forged in fire pt 1
Summary: Dan is consumed with keeping their relationship a secret. His intensity never stops escalating. He destroys anything that poses even the slightest threat and over time he transforms into a warped shell of who he was. Phil is somewhat afraid of him. Dan has inadvertently ruined himself and the thing he sought to protect. This fic is his downward spiral. Angst angst angst angst angst
”God, Phil, everyone has seen it everyone everywhere online is shouting at us what are we supposed to about this.” “Dan, calm down.” “I can’t calm down… Phil… Phil, what are we supposed to do… I can’t do this.” Dan sobbed and Phil just held onto him trying to think of anything that might comfort him. “This doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” Phil says after a while has passed, “I know we weren’t ever going to but maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing to come out. I don’t think it would hurt us that much.. it’ll still be you and me we can do anything.” “No, that’s the thing. Phil, I love you so much,” Dan’s voice was very intense as he spoke, “I share so much of myself on the internet; now I only have this one thing left for myself. I need to protect it. Anything can happen in our lives but we’ll still be Together it’s the only constant, the only thing I have any control over and I’m not going to risk it. I’m not going to let this relationship get polluted by anything else. It has to stay just you and me. That’s all I need to survive. Like you said, the two of us can get through anything.” “…Alright, but what are we going to do about the video?” “It’s still a prank. I’ll deny ‘phan’ to my grave. I’ll get nasty with anyone who asks me about it. From now on, we’re barely friends. And we’ve got to annihilate anyone who posts that video as soon as they post it. It’s the only choice we have.” “This is going to be a lot of work but I’m with you, Dan. I just want you to be happy.” —– Dan corners Chris after the ‘I Can’t Even: Geek Week Special”. Phil reluctantly accompanies him. “What you said back there about us getting married is unacceptable. I don’t understand why anyone who claims to be a friend of ours would publicly sabotage us like that. How are we supposed to have anybody’s respect if our supposed friend uses us as a punchline? Don’t ever speak to either of us again. We’re done.” “Goodbye, Chris,” Phil adds. He knows Dan is right to be angry but he can’t help but feel he’s being a bit overzealous. Surely the three of them will be hanging out again after a couple weeks. Dan’s quiet the whole ride home. Phil takes that to mean it’ll blow over. He’s wrong. As soon as they get in the flat Dan starts ranting what he had apparently been holding in. Apparently he kept quiet in the cab in case the driver was intently listening. “We can’t trust anybody. I thought Chris was a good friend. I thought he had a sense of the boundaries. I can’t believe he did that.” “It was just a joke, if he knew it would upset you he probably wouldn’t of done it. It’s not like he knows we really are couple.” “Phan is a rumor, a distraction, not something to be publicly addressed or speculated upon. We’re selling amazingphil and danisnotonfire. If a person doesn’t understand something that basic we need to cut them out. From now on I want to limit how much we collaborate and hang out with other youtubers. I want to cut off anyone we don’t need, and we don’t need anyone. We’ll make appearances occasionally so we’re not pariahs but that is it.” “Dan I think you might be blowing this whole thing out of proportion-” Dan’s fire switched off in the blink of an eye. “Come on, enough of this. Let’s go watch the new episode of Game of Thrones,” he said, “Can you pretty please make us some hot chocolate?” “Yeah, of course,” Phil agrees. Dan smiles and kisses him briefly. “You’re the best. I love you.” “I love you, too.” —– “Dan, there’s no reason for us to rent separate hotel rooms we live and work together it’s not that suspicious for us to share. You could even get a hotel room with two beds in it if you want.”
“No, someone might see us going into the same room. Someone will see us through the window. Maybe the hotel hallways have security cameras. People can hack those. We’re getting separate rooms.” Phil was so tired.
