July
Andy x Reader
A/N remember you can always send in request .
Aswell as a song along with a character and I'll write a one shot
I've been holding my breath
I've been counting to ten
Over something you said
I've been holding back tears
While you're throwing back beers
I'm alone in bed
I know this isn't good . I know it's not good for me I cant help my eyes from stinging tho . I've tried to get close to him . I've tired god knows I've tried .
Andy Barben
The bed room had a heavy silent as he down the last of his drink as I read my book . It had been a ruf day once again for him . Well at least I think he has barely said a word . No kiss when he come in from work .and went straight for the beer
However as I think about it. It's been like that for while . As my heart stings yearning for my husband who has made it clear time and time although not saying the words you could tell he didnt for you . Well at least not anymore .
You know I, I'm afraid of change
Guess that's why we stay the same
Its been like this for a while . You see I think the problem is we got to comfortable with eachother . After four years of marriage and nearly a decade of being with each we did the same thing.
But I dont want it to change . I love him . Oh I love him .
I just ...
I dont think he loves me anymore
So tell me to leave, I'll pack my bags, get on the road
Find someone that loves you better than I do, darling, I know
'Cause you remind me every day, I'm not enough, but I still stay
See I knew from the beginning I'd never be enough for Andy I mean look at him . He has always been successful. He is always kind and loving. I also knew I was lucky to have him.
But I never felt good enough for him . But I tried to be .
I mean he use to tell me all the time he loved me and I could see it in his eyes . But now I know when he says it he shares those words with another and he means them alot more with her
Feels like a lifetime
Just tryna get by
While we're dying inside
I've done a lot of things wrong
Loving you being one
But I can't move on
Although I know what Andy has been doing with the new lawyer in his firm I could never bring myself to say anything as i was dying inside . I tried god I tired .
But what's the point when your the only one loving in the relationship . I love Andy with everything in me . I do anything for him.
But you see that's the problem I've been doing that for to long now .
You know I, I'm afraid of change
Guess that's why we stay the same
That's why its stayed the same. Me at home with my work while he went to his work with her . I just hope he loves her because its killed me
So tell me to leave,I'll pack my bags, get on the road
As andy made his way into the bed he turned his back from me once again . I put my head on my pillow facing his back . I wish he would hold me one more time
"Night love " I spoke softly in the dark of the room
"Night " was his short response
"I love you andy " a single tear rolled down my cheek .
"Love ya " he shifted around before closing his eyes with a deep breath as I tried hold in my sob .
Unknowing to him my bags where packed my clothes gone from my closet waiting under the stairs with papers waiting for him on the kitchen table
Find someone that loves you better than I do, darling, I know
I just hope. He loves her and is happy with her . Because I love him and for him I cant see him die inside everytime I'm near him or tell him a love him when he wants to be with her
'Cause you remind me every day, I'm not enough, but I still stay
The daily reminder I was never enough . After 10 or so years I finally decided not to stay .
When I heard to soft snores after 20 minutes or so I slowly got up . My shoes under the bed along with a shirt and leggings. I quickly changed and made my way to the bedroom door .
But not before I stood in front of the man I love. I love at him not in a creepy way but loving. See his cheated but I know hes a good man I just wasnt enough . I never deserved a man like him.
I looked at every detail . From his breaded checks covering his freckle to his soft brown curls on top of his head . I slowly lowered my head until I place a kiss on his cheek . Taking a deep breath
If you want me to leave, then tell me to leave, and baby, I'll go
Although he never said the word I knew he wanted me to leave and be with her . He just couldn't do it him self so I did for him .
So as I stood outside our shared home with my bags and suit case . Where I once hoped I'd grow old and share with my husband and future children . I waited until my uber pulled up .
My cheeks stung from my tears as I turned around towards the door as I slipped my keys through the letter box
"Baby I'll go . "