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A story about Vertigo, that werewolf I posted yesterday

“Let’s consider this race over.” I begrudgingly said as I turned off my Xbox. I felt the need to sleep and started the process of walking from my office to my soft bed. I turned off the lights, plopped myself into the bed, and slept like a corpse. The next day I woke up to The Exploding Hearts classic “I’m a Pretender”. My servos ached but I paid them no mind. I answered my phone, and to the surprise of no one. It was my employer calling me. “Hey Certus,” I started. “Hey uhh, Vertigo, big fella, were going to need your help in the lab for today,” explained Certus. "Ok I’m coming,” I said with audible distain in my voice.

With my plans to go to High Plains Raceway with my friends having to be postponed, I oriented myself with what I needed to do to get ready for the day. I quickly put some waffles in the toaster, put on my lab coat, grabbed the waffles when they were done, and the keys to the sixty-five Pontiac GTO in the driveway. I stepped outside to smell the clean Colorado air. After climbing into the driver’s seat I inserted the key into the ignition and turned it. Nothing happened, I popped the hood and opened it just to remember three weeks before I had removed the engine and sent it off to be bored at a friend’s shop. I made the walk of shame back into my small house to grab the keys to the Shelby Cobra in the garage. I crammed my 7’4 frame into the tiny cockpit of my hand-built replica. I turned the key and immediately woke up everyone in a three mile radius. Thirteen-hundred horsepower wanting to escape from the cold rear tires. As I let the car warm up, I feasted on those bland, tasteless waffles. About two minutes later I set off to make the fun journey to the labs, no thanks to the winding mountain roads leading up to the complex.

I parked the cobra in my usual spot, I got dirty looks from the environmental scientists. “How do you like destroying the environment Dr. Mertas?!” one of them shouted angerly. I ignored her and walked in to the lobby. As I walked in I was met by Joseph, head of security. “Vertigo I’ve got some good news and bad news,” “Start with the bad news please,” I replied. “Well Billy, you know, That 4-foot-tall alarm robot? Just did a beautiful swan dive into the fountain, issue is that he isn’t waterproof like the other robots and short circuited himself,” he continued. “But the good news is that this gives us the excuse to update his programing and hardware to make him less stupid,” I nodded, gave him a tired smile and said that I’ll be on it. I lifted the usually talkative Billy onto my shoulders and carried him to my lab to be fixed and updated. Setting him down I headed to the boss’s office to see what he wanted. Certus let me in and sat me down, “I got a little assignment for ya,” Certus revealed. “Go ahead,” I replied. “Could you explain to some of our employees what mob mentality is?” Certus asked. “Why do you need me to do that, could you just do that yourself?” I asked looking confused. “Some environmentalists started to peacefully protest us using plastic utensils in the cantina. Then one of them threw a brick at a car window, your car window. Then ten idiots just went nuts. Screaming, shouting, breaking windows, and slashing tires,” he said. Sensing my nervousness, he reassured me “Don’t worry about it, you got it! No one is going to try attack you, just look, you have nothing to fear!”

I left his office and went to my lab to fix Billy the idiot security robot. During the repair I started to remember my first run-in with Karin. One of the more passionate environmentalists. I remembered that she saw my beautiful Cobra and just started yelling. no, SCREECHING in my ears about how I’m killing the environment and how i'm literal garbage. I told her that her precious Toyota Prius’s manufacturing was more pollutant than my Shelby Cobra. Then I remembered when she slapped me. I wasn’t angry. In my shock I asked, “lady you hit me! Why would you do that?" I remembered that it left an imprint on my face, and it stung for hours after she hit me. After about two to three hours of replacing parts and remembering when I was assaulted, I get a call from Certus, “It’s time,” he said referencing the Chuck Norris film “Invasion U.S.A.”. I headed to the large meeting room to explain mob mentality, I hoped that Karin was not there. I didn’t want to remember the incident that happened last month. I walked in, luckily Karin was gone, but and before I could introduce myself. Lorena, one of the smaller women in the crowd yelled” IT’S A MONSTER, RUN!”. As soon as she said that, everyone panicked and ran out of the room screaming like banshees who were burning alive. I wondered to myself, why did everyone run away? Then it hit me. In an adrenaline-fueled panic one of the male scientists Ryan, lobbed a mirror in my general direction. At that moment I remembered that I’m a 7’4 tall android werewolf that could probably tear everyone in the room apart. Not that I had the desire to, but that I could. Then I noticed three people. Jokke and Jason, two senior scientists that where not exactly sober, and Chad. A ride technician that I knew from my previous job at an amusement park named Funzone. Jokke slurs drunkenly that I did an amazing job with my presentation, he then passed out in his chair leaving Jason to tend to his friend. Chad gives me a high five and we caught up with each other.

I sighed a sigh of relief and walked back to my lab. As I sat in my chair I was greeted by Certus’s three-year-old son Henry, doing his usual thing, sticking his face on the large glass window in my lab. I smiled at him and let him in. “Hi dere fluffy,” Henry said. “Hey Henry,” I say trying not to sound tired. “Do you like Legos?” He asked excitedly. “Yeah Legos are fun I like them,” I say. He giggled with glee and asked, “Can I see what you are doing,” “Yeah little guy!” I said happy to show him my handywork. I kneeled down and hoisted him up onto my shoulders. With his new-found height, he spotted a stuffed giraffe on my desk and gleefully shouted,” Giraffe, giraffe!” his happiness over a stuffed giraffe made me happy, we walked around my work space telling him about the different things I’m working on. I showed him my office tortoise, he pets it saying” Hi Mr. turtle” at that exact moment, the recently updated Billy powered on. “Where am I?” he groggily asked.” You took a dive into the fountain bud,” I told him. He shut himself off and slept on my work bench.

I looked at the clock on my desk and saw that we’d been talking for two and a half hours. I decided to show him the model I had made of my Shelby cobra. Before I could show him, I noticed that he had fallen asleep on my shoulders. I carried him back to Certus. During the walk back to Certus’s office Henry woke up “Do you want to be friends?” he asked with a smile on his face. “Yeah,” I answered. I got to the office, Certus was there waiting for me. “I heard through the grapevine that you did a live demonstration of mob mentality,” he said sternly. As I heard that I started to shake with fear.” Y-y-y-y-you heard about that!” I yelled fearfully, “I-I-I-I-I-I’m sorry it'll nev-v-v-v-!" he cut me off. “You did good big guy!" He said as he placed his hand on my shoulder, calming me down. “You even made a new friend,” Certus added as he patted me on my head. I look at Henry, I gave him a large, toothy smile as I walked up to the little guy, I kneeled down and hugged him. His small face gleamed with delight as he wrapped his small arms around me. “Goodbye fluffy,” he said as he buried his face into my chest, “Goodbye Henry,” I say trying not to cry. I walked out to the cobra and drove home. As I drove home I turned on the radio and to my surprise, the station was playing The Enemy by D.O.A. I turned into the driveway, parked in the garage, and walked to my room to try and get some sleep, but I just couldn’t. I was just too happy to sleep. That day was the best day I had ever had in a long time. After what had seemed like forever, fatigue had finally won its battle over me and I had drifted off into the dreamworld.