While the notion of John being this big dominate mean older daddy is prevalent and what most ppl think about when making dadson content with him and his sons. I think it's way more in character for him to be pathetic and lurking, never outright saying what he wants but still prowling on the edge, waiting for a crack in his boys' defenses.
For Sam, it's when he's been scrapped raw by the world. Maybe a bad hunt, maybe John yelled at him too long, but now he's all huddled up in his portion of the room, quiet and desperate for anyone to listen. To give him a reason to exist. And just as John breaks everything, he comes back to fix it with wimpy sorries, quiet talks in the dead of night, maybe a shared beer. Hold him on ways too close, too sentimental, too gental for a man like John. And he simply takes it.
With Dean, there isn't much of a method. Half of the time, the boy comes to him. Something empty and tired behind his eyes as he crawls up next to his dad im bed during late nights for some form of praise, in need to be used to prove his worth. No talks, little to no beer. Just one look and the tilt of Dean's head and john knows he ready to be plucked raw and tossed aside in the morning.
And in the end, he always gets what he wants and feels a bit of him die each time because he knows all he does is take and take and fucking take.
