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Loss and grief are just... So fucking weird sometimes

#empress vents #my grandpa died last wednesday #we're going up for the visitation and funeral tomorrow #it didn't... really hit until tonight that he's gone #and... i dunno #i mean i barely knew him it seems #and frankly i was always kind of upset with him about how he treated my dad #and i know for a fact that he would never have been a good person to come out to #but. if we had both been different people. maybe we could have had some kind of bond?#and i think that's what i'm mourning more than anything else here. the what-ifs.

Epic Rap Battle of History: who'd you like to see?

Raymond Chandler vs Dashiell Hammett

Coco Chanel vs Beau Brummell

Rod Serling (twilight zone) v Leslie Stevens (outer limits)

Accursed Mountebank!

Voting ended onSep 1, 2024

#epic rap battles of history #erb #raymond chandler #dashiell hammett #coco chanel #beau brummell #rod serling #Leslie Stevens #guest rappers include:#mickey spillane #john newland #and... i dunno #tim gunn

Sometimes I have this feeling that I'll have to deal with another partner's death, this time because of health issues.

#she discovered a fairly sizeable lump at her neck #and I'm optimistic but I'm also fairly ignorant...#and naive #and... i dunno #i know I'm scared #and i know she's scared too but is tired of having something going on at every turn

So there's the ships Louna (Louie and Lena) and Dewena (Dewey and Lena) maybe, but what about Huena (Huey and Lena) (if there isn't already this ship out there)? I mean, ... As far as we've seen, Huey's the only triplet to interact with Lena (kinda). Also, just think: the nerd with "the cool and mysterious." ... I dunno, but this ship sounds adorable, in my opinion. What do you think?

#I've thought about this a few times #and... I dunno #imagine Huey getting all nervous and internally flipping out #around Lena #even though canonically it never happened #but still #ducktales 2017 #Huey #Lena #Huena #ash rambles #shut up ash!

(( Have to go offline for now! Classes and what-not.

I shall be back at some later point though! ))

#also I'm feeling hungry #and kind of lazy #and... I dunno #sq.ooc #ooc

I've typed like a billion text post to talk about what I've been feeling every since I've moved to New Jersey and have discarded every single one of them because there's nothing to be said anymore I don't think. I'm just miserable and all I can do now is hope for a soft landing after this fall. And I dunno... I've just been really fucking sad for a while.

#personal #and... i dunno #putting my problems out in the open seem like a good thing #but it's... whatever #i'm just fucking done really

Have I mentioned that I hate applying for jobs?

#Someone pay me to do things #I can lift stuff #and play trombone #and... I dunno #Clean #Something

#and... i dunno

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