#angstyyyyyy

[pinknumnumnum]

Wait if this pic happens during breakfast

Then…

[i-couldnt-leave-my-best-girl]

King Again

Word Count: 1,500 approx

Warnings: MAJOR ANGST, character death.

A/N: I drew inspiration from this song, King by Lauren Aquilian. This is sad y’all. Please like/comment/reblog if you enjoy it!!

Peter stared at the door to your room. Your parents watched him from the kitchen, hearts breaking even more as he struggled to step forward. They had dealt with the same thing, about two weeks ago, when they finally made themselves open your door and accept that you were never coming back.

Peter took a deep breath and wrapped his hand around the door knob. He froze again. He wasn’t ready. It was too soon. You couldn’t really be gone. He was going to open that door and you’d be lying on your bed, reading one of your favorite novels.

That image filled his brain and before he could remind himself that that would never be again, he threw open the door. A loud sob ripped out of him as he saw how.. empty your room felt. How lifeless it was. He clamped a hand over his mouth to stay quiet as he forced himself further into your room.

He couldn’t help how he had to touch all of your favorite things as he walked by. Your bookshelf, overflowing with books. Your stuffed animal that you had since you were a baby, that you could never find it in you to put away. Your favorite sweatshirt of his was draped over your desk chair and Peter immediately picked it up. He slipped it over his head and was overwhelmed by your smell.

He couldn’t help the tears that spilled over. His heart felt like it broke even more as he sat on your bed. Everything was how you left it, but there was a major feeling that something was missing. That something was you- but Peter had grown accustomed to that ache in his heart. He had felt that when Uncle Ben died but you had been there for him during that time.

Peter stared at your window, remembering the countless times he had crept through it late at night. He felt his heartache like a physical pain, and he knew it would never go away. Peter couldn’t help the onslaught of cries that came, instead opting to bury his face in your pillow. He couldn’t bear to cause your parents more pain, knowing that they loved him like a son.

He lay there for felt like forever, until he ran out of tears. He sat up, wiping his eyes and nose before sliding off your bed. He passed your desk again, his eyes snagging on an envelope with his name written in your normal scrawl.

He traced his name several times before working up the nerve to open the envelope. He took several deep breaths before he began to read.

My darling Peter-

By the time your reading this, I’m probably dead. You’d think writing that would freak me out, but it brings me a weird sense of peace. When you only have two weeks to accept the fact that you’re going to die, you get used to saying it pretty quick. I’m getting off track.

I’m sorry- for a lot. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. When I found out, my first thought was to tell you. I realized that was selfish though. I know you, and I know you would have wanted to spend every waking moment with me (not that I would have complained) but you have a duty that I couldn’t distract you from. I didn’t want to you to worry, and I knew there was nothing you could do, so I wanted to keep that pain from you. My parents tried to be strong for me, but I know they were struggling. I just needed to be treated normally, and you gave me that. So thank you.

I’m sorry that I didn’t get to say goodbye. That’s something that I know is the worst. I still cry at night when I think of the time Rufus was put down suddenly when I was on a trip and couldn’t get home. I’m sure this is going to be so much worse, and I’m sorry that I had to leave you with this. I was weak and couldn’t work up the nerve to say it before you left tonight. So instead, I kissed you longer and said “I love you!” So many times before you swung off to be a hero.

When I woke up this morning, I knew that I wouldn’t be here tomorrow. The pain in my chest was the worst it had been. But I didn’t tell anyone. I just went about my day as usual. Maybe my parents suspected. They stayed up later than usual with me, playing games, reminiscing, listening to my favorite music, and watching all my favorite things. I hugged them longer and made sure they knew I loved them. I wrote them letters first, cause I knew this one would be the hardest since you didn’t know.

I made sure I pet both Rudy and Belle extra. It was painful. They seemed to know something was wrong with me and they snuggled with me a lot. That was first time I cried today. I couldn’t stomach the thought of letting them sleep with me tonight and having them wake up with me dead. Have you read those articles about how dogs deal with the loss of their owners? Well I just did, and needless to say, that made me cry so much more.

After I’m done with this, I’m gonna climb up on the roof and stare at the stars for the last time. That makes me sad to realize. I’m glad Mom and Dad took us to the beach the other day instead of school. Seeing the stars and smelling the sea air while cuddling with you is something that if I had more time, I’d want to do all the time. Maybe, as I sit on the roof, I’ll catch one more glance of you swinging through the night.

I’m so proud of you, Pete. So proud. You continuously do the right thing, to the point where you seem to just know what is right and what is wrong. You are the kindest person I know. You have made me so unbelievably happy my whole life- even when we were just friends. Thank you for being the best thing in my life. You are the love of my life.

I know this is going to hit you hard, my death. I want to remind you to cherish your loved ones; May, Tony, Ned, etc. Love those who you still have. I know this is a lot to ask but, please don’t cry for me.You don't gain a single thing from misery, take it from me. Remember the good times. Find love again. Be happy. Take comfort in your family. Don’t do what I anticipate you doing; throwing yourself into danger and simply not caring what will happen. You deserve better than that.

As much I as don’t want to admit it, I’m scared, Pete. I don’t know what to expect. I don’t want to leave you and my parents and my animals and all my friends. Wherever I go after though, I’m going to find your parents and your uncle Ben and we’re gonna talk all about the amazing things you’ve done and the wonderful person you’ve become. I’ll watch over you and I’ll anxiously wait for the day I can see you again. That better not be for a long time, Peter, I mean it.

This letter is a lot of rambling. There’s just so much on my mind and I’m used to just telling you. Looks like I did that one last time. If I’m wrong and I wake up tomorrow morning, I think I’ll write a better letter. I hope I do… I want to do so much still. But, if not, then that’s okay. I’m honored to have known and loved you. On the brightside, I’ll be able to see Rufus again. There’s light even in the darkest of times, right?

Will you check in on my parents still? Maybe have lunch with them every once in a while or something? They love you so much.

I love you, I love you, I love you! I love you to the stars and back, and I’ll love you forever. Remember me, Peter Parker.

With love,

Y/N L/N

Peter felt simultaneously more saddened and felt some of that pain lift. He didn’t know that he could follow through with everything you had asked of him; finding love again was not an option, but he could take care of himself, for you.

Wiping the tears that had slipped down his face, he peeked his head out of your room. “Mr and Mrs L/N, do you want to go out to eat? And catch up?”

Your parents exchanged glances, surprised by his questions, before your mom replied, “We would love to, Peter.”

[dateahufflepuffwho]

Date a Hufflepuff who is really angsty

[rexalexander-deactivated]

∞

Well how was I to knowThat what we carved in stoneWould be so temporary?

Teenagers - Hayley Williams

put a “∞” in my ask box and I’ll shuffle my iTunes and give you my fav lyric from the song that comes up

[fellfortheboy]

'Rachel you kissed him!' 'It didn't mean anything... it... i'm sorry' 'We're done Rach.'  'Sam... no...' 

[pintamefuriaroja-blog]

I could quote Chambao but nah whatever

Okay. Any day now, I might disappear into the snow. Because it's snowing

Non

Fucking

Stop.

It's not that I don't like snowfall or snow... but honestly ...

IT'S ENOUGH.

And I miss summer so bad, I was sitting at the local bar/café with my friend, Spanish music on the background, talking about travelling...

OK I'M VERY ANGSTY RN

Listening to Chambao and Camarón, dreaming of walking down a street in Sevilla, orange trees in blossom...

I'm losing my hope. But I know it's only a temporary thing, I am usually full of hope.

Dunno why I'm writing this.