Android!Aleks Angst. Try saying that ten times fast.
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Aleks had begun to develop a tick.
It started off tiny, so small that he didn’t even notice it. It started in his hands.
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He’d been holding a glass in his hand, and then suddenly, his fingers had shifted just enough for the glass to go crashing to the ground, crystal fragments scattering along the ground. He’d blinked, and stared at the mess on the ground. James had darted around the corner, checking up on him. He raised an eyebrow at the broken glass, but shook his head.
“It’s alright. Just clean it up later.”
Aleks had nodded, but stood frozen for a few moments. He couldn’t remember loosening his grip on the glass, and there was a nagging doubt in his mind, that told him ‘Androids aren’t clumsy.’ But James hadn’t argued, or questioned anything, so he shook the thought off, and began to clean up the shattered glass.
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But it had gotten bigger over time, no longer remaining just in his hands.
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It began to double as a kind of speech impediment, causing his words to end suddenly, or having him repeat himself. It was like a kind of stutter, almost.
“Aleks, can you stop that? It’s starting to get annoying.”
“I don’t mean- mean to. It just kind of happen- happens.” Aleks’ shoulder gave a slight twitch, and he frowned. James furrowed his eyebrows in concern before standing up, heading towards the basement.
Aleks blinked, placing a hand on his shoulder. It gave another slight twitch, and it almost seemed like a muscle tensing.
His finger suddenly tapped, causing him to jump and pull his hand away, staring at it in shock.
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And then it had gotten bad. It spread to his senses.
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“James, I- James, I- James, I can’t see.”
He glanced around aimlessly, vision blurring in odd places, and colours inverting. Hands were placed on his twitching shoulders, steering him through the house, and down into the basement.
“Fix it- Fix it, please.”
“I’m trying, Aleks, just give me a second!” He could feel hands at his wrists, wires being tugged on and shifted. The pressure kept varying from pushes to light touches, leaving Aleks being shoved with just the slightest brush.
He could hear James typing, but the noises kept increasing and decreasing in volume, making everything incredibly disorienting.
Finally, the disorientation ceased, and he could hear and see again. James had hooked him up to a computer, and had managed to fix the faulty code.
“That’s the fifth time this week. What’s happening to you, Aleks?” James placed a cautious hand over Aleks’, and frowned at feeling the slight twitching in his fingers.
Aleks wished that he knew.
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And then everything just went wrong.
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“Fix it- Fix it- Fix it now, please, it hurts! It’s not meant- not meant- not meant to hurt!”
“You need to relax Aleks, stop moving, fuck!” Aleks couldn’t make sense of anything. His twitch had become a jerk, and his limbs moved spastically, jerking violently, causing Aleks’ wires to pull and twist. The pain was unbelievable.
His vision was nothing but flashes of inverted colours, flipped images and blinding lights. Nothing made sense at all, and it was the most frightening thing.
His auditory system had been almost completely destroyed. Whispers were screams, and screams were whispers. Everything had just gone wrong.
But his pressure senses had been the worst of it. The sensitive wires had been twisted in such a way, that his skin had felt like a layer of clothing that was five sizes too small. Choking, he’d panicked, trying desperately to claw at the offending layer, attempting to tear it off.
James had found him, wires sparking, and metal torn.
He’d been restrained, but nothing could stop the pain as James tried frantically to repair the code. So he’d yelled, and begged. His impediment remained strong, and his voice clicked and repeated.
James swore, slamming his fists onto the table.
“Fuck!” He sobbed, his nails digging into his palm.
“Jame- James?”
“I’m so sorry Aleks. Forgive me, please.”
James hesitated, and a tear slid down his cheek.
“I can’t fix it. I can’t fix the code.”
What had started out as the slightest tick, had turn into uncontrollable spasms that had caused his wires to pull, twist, and tear. The glitch had developed into something more, and had destroyed him from the inside.
James was next to him, and he spoke softly.
“There’s only one way to fix this, and that’s physically. I… I have to shut you down. Rewire you.” His hands combed through Aleks’ hair, and he tried to be as gentle as possible.
“You probably won’t remember me, if I do. Everything we’ve done… It’ll be gone. But, I don’t want you to hurt anymore, Aleks.”
Aleks managed a slight nod.
“Fix it.”
James sobbed, gently resting his forehead against Aleks’.
“I’m sorry, Aleksandr.”
He gave a soft kiss to his forehead, before moving back over to the computer, typing in the command.
And Aleks fell asleep, for the first and last time in his life.
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He opened his eyes, and a man stood in front of him. The man spoke with sadness lacing his words.
“Your name is Aleksandr.”
That sounded so familiar.
“My name is Aleksandr.”
The man nodded, and Aleks could hear the sadness in his voice.
“I am-”
The world seemed to freeze, and Aleks was suddenly plagued with a thousand memories. His head was filled with memories of the man in front of him, memories of emotion, memories of pain, memories of things gone wrong.
So I was thinking about something and I got this idea:
The real Aleks was killed like in a accident or something, so James build Android!Aleks. But, the goverment found out and Android!Aleks was sentence to execution. With a heart that couldn't feel anything, Android!Aleks did not understand anything. He was locked up in a execution chamber, and good enough to have a window there. And all he could hear was his master saying:" Please...... I don't want to lose you AGAIN......"
Something had gone wrong in the transfer, and emotions had failed to upload. Aleks had been left nothing but a blank canvas, with a staring empty gaze.
James had tried everything, trying frantically to bring emotion and feelings into Aleks’s mind. But nothing worked, and James couldn’t bear to shut him down.
Yes, he was broken. But James thought maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to learn them.
At least that’s what he hoped, anyway.
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Confusion, coupled with sadness, was unfortunately the first emotions James witnessed in Aleks.
“What’s the outside like?”
“What?” James glanced up, confused. Aleks didn’t usually ask questions.
“What’s it like outside of this house? I’ve read about the outside, and it sounds nice.”
“Oh.”
“Can I go outside?”
James shook his head immediately. Aleks definitely was not ready for that. To James’s surprise, however, Aleks furrowed his brow in confusion.
“Why?”
“You just can’t.”
“But why can’t I?”
“You just can’t, alright?” James snapped, losing his patience quickly. To his shock, Aleks’s jaw clenched, and his gaze lowered. His eyes were saddened and he sniffed quietly.
“Aleks, I-”
“No, don’t worry about it.”
James knew that he’d feel bad about it later, but for now, he couldn’t stop the small amount of happiness swimming around in his mind.
And he did feel like shit later. Not just for feeling happy over Aleks’s sadness, but for immediately denying Aleks the thing he wanted most.
Maybe he’d make it up for him one day.
----
Shock and happiness was the emotion that had James in tears.
Ein had been playing in her water again. Her legs and belly were absolutely soaked, and as she scampered along the wooden floor, she left tiny wet prints. James chased after her with a towel, sliding along the wet floor and crashing into the kitchen bench. He staggered for a bit before resuming the chase.
Aleks watched from his spot on the floor, eyes light. He gave a small chuckle and slapped a hand over his mouth, shocked by his own laugh.
Ein suddenly leapt into his lap and shook herself dry, spraying Aleks and the floor with tiny droplets. Aleks eyes widened and raised his hands in an effort to protect his face.
James laughed at the shocked expression on his face, breathless from the chase.
And then Aleks laughed back.
His mouth formed a smile which then cracked into a grin as he tilted his head back, laughing at Ein. His laugh was hoarse and odd sounding, but James felt his grin fall into a softer smile.
He wiped at the happy tears that fell from his eyes.
----
Love and awe were the emotions that had him flying, though.
“James will you uncover my eyes already?”
“No dice Aleksandr. It’s a surprise, so that means you have to be surprised!”
“I’ll pretend to be surprised.”
“Doesn’t count man, so keep your eyes shut, alright?”
“You’re covering them anyway.”
“Hush.”
He paused and slowly moved his hands away.
“Okay, you can look now.”
Aleks opened his eyes. The scene before him was an incredible shade of blue and it took him a while to realise what he was looking at.
“I’m outside.”
“You are.”
His jaw dropped slightly, and it was obvious that he was awestruck.
I’M TOO ADDICTED TO THIS AU, SOMEBODY STOP ME. Actually no, don’t.
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Aleksandr had lived a very short life of only a few years. But the few memories he had, were something he held close to him.
His earliest memory, when he was first powered on.
Everything had been so blurry, yet he could hear the clear voice of who he would soon know as his master, his creator.
“Okay, let’s start with something simple. Yes or no. Can you hear me?”
“Yes.” His own voice had been unusual, and he’d thrown a hand up to his throat, at the odd vibration that his false vocal chords gave.
“Can you see me?”
“No.” The voice ‘hmphed’ and soft footsteps wandered over to a source of coloured light. A laptop, Aleks would notice, after he could see.
He could hear the odd tapping noises, and then suddenly, the blurry mess became sharp and bright. He gasped at the stark colours and shapes, and he placed a hand over his torso, confused by the sudden rise and fall.
“How about now, can you see me now?”
The owner of the voice stood before Aleks, and Aleks could see it was a male with dark shadows under his eyes, but the male held an emotion of excitement that seemed to light up his face.
“Yes.”
“Good, good, great… Fuck yes!” The male clapped his hands together, before clearing his throat. He wandered over to the laptop, and Aleks followed him with his gaze.
“Okay, something harder. If I programmed you right, this should work. What’s your name?”
“My name is Aleksandr.”
A smile spread over the male’s face, a tired, excited smile.
“What time is it?”
“It is 8:43 PM, 28th of March, 2014.”
“How long have you been powered down for?”
“This is my first time being powered up.”
“Okay good. Can you move your arms and legs?”
Aleks could.
“Okay, now… Nod your head, and then shrug your shoulders.”
Aleks froze.
He didn’t know what those were. He could see the man’s smile fall slightly, and something in him realized that he didn’t want that to happen. He racked his brains, trying so hard to think. It finally clicked, after an agonizing ten seconds.
His nod was more of jerky bob, and his shrug was too quick and sharp. But the smile stayed fixed on.
“That’s okay, don’t worry. We can fix this. I’ll teach you how to be alive.”
Alive.
Aleks liked that word.
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He could remember the happiest memory.
When he finally perfected movements, became more human, more alive.
He could nod smoothly, and his shrugs were no longer sharp and sudden, but more flowing. But those weren’t his proudest achievements.
No, his proudest achievement was something much more than a shrug of the shoulders, or a nod of the head.
He could remember when he had been wandering the house, searching the rooms for something, anything to do. He’d ended up in the storeroom, somehow.
A layer of dust covered almost everything, whether it was a box, or even a cover sheet. Aleks had carefully removed the coversheet off of an unusually shaped item in the back.
It was a bass guitar.
And over some time, his fingers had memorized the notes and chords needed to play something.
It was a simple melody.
But nothing could beat the feeling that coursed through him when he had completed the song without a single mistake.
And nothing could beat the sense of accomplishment he felt, when a large smile formed itself on his master’s face after the song was over, and he applauded Aleks with loud claps and cheering.
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And he could remember his saddest memory.
God, could he ever remember his saddest and loneliest memory.
His master had rushed into Aleks’s room and gripped him by the shoulders, forcing him through the twisting hallways of the house. His eyes were worried and his movements were frantic. Aleks could’ve refused to move, and stood still on the spot, but he felt like what his master was doing was something urgent.
“What’s happening?”
“You need to hide, you need to be quiet!”
“Why?”
“They’re suspicious, Aleks. You’re not meant to be here, and they know that. They suspect you’re not a human, that I made you. You’re illegal Aleks, and they won’t like that!”
Aleks didn’t know who ‘they’ were, but he kept moving.
“Why do I have to hide though? What will they do to me?”
No response was given.
He was pushed downstairs, and into the concrete, airtight chamber that he was first made in. It was empty now though, no equipment.
“Aleks, I’m sorry, I really am, but you need stay here.”
“I don’t want to! Why can’t I stay with you?”
“You have to stay here, because I couldn’t bear to see something happen to you, Aleks! I couldn’t bear knowing that you were harmed in any way.”
His master had hugged him tight and the left, the door locking with a hiss, his last words to Aleks being, “I’ll let you out when it’s safe, I promise.”
First, Aleks screamed.
“Let me out! Don’t leave me alone!”
“Please! Let me out, god dammit, let me out!”
He pounded on the door, trying to peer out of the tiny window.
He didn’t care that the room was completely soundproof. He screamed for almost a week.
Second, Aleks cried.
He cried, dry tearless sobs. He sat curled up in the corner, hugging his knees tight, wailing. This lasted for maybe two weeks.
Third, Aleks shut down.
Not used to expressing so much emotion, not used to being so alive, his charge depleted quickly. Normally his master would’ve charged him. But Aleks doubted his master was coming anytime soon.
So he curled up in the middle of the room, and rested his cheek on the cold concrete ground.
The world became dull, and a blur.
And then he blacked out, and he felt the energy leave him.
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Aleks opened his eyes.
A scruffy young male knelt in front of him, gripping his hand tight. Aleks could feel a charge being run through him, and the young male asked him;
“How… How long have you been powered down for?”
His internal clock was wrong; it just had to be wrong.
“I have been powered down for one year, two months, a week, three days, six hours and seventeen minutes.”
Aleks tried to sit up. He was so stiff, his joints locked up in awkward places whenever he moved.
“What is your name?”
That voice, Aleks knew that voice.
“My name is Aleksandr.”
“Do you remember me, Aleks?”
Aleks focused his gaze on the scruffy male, taking in the brown eyes and stubble, messy hair, and scarred, dirty skin. He blinked twice, before remembering.
He should’ve just said “Yes”, like he was programmed to. But, “I’ve missed you so much.” were the words that left his mouth.
And his master collapsed a heap, sobbing and hugging Aleks close to him.
“You’re still alive. Thank god, you’re still alive.”
