#anblog

[ankatenuff]

can i ramble a bit

so i have this friend right who is sooooo insensitive to almost everything like seriously. i dunno im just trying to make a conversation one day and she starts to reply very very late with “oops..” thats it. after i gave her a pretty long chat. even asking for opinions. 

like how would you feel if i did that to you too. she did this to me not just once but almost on every time i try to chat her since that day. so now it passed my limit, i dont even try to start any chat with her again since the last straw. but suddenly a few days ago she chat me up to ask for an opinion. i was working but thats not an actual excuse for me not to reply, i just didnt open it til the next day. and didnt reply with anything. 

but then the next day she suddenly asked me the name of a local con thats going to come next month. i know i did asked her for a second when we met and already guessing shes hinting me to start a conversation and urging me to ask her about it. but i just reply it to the point with no questions asked. 

and lol she replied me with just “hmmm... thank you.” lol 

i wont fall for it gurl. ive made up my mind that i wont invite you. esp to something that im looking forward to. and there are still more and enough reasonsss on why i should avoid you from now on. lol i shudve done this after that trip to japan  

[ankatenuff]

this is not good. i feel like ranting everytime i saw her on my dash. i wanna unfollow but then she’ll notice cuz what i remember she checks a lot?? and i dont wanna go so far as unfollowing. isnt there any option like on fb to select only selected few to appear on dash? i dont wanna feel so negative everytime shes there lol

[ankatenuff]

I really wish i could interact more on tumblr since this was my very first art sharing platform. im really awkward so ill just find my own corner

[ankatenuff]

170 followers on my main acc agsgshhdf :O!!!! And i got 16 notes on that vy sketch which i didnt put too much effort to. I only got 7+ notes on that viktor drawing that i spent 2 days for lol

[ankatenuff]

Tfw a close friend keep blaming you of something that yourself never ever blame them for it

[ankatenuff]

Im really glad i decided to be back on twitter (tho with a new acc since i dont wanna jumbled it up with my personal). I feel like its way easier to talk to artists there rather than here. Im an awakward trash so i cud not come up with anything to start a private message lol and usually asks are one sided. So i never really interact with anyone here for years of being active in tumblr. I never expect a small compliment in my art cud brighten up my whole day. So i wanna do the exact same thing with other artists. Pay it forward. Also a friend of mine who's really into illustrations since my univ days always like to talk about artists which i never really understood back then. Now i know the feeling and trying to be active too. I know more about the community now than i used to. And im really glad i took a 6-month break before searching for a place to work :3

[ankatenuff]

Even tho i managed to getting used to alpha!verse in sns. But it was like after a few years im in sns fandom lol

And when my friend said she doesnt get alpha!verse i just scoffed because i forgot my first reaction to it as well.

Now i remember it again after reading alpha!verse yoi fics. I dont think i can get used to this again. Since im not planning to stay long. Ive been wanting to get out from this BL community after ive moved on from sns. Sigh

[ankatenuff]

This is me. Rambling.

Please dont assume that me liking a certain bxb pairing in an anime as me being a fujoshi.

No.

Being a fujoshi for me it meant you keep on pairing [A] guy to [B] guy in that certain anime. Even tho the pairing doesnt makes sense, has no developments, or worse, no connection at all.

As for me, I could fell in love with a pairing that truly has connection, developments, and subtle hints that they truly liked each other (even tho one of them might be so dense). I cannot just simply fall for pairing that only have a very slight “hint” that has no development at all. And most of the times they dont have any connections too.

Im an open minded person. I dont care what your preference is. They are your free choice to choose and not mine. I cannot force you how to live life.

This is why i never declare myself as a fujoshi. But people that know me irl and found out I like certain bxb pairings just assume that I am a fujoshi.

Okay so here’s the thing. I like pairings that have developments from either their personalities or circumstances. I cannot just simply liked a not developed pairings just because in your own headcanons that they matched each other. Nope.

I could count in one hand of how many bxb ships that I sailed thru out my life.

YR; SNS; VT