#angcrmangcmcnt

[alchemic-elric]

“Don’t ev’n start, Ocean Coffee.....”

[alchemic-elric]

“FUCK YOU!  Yeah you! You know who ‘m fuckin’ talkin’ to. Freakshow! ‘ve seen what’chu look like n’ if had ta deal with that mug I’d be jealous’a fuckin’ humans too.  Don’t git pissed jus’ ‘coz she’s right.  Jealous? Oh I think it’s more than that. Yer name is Envy after all right?  When was the last time someone gave a shit ‘bout you? Probably c’n’t ‘member.  Oh you ain’t jus’ jealous, yer real fuckin’ envious’a us ain’t’cha? 

Mad? Go for it. Be fuckin’ mad. Whatchu gunna do? Fuckin’ nu’hin’. Drop yer fuckin’ head ta yer Daddy’s commands like a good little monster. But let m’ make this perfectly clear ta you. You touch m’ fuckin’ sister ‘gain, I’ll tear you the fuck apart!!!” 

[alchemic-elric]

In conjunction to:  

X and ( 1 )  ( 2 )  ( 3 )  

He’s collapsed again. But it’s not the first time since he was released from the hospital a couple of months ago. He can’t get himself off the floor but Alphonse is having no issues with that, even as panicked hands lift him up from the now blood covered tile and get him back on the couch. He’s got him in this weird awkward position with pillows pushed under his back so he’s not completely flat but still close enough. 

He can’t breathe.  He can’t breathe like this.  

His breaths are labored  as he lays there and the only thing his brother can think to do is to lay a cool towel over his face. It’s got to help with something. It’s got to help with the sweat clinging to his skin and the the heat that feels like it’s burning him from the inside out. 

It’s not the first but he’s kept them to himself. It’s not the first but he’s kept them hush hush when he started coughing or felt his chest tighten up again. It’s never been major. It’s never been this. He hasn’t spat blood since the hospital - so today that is the first time since.  He had an attack the last time he had a mental breakdown. He had an attack the last time he screamed.  Raw rage releasing from his lungs reverberating through him for all he was worth. He had an attack then.  

He didn’t think much of it though. He didn’t think to tell his father or his brother because he didn’t want them to worry. He didn’t want any of them to worry .. and Sol - Sol didn’t know the signs. Sol’s never seen his attacks because he wasn’t here the last time he was in the hospital. It’s not his fault. Sol and Verna simply just weren’t here so there was no way for either of them to know when the Moon was about to collapse. 

It’s not their faults. It’s really not their faults. 

Alphonse is squeezing his hand and he wonders for a moment through the pain that’s tearing through his chest if his brother realizes how bad he’s shaking. Probably not considering the lacking body thing, but that armor is trembling and he can feel it against his skin. All Alphonse can think to do is keep him, cool, comfortable and stay by his side....but ragged breaths fail to improve. His chest hurts. His heart feels like it’s being squeezed and he feels like there’s bricks on his chest preventing him from getting a full breath. 

He’s back in that forest. He’s back in that forest, laying on that forest floor, unable to anything else but gasp and wheeze.  He wants his sun. He wants his sister. He wants his father. He can’t breathe like this and Dad knows how to make the pain subside. He needs medicine. He needs his medicine... he must have skipped a dose for his lungs to constrict like this. 

“D -Dad.” He’s coughing just to say the word. “W- Where’s - D- Dad?”  

There’s a gentle hand stroking over his head, to smooth down his hair and glide over gold locks as if in some kind of attempt to calm him. Alphonse’s hand squeezes down on his sibling’s but is to ground Edward or himself? 

“He’ll be here soon Brother. I’ll make sure he comes real soon. Verna went to get Sol. Don’t worry Brother. We’re getting them for you. Jus’ for now....don’t speak. Please you need to conserve your strength. I’m right here. I won’t go anywhere. You’re not alone, okay?” 

[alchemic-elric]

Dear Diary || Accepting

@angcrmanagcmcnt​ asked:  Dear Diary(>:3)

I went down when Ly’ was in trouble. What kind of big brother am I ?I got worked up again. I got pissed off and the next thing I knew I was setting in an alleyway with my back to the wall and I couldn’t breathe. I hate that feeling of not being able to breathe.

It’s been like this since I got shot. I’m pretty sure this is just my life now. Al’s really mad at me. Madder than I’ve ever seen him before. Mad for letting myself get riled up and mad for not keeping track of this shit better. He asked me how many times - Papa too and I couldn’t answer. I don’t know how many times this shit’s happened recently, enough to knock the wind out of me but never coughing blood like this one was.

I don’t think I’ve done that before. Have I? I don’t   remember. Al says that worries him. That I can’t remember things. Papa seems worried too. Arlott almost got her today and I couldn’t do a damn thing. I fucking hate this. What kind of big brother am I?

I tried. I tried to drag myself out there, to do something but I was on the floor before I even got out the front door. It’s this feeling of my whole chest seizing up and refusing to take in air. It’s like there’s fire in my lungs. I think it’s an aftermath of getting shot.  God do I gotta live with this for the rest of my life?  I feel so useless.

[alchemic-elric]

How to Care for the Moon || Accepting

@angcrmanagcmcnt​ said: 

She's taped a note to his jacket. Her handwriting is still so very messy but Anger likes to believe she's gotten better.

The note contains the following:

How to care for Edward.

Make sure he gets at least three meals a day. Sneak little snacks into his pockets so Edward can feed his inner black hole. Make sure he has at least one nap a day with someone from his cuddle buddy list. If you are not a person on that list, don't fucking touch him.

Make sure he has at least one hug a day, but only if he says it's alright. Always ask before touching Ed. Consent is everything to him. And make sure he doesn't fall asleep at his desk. It's not good for people to do that.

Make sure Edward knows he is loved and that he doesn't always have to be happy for everyone and it is okay when he is not and he is loved all the same.

Hurt Ed and prepare for a fist in your gut courtesy of his little sister, because that's how equivalent exchange works. You hurt him, I hurt you.

- Ly'.

It takes a full hour before he even knows it’s there. Alphonse plucks it from his back with little care and begins reading only stopping his sibling for a moment. 

“Brother wait. There’s a note on your back.” He sounds, as red eyes take in the messy text and soon he meets curious gold eyes looking his way. 

“What’s it say?” 

The younger Elric takes a moment and begins to read the note aloud. Edward’s expression twists as he listens, pale cheeks growing a faint dusty rose until his brother finally finishes and he snatches the note from his hands only to carefully fold it up and place it in the back pocket of the leather bound journal that lives in the breast pocket of his coat. 

“We should - git’er sum’hin’ nice while we’re out. Maybe some cookies? She likes cookies, right? She always seems ta have cookies on’er so let’s stop at that bakery on the way home, kay?”

“Feeling sentimental Brother?” 

“Alphonse shut the fuck up.” 

[alchemic-elric]

“KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE FUCKIN’ MIDDLE NAME LYSSA!”

[alchemic-elric]

@angcrmanagcmcnt replied to your post: 

"We'll see when this paint comes out."

“I c’n git the fuckin’ paint out if ya trust m’ ta wash yer damn hair n’ use a little alchemy maybe. Jus’ stop sayin’ m’fuckin’ middle name. You know that shit’s off limits. God baby.  I think’cha look good with some purple.” 

[alchemic-elric]

What's the worst memory you have of that homunculus you call a sister, Edward?

Personal Questions || Accepting 

“Easily when he almost took’er away. Easily.  We were at the train station. We jus’ got off. We’d been out chasin’ the stone like we normally do n’ Ly’ let go’a m’hand. I lost’er in the crowd. So I started lookin’ ‘round fer’er n’ I couldn’t find’er. I was still fine but m’heart started beatin’ real fast. 

Al stepped away from m’ ta see if ‘e’could find’er any better than m’. He c’n see right ov’r the crowd after all. That’s when I saw’im. Cold blue eyes starin’ back at m’ n’ I knew.  I panicked. I jus’ started screamin’er name. I didn’t think. The only thing in m’mind was findin’er. That’s all I cared ‘bout. 

Findin’ Ly’.  

I was terrified. He was ‘ere n’ ‘e was gunna take’er away. I screamed until m’throat felt raw n’ then I screamed some more. So many people were starin’ at m’ but I didn’t care. I jus’ started askin’ people if they saw’er. I got the whole platform lookin’. ‘e wasn’t gittin’ outta there without someone doin’ sum’hin’. I c’n still ‘memeber frantically tellin’ ev’ryone I could ‘I lost m’little sister! C’n you ‘elp m’find’er?’  

Al found’er thank fuck but I was...scared. I was so scared ‘e was gunna git’er....that ‘e ws gunna take’er away from us. That still scares m’ honestly. I’ll fight ‘fore I ev’r let’im touch’er.”