This is ‘last night together’ for @thewitcherbog Angst Bingo card! It’s my first bingo and its quite fun so far! also thanks to @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde for the beta and validation
Pairing: Yenralt
CW: i mean. its based off All I Ask by Adele so theres that, Yennefer want’s to break the djinn magic and there’s the whole ‘unknown’ of whether or not they’ve been living a lie for decades.
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“So it's actually possible?” Geralt’s voice sounded smaller than Yennefer had ever heard it. Even when they’d thought they’d lost their daughter, he’d kept his strength, bolstered it with anger, but this? He was helpless. And he knew they both were.
Yennefer swallowed hard and nodded, handing Geralt the letter with directions to where and how they could lift the djinn magic that had held them so close for so many years, “It is.”
The defeat and fear was clear in Geralt’s face as he read over the letter. She knew he was scared and riddled with guilt, and to be fair, so was she, but she needed to know. Even if it broke both of their hearts, even if it only broke hers.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, wiping his hand over his face as he set the paper down.
Biting back her anger, Yennefer kept her tone as neutral as possible, “I know.”
“No- I really am. I didn’t-”
“I know Geralt. I’ve heard your thoughts on the matter a thousand times. I still need to know. I need,” she paused to take a calming breath before she launched into another rage fueled lecture, her voice cracking as she finished her thought, “I need to know if I love you… if y-you…”
“I do.”
“You don’t know that,” She snapped, snatching the letter off the table he was sat at and pacing as she read it over for the millionth time. She’d memorized it down to the punctuation days ago, but it took twice as long to get the courage to show Geralt. The idea that he really could have loved Triss or the poor broken hearted poet sickened her, both with jealousy and guilt. In the end, she wanted her choice. She always wanted her choice.
Geralt stood and slowly walked to her side, gently brushing her hair over her shoulder, “I love you right now. I want to love you.”
“What if I don’t? Hm? What if neither of us do? Who are we to turn to? What-” Yennefer turned away, blinking tears away as she nearly gagged on her vulnerability, “What if I never love again?”
Her words hung in the air for far too long. She could barely breathe as she fought her tears and cursed her own stubbornness. Geralt stood in silence, his hand resting on her shoulder as his thumb brushed gently back and forth over the soft fabric of her sleeves. His touch was always so calming, grounding even in her earliest memories of him. But how much of that was genuine and how much was the djinn magic coloring her perceptions?
With a deep shuddering breath she turned to him, resting her hands on his chest and letting herself lean into the comfort she found, “If this is to be our last night, at least hold me like your lover. Like I’m not just your friend. Please?”
The frown Geralt wore couldn’t disguise the want in his eyes, nor the tears or thickness to his voice when he spoke, “You think that will help? Pretending we aren’t scared?”
A tear trickled down Yennefer’s cheek as she bit her lip and nodded, “Something to remember… if…” She couldn’t say it, but Geralt knew.
When he kissed the tear from her cheek she felt something break deep in her gut, sliding her hand up his neck to tangle in his hair for what could be the last time. Never in her life had she been so distraught by a relationship ending. Not with her most passionate flings, not with Istredd, no one. It mattered how this ended, she realized, as Geralt laid her down on what they had called their bed for years. On what could only belong to her come the morning.
