#anoff

[calumbringbackthewatermelonshirt]

anyone wanna talk?

im hella bored. send me an ask with a blurb, how you day was, or even just a random question. anon or anoff

[bongkillua]

6 tucker and konami 8 konami aaaand 13 konami (today is the day of konamis)

thank god bc i need to work on konami lore more hehehe

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

TUCKER: tucker cared more about labels in the past but has kind of given up on them by the time the wolfsbane narrative is over. he had to be really assertive of his identity when he was younger because he had to defend it a Lot and ur much more believable if you have a Solid Set Of Words u use to define urself. even now though he definitely asserts his masculinity a lot more than jord or xander do and is more picky about the terms you use to refer to him but it’s also like. he thought he was a gay man and then he caught feelings for xander who says a different gender every time you ask so he also recognizes that even the labels he does use are kinda up to interpretation lol. i feel like he still chooses to introduce himself as a gay man when asked even though that’s straight up not how he identifies he just doesn’t feel like explaining everything bc he’s had to defend himself for so long. and if you assume something else before he can explain the stranger-friendly version of himself he’s just going to shrug and go along with it. in terms of like general feelings on labels again he understands the importance of them but is also Definitely going to forget any intricacies you try to explain to him especially if ur a stranger. like he just cannot be bothered to care. like definitely a “just give me your pronouns because i’ll fucking forget everything else sorry.” kind of guy. if someone else tries to start shit though he Will defend the fuck out of someone using Whatever Damn Labels They Please even if he barely knows you.

KONAMI: ok i had to like literally think about konamis entire personality arc for this. so like right after death when he finally starts connecting with people again (tucker and xander), konami thinks labels are really cool even though he doesn’t know what any of them mean. i feel like he likes the idea of being able to explain himself with a Word because they have to relearn themself from the ground up. i think in terms of sexuality he probably re-finds and identifies with “bisexual” pretty quickly bc as much as konami struggles with emotions and how to deal with them he is Very in tune with his preferences especially in regard to people. gender is a whole other can of worms though. pre-death hes very sure of his gender but after dying he forgot his own identity and loses touch with all the stuff he connected with before. he probably spends a lot of time picking people apart about their labels to see if he can Relate To That Too! id imagine it leads to a lot of “i think that’s cool i want to be that too”/“i don’t care about that i would never identity that way.” and very little of it is truly Genuine. over time though as he learns more people’s experiences and understands his own more he starts to genuinely hold some labels close. think a lot of them are related to Concepts like “computer” and “electricity” bc once he realizes that his gender can be Things as opposed to these weird ideas of femininity and masculinity that he just cannot relate to he starts to understand the whole Gender Thing more. BOY though. Boy is his favorite word. that’s their One Gender Word that they relate to so much they don’t want anyone else to have it. He is the Only Boy.

8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?

KONAMI: post-death, yeah, but not so much to do with queerness as just identity in general. sorry these answers are gonna be rly similar because it’s hard to explain one without the other. anyways their pre-death life doesn’t feel like theirs to the point where they can’t identify themself in old pictures and obviously that does a lot of weird things to your identity. but for the sake of sticking with queerness he wakes up as a ball of energy in the shape of a body which has been altered (konami got top surgery and was on t pre death and those changes stick upon death) but somehow it still feels… right? and on top of all of that he literally like Can’t grasp the concept of gender because he forgets everything and doesn’t have any frame of reference for like. what gender is. his only frame of reference is Himself which is already gender weird both in presentation and feeling. it’s a really unique experience to have because, like, his struggle doesn’t come from any sort of cishetnormativity being imposed onto him but rather the feeling of Loss from once having an identity and seeing the marks it left behind and no longer being able to understand what got him there. i think it makes him upset because he really Wants to know himself ESPECIALLY when he’s “reintroduced” to who he was before death but he just can’t make the connections. i don’t think he shows it at All though and just sorta avoids the question when it comes up or makes a joke out it/insincerely agrees or disagrees based on how he thinks he Should identify. being surrounded by trans people definitely makes his journey to finding his own identity more Genuine but also makes it a lot longer of a ride. sexuality is a whole different story though LOL as i said before he’s very sure of what he Likes and once someone is like “yeah the word for that is usually bisexual” he’s like cool so i’m DEEEFINITELY bisexual. no struggle there.

13. Would your oc be open to a poly relationship? Why or why not?

KONAMI: i answered this previously but no i think konami is a very monogamous guy. first of all he’s extremely territorial and doesn’t like sharing because he’s been denied connection for so long. this like. is Not the best thing for a relationship but by the time he’s actually to the point where he can connect to people in that way again he’s gotten over it a lot but probably still wouldn’t want to Share a Partner. he’s just very Devoted. even pre-death he was very similar he was a super devoted and loving partner. and a lot of the way that he connects with people is like. one on one experiences and communication and referential stuff so polyamory just wouldn’t make sense to him.

these answers are so damn rambly i’m sorry lol. i like talking about konami though he’s definitely the least fleshed out of the main four at this point. need to fix that.

[bongkillua]

xander 7 tucker 4!! aaaand 19

XANDER: 7. Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?

OHHHHH MY GODDDDDDD okay so yeah xanders identity has changed a lot over the years.

this question is rly good bc there’s a rly big difference between “questioning” and “changing” . xander changes his identity a lot-he’s bigender but even beyond that he likes being what people want from him, whether that be in regards to his gender or her sexuality. but because he’s always changing he doesn’t question his true identity a lot. there’s only been like a few times where life events that have forced him to self reflect and change himself.

i just wrote and then deleted an entire paragraph because it gave away a ton about xanders backstory LOL but tldr 30-50 years before the wolfsbane narrative xander identities as a binary trans guy. he presents almost exclusively feminine but it’s all a performance due to [life circumstances]. his need to perform for survival caused him to completely lose touch with his own femininity which is why he identified that way. but then like [the horrors] happen and he has to completely rewrite himself to avoid the law and when he finally stumbled into some sort of security (with the help of a very very loving drag community and also tucker’s weird gender presentation), she actually starts to think about her own femininity again and how a performance can still be personal in a way? xanders whole story reflects my struggles with dissociation and identity and the resolution is accepting that he can inhabit multiple different roles/personalities/lives and for all of them to be genuine. idk. i could say a lot more but i don’t want to completely spoil everything lol!

TUCKER: 4. Is your oc's environment supportive about their identity? How does this impact them?

umm ok so tucker’s OLD environment was very unaccepting both of his queerness and just of him as a person lol. werewolves are interesting critters though bc they naturally have an over abundance of testosterone so tucker like. passes before he comes out but his father is still very angry about the way he identifies. it makes for a rly strange social experience where he isn’t accepted but still, for the most part, looks the way he wants to? but yes tucker’s dad is a piece of shit it’s like the biggest conflict tucker faces in the pre-narrative. he escapes to jordan’s house a lot because jordan’s dad was RLY COOL and even after he dies jordan’s mom kinda sucks but she’s like fine with the whole queer thing.

umm CURRENTLY tucker’s environment is a LOT better obviously. like better than he is lol. tucker struggles with internalized shit for a lot of the early narrative and when ur only friend is xander it tends to come out a lot lol. but one of the first things xander does for tucker is just completely pay for his top surgery because he’s hiring tucker to be a performer and tuckers a lot better of a performer when his body doesn’t make him want to kill himself all the time.

from there tucker still has a lot of repression to work through (a lot of it moreso to do with being a werewolf but i explain why that’s the same as internalized queerphobia below lol) and xander forces him to get into drag to help learn to accept himself. from there it’s pretty smooth sailing in the queerness boat and post-narrative is just about their queer liberated future where tucker gets to just ride the ebbs and flows of his identity and doesn’t have to like. fucking worry about it. most conflict he has with his queerness at that point is deciding what kind of bottom surgery he wants. lol.

19. Do you have preferences about depicting homo/transphobia in your stories? What, and why? Does it vary by story?

this is actually really interesting. i tend to try and stay period-accurate but i usually don’t make homo/transphobia the, like, biggest conflict in the story. I also often prefer metaphors for queerphobia over actual homo/transphobia because i think it’s more productive to discuss how a fear of queerness impacts people as opposed to just depicting, like, surface level hate crimes.

for example: tuckers dad is extremely hostile towards tuckers gender and sexuality. like, blatantly. but the more prevalent conflict between them is tucker’s dad’s anger over not being able to control tucker, and to form tucker into the perfect werewolf. this conflict would still exist even if tucker wasn’t queer, and would still probably come across as queerphobia (“don’t act like that or people will think you’re gay!”). when tucker finally leaves that environment he struggles to accept his identity as a werewolf and his ability to love others but again those struggles reflect and include his actual queerness (how he feels about xander, how he feels about jordan. Weird Body Stuff that just makes him feel Bad). the way that discrimination against monsters is portrayed and the way that monsters deal with their own identities often mimics queerphobia, and then is made deeper by the actual inclusion of queer characters. hopefully that makes sense.

all of my other stories are a lot less fleshed out than wolfsbane but still follow a similar vein of thinking. i guess my fantasy stuff doesn’t have as much of the blatant queerphobia; since there’s no way to be “period accurate” it doesn’t really make sense to make queerphobia exist in the same ways. but the conflict still arises from people trying to instill a certain set of beliefs or norms into a group and that ultimately leading to a worse world, which is like. a queer line of thinking among many other things.

[bongkillua]

SEVEN TEN AND TWENTY-ONE!!!

7. what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

the sea otters!! i love those little guys. also whatever Big Thang that they have (sharks, whales, big as fuck turtles). i like looking at large beasts and getting really scared.

10. on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice?

depends on the day ig? probably apple juice bc airplane orange juice tends to taste More like its from a concentrate and i dont rly like that flavor even tho i like orange juice more. i dont mind the weird concentrate flavor with apple juice tho.

21. a number that weirds you out?

i answered dis in the notes of the prev ask but 4 and 6 weird me out but 5 being between them makes things ok. 51 and 17 are unforgivable numbers though. why are they divisible.

[bongkillua]

sorry you wanted it anonymous. um ur stupid

thank you <3 *crytypes*

[bongkillua]

🗺️ What hxh locations would you want to visit?

WHALE ISLAND!!! it’s so pretty and seems so peaceful :-)) plus all the little shops at the pier are soo cute only problem is i have a debilitating fear of the ocean so idk how i’d get there LOL

[bongkillua]

neopronouns killua is on a poop reblogging arc! good for xe, good for xe

PLEASEEEE I WAS HIGH LAST NIGHT AND MY ROOMMATE FORCED ME TO ABIDE BY MY LAUGH RULE I DIDNT WANT TOOOOOO 😭😭😭

[bongkillua]

do you believe that you need dysphoria to be trans

no next question