I'm glad Shiemi's mom was upfront with her, but the way she dropped everything on her like a stack of bricks in the flashback sequence 💀. When the subject of the reveal was mysteriously first implied (when it's raining and Amaimon's watching her from a distance), I think it's really interesting how Shiemi broke down soon after it and then she put a resolved, happy front on.
Hi Anon ! Sorry for the delay, I was away !
Well, I think Shiemi's mom suffered a lot, just like Shiemi's grandma, so she conveyed it as best she could considering the general circumstances of their bloodline, in my opinion.
I mean, these women don't even have proper first names : they're either Shemihaza or Saio Shiemi for every mom/daughter duo and I think this furthers the idea that the dehumanization of the Shemihaza family because of the Uzai family is meant to be targeted in the plot eventually.
I think Shiemi's mom also conveyed in the past that she wanted a way out of this system for her daughter...
...but she's also realistic about a free future for Moriyama women, all because of the iron grip that the Uzai family has over them.
As I said before though, I definitely think Shiemi is the Saio/Shemihaza who WILL put a stop to whatever the Uzai family is up to (and Amaimon will help). But before she can do that, she needs to address why she feels so useless and so much like a puppet.
It's exactly why she broke down, soon after that talk with her mom, in ch87...
Basically, I think Rin is right : Shiemi's wanting to help everyone is initially a good thing but, considering her current disregard for her own safety and happiness and how obsessive it gets, it's become a flaw. Shiemi's mom has noticed it too...
...and I can't help but think it all comes back to her dad's death.
Shiemi's mom explained that Shiemi witnessed her dad's murder and, no matter who the culprit was (since I believe it was probably Jeremiah), the fact she was unable to do anything to help her dad (because she was a kid) probably generated a subconscious trauma, which now makes her adamant about being helpful to others.
My evidence is Amaimon's aversion to Shiemi when she tamed him in that alternate timeline :
Because, like Shiemi's grandma said, familiars draw upon the exorcist's spirit and Shiemi's lack of confidence is what Amaimon can't stand at all, since he's supposed to be Shemihaza's familiar despite being one of the Baals.
So I'd say Shiemi wants so badly to be useful to others
because she lacks confidence,
because she witnessed her dad's murder and wasn't able to do anything to save him,
because she was too young
(and because the attacker was probably someone from the Uzai family and not simply "demons").
And I think she's very close to understanding why she feels like that, meaning close to remembering what exactly happened to her dad.
TL;DR Shiemi has so many reasons to want to break down about this unfair situation : she has no say in her future, deep down she feels useless because of how her dad died and she has to step into her mom's enormous shoes, without being able to mourn her death. That's fucked up.
I'm glad her friends are there with her !
Thanks for passing by Anon ! Have a good day.
