Possibilities
Keegan Russ Fanfic
TW: Mentions Death, Delirium, Depression, Starvation. Mentions Blood.
Angsty Fanfic
Gif by graysnetwork
"It's been approximately 2 months since they gave me the news of your death. Now I sit in my room looking out the window. I was put on medical leave for the time being until further notice."
"Why do I do this to myself?"
"Oh yeah that's right because you promised me you would come home."
"At least now I can be alone and not have everyone on the fucking TF ask me if I'm okay and if I want to talk about it."
"it"
"Fucking It"
"Just leave me alone Keegan"
"You're not real. You're dead"
"You died two months ago."
"You're just a figment of my imagination"
"Don't talk like that Kid, I'm here with you."
Keegan walked towards her kneeling down in front of her chair. Reaching out to touch her face, he stroked her face.
Tilting his head he gazed at her with a confused scowl on his face. Retracting his hand he sighed loudly.
"Please look at me kid. I promised you I would never leave you alone."
"yeah, you promised.........but you're dead."
"leave me alone. Go haunt someone else."
"don't talk like that kid"
Shuffling in her chair she continued to look out the window. Sighing softly wiping away the tears that fell onto her cheeks. Sniffling softly hiding her face with her sleeves. Pale cheeks, dry mouth, her weak frail body recovering slowly from the bruises she had from her past injuries.
In her delirious state she started to sing softly.
"so if you really want to know"
"when I'm away from you"
"I'm happier then ever"
"wish I could explain it better"
"please don't talk like that."
Keegan sighed heavily with tears falling down his cheeks onto his mask. He stood up balling his fist up walking away he passed a mirror only to catch his reflection.
"This can't be"
Touching his chest he saw the blood that covered his chest and stomach. His mask covered in tiny speckled burns.
"what happened to me"
"you died and it was my fault. I didn't make it in time. If I had turned back I would have stopped the RPG from hitting the house you were taking cover in."
"I lost you Keegs. It's all my fault."
"You promised me that we would walk away from this life and start new away from all the fighting and gore. Just me and you."
"why did I have to live. I should've gone with you."
"My wings have been clipped."
"Now look at me. I'm wasting away sitting in my room watching meaningless TV while they buried you."
"Why does it hurt so much when you fall in love.
Keegan looked down at his gloved hands. looking back to her. Those beautiful eyes that held her heart of gold was now replaced with emptiness and darkness.
"why can't I remember that day."
"I don't know Keegs."
"leave me be. Go haunt someone else."
"I can't watch you leave, not again."
"I don't want to watch you leave. But I can't promise you that I'll not starve myself."
Looking down at her bandaged hands she couldn't cry anymore. She had been crying since day one. Now it's been two months. In her vegetative state she had an IV line connected to her left arm. Feeling the cold shivers running up her spine that gave her comfort in a way that she couldn't explain.
"Sparrow.....baby please look at me....... Please"
"Please look at me...."
"Leave me alone!"
"You're Dead! Its All In My Head!"
Keegan stopped calling to her. He stood in silence. Looking down at the white tile floors he exhaled loudly.
"I'll be here. I'm gonna be here when you need me"
Meanwhile Outside Her Room.
"Captain here's her chart."
Doctor Adams handed Captain Price her chart.
"How has she been Doc?"
Price look over her chart reading line for line. Her psychiatric evaluation was blank. She's unresponsive to all the test and refuses treatment.
"Not good, she's progressively getting worse in this state. She stopped talking. She's becoming more and more delirious. She is starting to have an ongoing conversation alone."
With a heavy sigh Doctor Adams pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Looking into her room he saw her sitting in front of the window with her IV stand beside her chair.
"She finally snapped Captain. This kind of loss in soldiers is very common."
"Does she have any family."
Looking to Captain Price he waited patiently for him to answer.
"No, the TF is the closest thing she has to family."
Exhaling silently Price watched her sit in her room. Looking back to Doctor Adams he chewed his inner cheek thinking what to say. He thought carefully about what to say.
"Captain this isn't gonna get any better anytime soon, she needs to be on constant round the clock care. Dealing with this kind of trauma isn't easy."
"Look Doc, I'm gonna say this as polite as possible."
"People like us put our lives on the line for people like you to go home to your loves ones and go to bed without fear in the world that what ever war that is happening out there doesn't come through your door or windows."
"Men and Women like her make those sacrifices."
"Stick to what you know Moppet"
Price entered the room. Looking around her bare white room. The only color that stood out was dead wilted flowers and her comforter that covered her bed.
She sat in her chair in front of the window staring outside. Clearing his throat she didn’t a knowledge his presence.
“Sparrow”
“Don’t call me that, Please”
Holding back her tears, and sobs biting down on her fist she swallowed thickly and harshly. Her sniffles echoed in the room.
“Okay”
Price took his hat off looking down. Thinking about what he was gonna say to her. Licking his lips he exhaled softly.
“He use to call me that. It’s just Mara now”
"Mara"
"It's been a while since I called you by your real name."
Price walked towards the window. Looking outside before him is the hospital court yard full of flowers a few nurses and patients.
"Why are you here Captain?"
"I don't want your condolences. I can't listen to another person say his name or talk about him."
"Nothing you guys say to me is new. Nothing New."
"Spare me the memories of him. I can't go through that again."
Mara stood up quickly tears filling her eyes. Taking a step forward she grabbed Captain Price. Her feeble body shivered with pain. Price held her frail body in his arms. Feeling her body tremble she started to cry in his arms. Feeling her tears soak into his shirt he held her close to his chest. Patting her back he consoled her till she fell asleep in his arms.
"Mara I will do what I can to help you."
"Sparrow, look at me please. I promised you I will always be with you. I'm not going anywhere."
"Baby please for me. Please let someone help you. I can't stand by while you're wasting away and I can't help you."
"Sparrow my girl please"
"You'll always be my girl."