Jul 28, 2020
I hate when I'm getting into a fic and realize the author wrote it solely to yell at All Might. So disappointing, and I am ridiculously overprotective of that sunflower man.
See also people bitching about Izuku’s notebooks.
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I hate when I'm getting into a fic and realize the author wrote it solely to yell at All Might. So disappointing, and I am ridiculously overprotective of that sunflower man.
See also people bitching about Izuku’s notebooks.
Ever been so touch starved you can literally feel your skin aching. I thought I was touch starved before, but losing my cats who constantly cuddled me...I’m going crazy.
If telling the truth will ruin your relationship, then it’s probably not a great relationship.
My sweet Lavender died tonight at 9 2/1/2020. She’s been my child for 17 years and often times my only friend and companion. She has often served as comforting fur to cry on, or a great cuddles. I have loved her more than anyone or anything in the world. We have a unique bond and in 17 years never spent more than 3 months apart. I feel like a piece of me is missing. In my darkest moments I always knew I had her and she wouldn’t judge me or call me fat or lazy or anything else. She loved me best. She was my best girl and if there is such a thing as reincarnation I hope god will give her back to me in a daughter someday. I know this seems like just another person losing a pet but if I can impress upon you the gorgeous soul we have lost tonight you would weep with me. She was good and funny and so so precious. I love you, Lavender. Please give your animals a kiss from me and never, never take that gift of gods unconditional love forgranted.
The worse moments are when I forget she’s gone. Like I leave my door open and then worry she got out for a split second, or I check my bed to make sure I’m not going to accidentally lay on her again, or I check her water bowl that I still haven’t emptied because I can’t bear doing it. It’s waking up and forgetting, reaching out across the bed searching for her. It’s having a crying jag and not having her come up and insist to be held. It’s seeing something gray from the corner of my eye and being certain she’s there. She has been in my life for 17 years. I was 10 when I got her. I named her after Lavender Brown because she had to have a Harry Potter name but I didn’t like the name Hermione and Minerva never occurred to me. I remember her bendy little ribs when I picked her up. I remember her always preferring me and knowing from the moment I saw her that she was mine. She lived in six states and she was with me when I lost friends and when my grandmothers died in 2010 and in 2015. Lavie had the prettiest eyes and the softest fur. She could be a little brat and she was always clawing me everywhere, I still have scratches. But she was my brat. I can’t get her face as she was dying out of my mind. I was right there the whole time but I’m not sure she could see me or feel me. I hope she could. I hope she knew I love her more than anyone or anything. I really hope she knew she was the most important creature in the entire universe to me. She really, really was.
So, I’m in the really scary side of depression where I have nothing to look forward to at all. No one to love. No friends I see or can even make myself talk to. No family I’m comfortable with. I can’t even be proud of my writing because no one wants to see my original work. I’m just really profoundly not okay. Just not okay.
Ah, form letter rejection, we meet again.
I miss my sweet Beth! Still holding out hope even though I don’t watch the show anymore, she’ll always have a place in my heart!!!