I know I talk a lot about healthy vs unhealthy coping mechanisms and reactions on my blog but I just want to make sure it's clear...
If you mess up, you aren't a bad person.
I'm also not here judging you if you aren't in a place where the healthier coping mechanisms are something you're able to use consistently.
I'm trying to offer alternative ways to deal with things mostly because it helps you. Healthier coping mechanisms can help you avoid spirals, and help strengthen your relationships (because we all know how much it hurts to lose relationships).
But I offer this advice as someone who once used a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms. As someone who broke almost every friendship and relationship I had. As someone who thought they were beyond healing.
My rage used to consume me, and I said hurtful things when I lost control. My insecurities also consumed me and I did really unhealthy things to get attention and I really put a lot on my friends to the point where they had to leave me for their own mental health.
My point is please know that when I put this stuff out there, it's not coming from a judgmental place. It's coming from a place of empathy. I know how terrible it felt to isolate myself. To shatter my relationships. To go on guilt spirals for my behaviour.
While you can't change the feelings, you can usually prevent spirals that both heighten the feelings and make them last longer, and you can usually have healthier relationships so that you don't constantly feel the sadness of losing people and lessen feelings of guilt.
I am sharing all this with you because I was struggling with all the things I post about. And I felt so alone and hopeless. I want to offer you some hope that it can get better.
My quality of life has improved overall, not just my relationships with other people.
My blog is not a place of judgment. So please know this. I am not sitting here looking down on people who fall down, or struggle, or can't get up off the floor. I am hoping to help bring you up because I know how hard it can be.
