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I'm sorry guys, I'm having a hard time. Struggling to not even overcome it, but just get thru it. It's been three decades and I'm just

I'm tired.

gonna take every form of cat in my life and just go to bed for a while

#when youre on antidepressants #and mood stabilizers #and sedatives #and going to therapy #and trying to be sociable #and engaging in hobbies #and everyone is supportive and loving and fantastic #and you have a great life #your needs are met #youre not struggling financially #and you have 2 amazing furbabies and a cery excellent partner #... but its still not working

I wanted to post the requested Nyx x Reader x Ignis thing like two weeks ago by now - I'm the worst person ever - but then I went to rewrite a big part of it because I didn't like it. I normally write fanfics where new characters have families (who have names and jobs and birthdays), pets, a job, I search for blueprints of apartments and make notes of the furniture (where it stands, what does it look like) etc. Even though this is a reader insert this is turning out rather long. I currently have 8 pages - there are a lot of notes between the actual writing - and it's not finished. Somehow this feels like a part out of a story because I could actually write 'chapters' which happen before and after what I'm working on. I'm planning to work on this throughout the day, it's almost 9am for me and luckily I have a week of vacation so I don't need to bother about other responsibilities. Besides cooking and some other housework.

#I'm currently living off painkillers #And sedatives #Plus coffee #Not a healthy combination #Gonna go back to writing

it’s 3am and i’m sitting here torturing myself looking at pretty places to visit in America.

#I don't even have a passport yet #I also have a phobia of flying #will need all the alcohol #and sedatives #but it will be so worth it

I forgot I doubled up on my birth control. Later today seems lovely!!

#jk #hug needed #and sedatives

Oh. My. Holy. Aunt.

#guess who just watched aou #i need support #and hugs #and sedatives

chatterjam replied to your post:screams into existence

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH, GAVRIL LIVES A SHITHOLE UNDER THE P’LICE, GAVRIL PLANTFUCK, FULL OF ANGER AND TORTURE IS HE, GAVRIL PLANTFUCK

last night i was proposing ''''''''''experiments''''''' on gavril to jude (who runs bran) and he was like "wOW THATS SO MEAN do it"

#chatterjam #so full of anger #and sedatives #rp shit

Today sucked.

I've felt fucking useless, humiliated, and incompetent all day. By the end of my shift, my pulse was through the roof and I just wanted to vomit... and now I have to clean my apartment and pack up as much shit as possible before my family gets here tonight.

One of these nights I'll manage to get enough sleep to function like a normal goddamn human being.

#personal #i need hugs #and sedatives

#and sedatives

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