t need to decide on anything right now, yeah?”
Adam considered his words before nodding, absentmindedly tracing small lines into the dining table with his nails. “Yeah. Okay. I guess I’ll send ‘em a message before I leave for work.”
“Sounds good, my love.” Ryker sat back down at the table as he wiped his hands on his jeans. For the life of him, Adam couldn’t understand why he was so against using the many tea-towels they had sitting in the cupboard. He’d done it ever since they got together, and it never failed to confuse him. “What time are you heading off today?”
Adam thought about it for a moment, trying to remember what was on his roster for that week. However, before he could even begin to get the words out, a shrill scream erupted from the bathroom that had both humans jumping out of their seats within seconds.
They only needed to be at the entrance to the hallway to figure out what had happened, and Adam was mortified by what he knew in an instant was his fault.
He hadn’t closed the blinds in the bathroom that morning.
-
Carlos couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt a burn so bad. Much to his relief, it had only been a few seconds, but even such a short amount of time was enough to cause blistering and swelling across his entire front area. His biggest regret out of it all was not wearing clothes to the bathroom. It was just across the hall from his bedroom, so he hadn’t thought it’d be a problem. However, every second he spent in pain was another reminder that he’d been so very wrong.
With a raspy inhale, he pressed his back against the cool wall behind him and tearily glanced up at the humans hurrying down the hallway, forcing himself to swallow any more noises that threatened to escape. He was in so much pain.
He realised after a moment that Ryker had a blood pack and an ice pack in his hands as he knelt down beside him. “Hey, you’re all good, man. It’s- I know you’re in a lot of pain, but this isn’t gonna last more than a few days, yeah? It’s not gonna take weeks to heal anymore.”
That sounded good.
The human pressed the ice pack in his hand against the worst of Carlos’ burns, and he could have sworn he saw him gag a few times at the smell of his burning flesh. It was that or the sight of him, and he wasn’t sure which he preferred.
“Hurts,” he found himself whimpering after a moment. He reached out to grab hold of Ryker’s shirt; struggling to get away from the discomfort of the ice against his skin, and the sweltering heat on his body at the same time. “Hurts. Why does this hurt so much?”
He’d spent so many years trying to desensitise himself to pain. How could a mere month without it be enough to undo all his hard work? He wasn’t supposed to cry. He wasn’t supposed to make noise or complain about it. He was supposed to take it as it came and be good until it stopped.
So why was such a simple rule so hard to follow all of a sudden?
He could see the look of confusion written on Ryker’s face as he struggled to understand the question. He had no idea what part of it was so hard to understand, but the question clearly made no sense to him. He seemed to choose not to respond to it, and instead focused on picking him up in a way that minimised the amount of pain it caused.
Before he knew it, he’d been moved back to his bedroom and set down on the bed, above the covers to avoid irritating his wounds. Having heard the commotion, Murphy was now in the room as well, while Luca had likely gone to hide somewhere more quiet.
Carlos just wanted the pain to end.
“Hey.” Ryker nudged him after putting Murphy on the outside of the door. He offered a small sympathetic smile and held out the blood packet to him. “We bought these a while ago in case you needed some more blood throughout the day. I know you’re in a lot of pain, so perhaps the extra blood’ll help with the healing process?”
“Please,” the vampire practically begged. “Yes please. I’m sorry.”
As soon as it was handed to him, Carlos sank his fangs into the packet and drank the entire thing in one go, ignoring Ryker’s concerned reminders to take it slow before he inevitably choked on it.
Then, once it was all gone, he shakily gave it back to the human sitting beside him and sniffled; rubbing his eyes like a child. “Hurts so much,” he whispered, tilting his head to the side after lying back again so he could look the human in the eye. “It’s so much worse than I remember.”
“I’m sorry.”
There were so many things Carlos wanted to say, and yet he felt like he couldn’t say any of it. It was near impossible to form words with how much everything hurt. Every breath made his skin feel like it was being stretched beyond Its limits, and his hands shook as he held the ice pack against the same wounds Ryker had been before.
“...I don’t want you to be here,” were the first words he spoke after the pain began to settle into a dull throb. He sniffled, watching as the human’s face somehow fell even more. He knew how awful those words must have sounded. He’d heard them more times than he could count, but he truly had no more energy to elaborate. “Please. Please understand, sir.”
Ryker reached out to grasp his hand. “No one did this to you on purpose, Carlos.”
“Please?” Carlos tried again. He sucked in a tight, raspy breath and squeezed Ryker’s hand as best he could; doing his best to ignore the way his body ached in protest at even the small movements he made. “Please go? I don’t want you to see me like this. I don’t…”
Ryker’s confusion only seemed to get a whole lot worse. “It’s not the first time.”
“I know. I didn’t have the choice to stop that from happening, b-but I do now and I want you to go. Please. I’m not mad at you,” he tearily shook his head. “I could never be mad, but if you really say that I’m in charge of my own body and- and that I get to have an opinion, like you and Adam, then you’ll listen to me.”
Granted, Carlos could see him hesitating. He averted his eyes towards his lap rather than at him and started to fiddle with the bottom of his sweatshirt, occasionally chewing on the inside of his cheek. Carlos had never felt worse. Perhaps he just wasn’t meant to make his own requests.
“As long as you’re not mad at me,” the human eventually mumbled as he got out of his seat. “Can I at least send Adam in here to check on you throughout the day? It would make me feel a lot better knowing someone is looking after you.”
“Yes, sir.” He could live with that. “I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
“Done nothin’ wrong. You’re all good.” Ryker bent down a little to affectionately nudge his shoulder. “Feel free to come and hang in the living room when you’re ready, yeah? Everything’ll be shut so you don’t have to worry about the sun.”
Carlos gave him a small nod, already feeling himself reverting back to old habits before he could stop himself. “Yes, sir.”
-
Both Ryker and Adam had originally been planning on going out for lunch that afternoon, but it was an unspoken agreement that neither of them felt like leaving the house anymore. Adam went to see the vampire in short fifteen minute bursts, occasionally bringing him some extra blood in hopes that it would help with healing. By the time he was finally feeling well enough to leave his room, the humans had eaten dinner and it was well and truly night.
Ryker had taken to gaming out in the living room after Adam fell asleep in their bedroom. All the lights were off, so the TV was the only thing that provided any light, and he was curled up inside a blanket from the closet while several of his favourite stress toys sat in his lap. He wasn’t sure he’d experienced anxiety this bad in quite a while. It felt like he was drowning in it, and it was preventing him from doing anything other than sitting there and wallowing in it.
In fact, it took him several minutes to even realise that Carlos had sat down beside him. It wasn’t until the vampire gently touched him on the arm that he jumped; inevitably disrupting the two sleeping animals who’d been lying beside him since he sat down.
“I’m sorry,” Carlos apologised, looking almost just as surprised as he was. “You looked so invested in your game, I wasn’t sure if you’d hear me.”
Ryker paused his game with a small wave of his hand and set his controller down on the coffee table. “You’re all good. I just wasn’t expecting to see you until tomorrow, is all. How’re you feelin’?”
The vampire gave him a smile. “Better. My burns don’t hurt as much. I think they’ll be better by tomorrow.”
“Yeah? That’s great, man.”
After a small silence had passed, Ryker slowly started to unravel himself from his blanket before lying it across his lap instead. He then lifted it up as an invitation for Carlos to join him and grinned when the vampire shuffled over without hesitation.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he whispered as he crossed his legs beneath himself. He still seemed to be in some pain, but the fact that he could move at all meant that he was getting better. He was grateful that they’d bought those extra blood packs for emergencies. “Adam said you were having some anxiety. Was that caused by me? When I asked you to leave?”
Ryker thought about lying. He thought about telling him that it was just general anxiety, or that something had happened at work while he was away, but that felt wrong to do. Surely he was past the point where he felt the need to lie like that?
“A little,” he eventually admitted. During his little pause, he offered Carlos one of his stress toys and found himself smiling when the vampire took it. “I feel like an idiot because I know you told me you’re not, but I guess I’m still convinced that you’re upset with me. That you asked me to leave because I did something wrong.”
“Please don’t call yourself that.” He reached out to hold Ryker’s hand with his free one. “I feel that way a lot, too, when people use a certain tone or use certain words when they’re talking to me. It’s scary not being able to tell what someone’s true intentions are.”
Ryker took a moment to respond. “Yeah… So, you’re really not upset with me?”
“Not at all,” Carlos shook his head. He gave him a warm smile, fingers still holding onto the human’s hand tight. “You took care of me so much when you were a kid. You saw my body in states that should have been horrifying to someone of such a young age, and yet after a while you didn’t even seem to care. I hated it, and now that I’ve got a choice, I’m choosing to save you from having to experience it again.”
Truth be told, Ryker still thought about a lot of the things he’d seen Carlos be put through when he was a child. He hardly ever spoke to anyone about it, Adam included, but it had haunted him for years. There was even a period of time where he remembered blaming Carlos for his trauma, though that thankfully lasted no more than a few months. He knew it wasn’t Carlos’ fault. There was no one to blame but his parents.
Ryker finally nodded, though he didn’t exactly agree with him. “Thank you. You… you know I’m not a kid anymore, though, right? I know you feel bad for not always having the ability to protect me as a kid or whatever, but I’m giving you permission to let that go. I’m not upset about it, nor do I resent you, so there’s no reason for you to either.”
Before Ryker could look up to see why it had suddenly gone quiet, Carlos had shuffled over even more and wrapped his arms around the human’s neck in somewhat of an awkward hug. He held on tight, seemingly forgetting once more that his strength was much more prominent that it used to be, but Ryker couldn’t bring himself to mind. It was just another reminder that things were slowly getting better.
For both of them.
-
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