For @anon8771, because people, and research papers due on Saturday, suck.
(Also on ao3 here)
IRL friends, as always, don’t read.
AN: Ok, this is my first (and probs last omg) mpreg (only anon8771 could inspire me to write that). S/G, 3.2k, it could probably have stood to be 3k more, but I wanted to get it out today. Please to enjoy.
At one time, Sidney would have said certain days during his concussion recovery were the worst of his life…mostly because he didn’t know if he would recover, at least not enough to play hockey. But as he looks at the two blue lines on the stick he peed on three minutes before, he’s pretty sure this one beats them all.
He calls Pat first. Then he calls his doctor. Then he calls his mom.
“Listen, Sid,” Pat says. “They can’t trade you for this. We’ve got it built into the contract. The language is tricky, but it’s there. Talk to your doctor. We’ll figure it out.”
The doctor gets him in immediately, and promises expedited test results by the next morning. Sid forgets to thank him when he leaves.
His mom cries. He thinks they’re happy tears, mostly. “Oh, Sidney. A baby is a blessing. Everything will be okay.” He hears a voice in the background and his father’s voice comes over the line.
“How’d this happen, kid?”
“Uh, the usual way, I guess?”
“Don’t be a smartass. I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.”
“I’m not—I’m—I was. But he left. It’s been a couple of months. If it’s true, if the results confirm that I’m…you know…I’ll be seven weeks along probably.”
“It’s gonna be rough. It’d be better if there was someone there to help you deal with it.”
“Yeah, Dad. I’ll get right on that.” Sid knuckles at his eyes, desperately wishing for a beer. Troy sighs.
“Your mother’s right. It’s going to be okay. We’re with you, Sid. We love you.”
“I love you too, Dad.”
When he hangs up, he gathers his gear and heads to UPMC, because for all the commotion of the morning, it’s only 10:30 and practice starts at 11. He checks in with the team doctor and trainer, makes up some bullshit about a shoulder situation he wants to monitor, and gets the sign off for the no-contact jersey. Johnston doesn’t look happy, but then, he never really does. The rest of the team asks a couple questions, but mostly he’s left alone. Geno calls him a lazy shit, but hovers around him until it’s time to go to the ice. He skates, does simple drills, lets Johnston’s tacit disapproval wash over him as he takes everything at half speed.
Jen keeps the media away after practice. Sid changes, drives home, naps. Wakes up, eats, turns on the TV to the Golf channel just for something to look at. When he finds himself relaying a steady stream of commentary to his belly, he tamps down the panic, shuts off the TV, and goes to bed. It’s not even 8 o’clock.
He doesn’t sleep and he tries not to think. But he can’t help feeling young and dumb and scared. His season is over. Possibly his career. The fans will hate him. He’s letting the team down. Rutherford’s going to try to trade him, no matter what Pat says. The media are going to be vicious. He misses Brian in a way that he hasn’t before, not even directly after the breakup. It hits him right in the chest, makes his mouth twist and his eyes water. He breathes heavy through it, doesn’t reach for his phone. His dad’s words ring in his ears How did this happen how did this happen how did this happen how did this happen.
He must sleep because he’s startled awake by his phone ringing. He feels an overwhelming sense of dread though he’s still too asleep to remember why.
“Hello?”
“Mr. Crosby?”
“Yeah.”
“This is Dr. Carter’s office. I’ve got Dr. Carter on the line for you.” Oh that’s why.
“Yeah. Put him on. Thanks.”
“Sid, this is Dr. Carter. I’m happy to be the first to congratulate you. You’re going to be a dad.”
~*~**~*~*~
Sid tells Mario first. Against Pat’s advice, he drives over to Mario’s unreasonably early and refuses to let Pat be on speaker phone during the conversation. Mario shakes his hand and claps him on the back. He calls in Nathalie to hear the good news. He says what a wonderful thing it is to be a father. He says Sid will have the support of the entire Penguins organization. And when he turns away, his mouth his tight, his eyes uneasy.
He tells Rutherford and Johnston next. Pat is on the phone for that conversation, and Mario is with him, too. Neither manager nor coach say much, but Sid can tell it’s only because of Mario. When Jen is called in, they agree to keep the pregnancy a secret from the media until the end of the second trimester. They’ve only played a month worth of games. Sid will miss the entire season.
After the meeting, Sid texts the core, inviting them over to his house for lunch. Most of them have plans for the rare off-day, but they all agree to come anyway.
Flower arrives first and says “You better not be dying” before Sid can even invite him in. Tanger and Kuni show up together. Geno, predictably, arrives a half hour after everyone else and grumbles because the cold cuts Sid set out have been picked over.
In some ways, delivering the news to his oldest teammates makes him more nervous than any of the others. He doesn’t want to see disappointment in their faces, doesn’t want to let them down when they were thinking they’d finally get him for a full season. But what he gets instead are enthusiastic handshakes and back slaps and hugs. Flower cries a little.
“It’s a beautiful thing, to be a dad,” he says, wiping at his eyes with one hand and shoving a laughing Kuni with the other. “You’re gonna be great.”
Only Geno seems reserved. Sid had worried over his reaction the most. Not that Geno didn’t know Sid liked men, but it hasn’t been something Sid has ever talked to him much about. Sid hasn’t necessarily tried to hide his boyfriends from Geno, but whenever he mentions them, Geno gets sullen and tends to ignore Sid. Sid had never mentioned Brian to him at all.
Tanger must notice Geno’s attitude because he grips him hard by the shoulder, gives him a little shake. “What do you say, Geno? Isn’t this great? Aren’t we happy?” He tries to keep his voice light, but Sid can hear the steel behind it, and braces himself for Geno’s response.
“Yes, of course. I’m so happy, Sid. It’s just crazy, you know? I’m not even know you date anyone. Who’s—” he licks his lips and seems to cast about for the right word. “Who’s other dad? Where is he?” The other three turn toward Sid at that.
“Yeah, where is Brian, Sid?” Tanger turns that steel Sid’s way. He ignores Geno’s incredulous you know this guy?! and holds Tanger’s gaze.
“I don’t know. I texted him this morning on the way to meet with management. Haven’t heard from him.”
“Fucking asshole,” Kuni says.
“Yeah,” Sid agrees and smiles for the first time in days.
~*~**~*~*~
Geno sticks around after the others leave. He follows Sid from room to room like a puppy, watching him pick up, before they finally settle on the couch together, the TV on low. Sid’s ready for Geno to leave. He’s so tired these days, all he wants is to take a nap. And before he does that, he has to call his sister to tell her the news, then the obstetrician to make his first appointment. There’s too much to do and he’s on the verge of a panic attack. He needs to sleep.
“Sid,” Geno finally says. “I’m not understand why you didn’t say about Brian. Why Flower, Kuni, and Tanger know but I’m have no clue.”
Sid sighs. “I don’t know, Geno. You never really like to hear about my boyfriends.”
“Not true!”
“It is true. And I liked Brian a lot, but I knew he wasn’t long term. We broke up two months ago, and we only dated for three or four months before that. It was during off season, there was no reason to tell you.”
Geno ponders that for a few minutes. Sid tries not to nod off.
“Why you not happy about baby?” That shakes him out of his doze.
“What? I’m happy. It’s great. I’ve always wanted kids.” He laughs, slightly hysterically. “I mean, I didn’t think I’d have them until after I finished playing. And, you know, I’d be married or in a committed relationship or something. And I really wish this wasn’t happening our first year with a new coach. But it’s going to be ok. Right?” He hates the note of fear in his voice, but this is Geno who was with him during the worst of the concussion. He’s been witness to Sid’s fear.
“Will be ok, promise. I’m help, and so will the others.” Geno leans over, puts his hand on Sid’s. The moment becomes almost uncomfortably intimate, but Sid clutches back like Geno’s thrown him a lifeline. “We got your back Sid. I have your back. Always.” He maneuvers them into an approximation of their handshake, touches his forehead to Sid’s, and stands up.
“Call me you need anything.” Geno grins, wide and joyful. “You having a baby, Sid. A baby.” And Sid can’t help but grin back.
~*~**~*~*~
After that, Sid’s life becomes a whirlwind of doctors’ appointments, light training, avoiding the media so they can’t see his growing belly, which even baggy clothing can barely hide now, and overturning his house so that it’s baby-ready. He reads every book he can find and asks his mom and Nathalie a million questions. He even calls up Nicklas Backstrom to find out what his pregnancy had been like two seasons ago. He stupidly believes Backstrom when he says he’ll keep Sid’s pregnancy to himself until the official announcement goes out in a couple weeks, and he curses him six ways to Sunday when a baby Capitals and baby Team Russia jersey show up on his doorstep. SO’s don’t count is Backstrom’s only reply to Sid’s furious text.
The only steadying presence in the entire ordeal, surprisingly to Sid, is Geno. When he can, he comes with Sid to his appointments, helps him pick out furniture, buys too many toys, and tries to keep Sid calm when he panics over the fact that he’s having a fucking kid all by himself.
“Not by yourself, Sid,” he says for maybe the fiftieth time. “We all here for you. Your mama coming down soon, and Taylor. Will be ok.” Geno’s on the floor of the room Sid has turned into a nursery putting together the changing table. Sid tried helping, but after the third time he handed Geno the wrong piece, Geno banished him to the rocking chair where Sid is currently rocking himself into a frenzy.
“But what if it’s not? I have no idea how to raise a kid, Geno! Sure it’s fun to play with them for a few hours. But then you give them back! What am I going to do if it gets sick? What am I going to do with it on road games?”
“Ugh, really wish you know if it’s boy or girl. Seems wrong to call the baby ‘it’ all the time.”
“I can’t, you know that. Knowing might jinx it.”
“Jinx how?”
“I don’t know but I feel like it will. So drop it, you’re not winning that one.”
“Most stubborn man ever I know. Ridiculous, Sid.”
“Fuck you, Geno, you’re not the one having a kid here. You don’t get a say.”
Geno tosses up his hands in exasperation. “Fine. Then you put together changing table. I’m done.” He gets up, but Sid reaches out to catch his hand as he walks by. He leans forward, eyes closed, and presses Geno’s hand to his forehead.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. The press conference is tomorrow and I’m freaking out.” Geno immediately kneels in front of him, draws him into a hug.
“Ok, Sid. Will be ok.” Sid clings to Geno, burying his face in his shoulder. Geno rubs his back in sure strokes, murmuring soothing Russian in his ear. They’ve been doing this lately—this physical comfort thing lately. Quick touches in the grocery store as they maneuver around each other, massages when things get tense either at games or from the pregnancy, one time they even held hands, right after Sid got the first clear ultrasound of the baby. It’s weird and confusing and Sid loves it. He thinks Geno loves it too. But just like finding out the sex of the baby, he feels like saying anything before Geno does will jinx it. He doesn’t know how, but it feels like he can barely even acknowledge it in his head since Geno hasn’t said anything yet.
Geno pulls away, gives a quick tug to Sid’s curls, and stands back up. His face is a little flushed.
“Should go anyway. Big day tomorrow. Sure you don’t want me to pick you up?”
“No,” Sid says, and stands too, his stomach only making him a little ungainly. “Jen’s going to come by. She wants to do a little more prep with me beforehand. You could come by early and ride with us, though?” He walks Geno to the front door, tries not to feel like he’s seeing out a date.
“Just meet you there, I think. Jen won’t like me to interrupt.” They pause in front of the door, staring at each other awkwardly. Finally Geno rolls his eyes at both of them and leans down to press a soft, lingering kiss to Sid’s cheek. He pulls back slowly, eyes too languid for such a simple kiss. He brushes a hand across Sid’s stomach. “Good night, baby.” Then he’s gone, leaving Sid bewildered and turned on.
~*~**~*~*~
The press conference is…fine. Only two people suggest Sid’s career is over and that he should never have been allowed to play in the league in the first place if this was a danger. Only one makes a snide comment about Brian ditching him. Jen shuts those reporters down pretty fast. Most people stick to questions like when will he be back, how does the team feel, does he have any names picked out, and Sid fields them easily. It’s almost anticlimactic.
Afterward, Sid meets with Potash for a one-on-one on-camera interview. Dan’s questions are easy, and he tells a few jokes to make Sid comfortable. He rehashes some of the questions Sid already fielded at the press conference, and then delves into more personal ones, echoing some of the nastier reporters, but in a kinder way.
“Sid, you’ve been handling this by yourself, is that right?”
“Yeah, it’s just me. I was not with, uh, the other father, for a while before I found out I was pregnant. We weren’t together very long. I think it’s worked out all right, though. And I’m not really by myself. My mom and dad have visited, and they’ll come again closer to my due date. My sister’s been down. Management’s been supportive, and of course the guys have been great. I’ve already gotten like 10 offers to babysit. I think they’re almost as excited as I am.”
“And who’s been there the most? Are any of them really stepping up?”
“Well, you know, all of them have helped out in different ways. Geno’s the one who’s around the most, though.”
“Geno, really?” Sid laughs at Dan’s surprise. It’s no secret Geno tends to avoid the more family-oriented things his teammates are involved in.
“Yeah, G’s been amazing. He’s driven me to doctors’ appointments, helped me set up the nursery, everything. I really don’t know what I’d do without him. He’s been my rock. I just—I couldn’t do this if he wasn’t there with me.” Sid’s eyes go wide and he slams his mouth shut. Was that too much? That felt like too much. Shit, and he can see Geno off to the side watching the interview. Eyes boring into Sid.
He gets through the rest of the questions and only his years of media training keep him from fidgeting and sneaking glances at Geno. oHow and When it’s over, Dan shakes his hand and congratulates him. He pulls out a gift bag from under his chair and hands it to Sid. Inside is a colorful toy microphone with buttons to make funny sounds.
“You know, for when the kid’s a little older. He can be a reporter in training.”
Touched, already a little emotional from the pregnancy hormones and the overwhelming morning, Sid starts to choke up. “Thanks, Dan. Really. This is great.” He shakes his hand again and makes a beeline for Geno before he really breaks down. Geno ushers him out to the car and they drive back to Sid’s place. They don’t talk about what Sid said to Dan. But Geno helps him out of the car and once again they find themselves at the front door, just looking at each other.
“Do you want to come inside?” Sid finally asks.
“Yes.” And Geno’s voice is too grave for the question. But Sid doesn’t ask about it and lets them in. They toe their shoes off and move to the couch.
“Sid,” Geno says, his voice still serious. “Sid, what you say to Dan. Is not true. You could do this without me. You so strong, I’m so impressed with how you handle this.”
“Maybe. Maybe I could’ve. But I’m really glad I don’t have to.”
“I’m glad you don’t have to either. I would do anything for you, Sid. Anything you need, just tell me. I’ll make it happen.” Geno takes both his hands, presses a kiss to the palm of each one. This—this is definitely crossing a line. Sid searches Geno’s face.
“Are you—is this because you feel sorry for me?”
“No, Sid. Is it because you think I won’t help you if you say no?”
“No.” And then they’re grinning at each other. Sid grips Geno’s hands, which are still holding his, and tugs him forward. Their first kiss is the sweetest kiss Sid’s ever had. Their second kiss, once they move to Sid’s bedroom, is the filthiest.
The next day, Geno’s late to practice and Johnston bag skates him. He sends Sid a text to complain. But ends it with, Was worth it. Do again tomorrow. So Sid doesn’t feel too bad.
~*~**~*~*~
Several weeks later, Sid’s in a hospital bed waiting to be taken in for his C-section. His mom, dad, and Taylor have been in to see him before he goes, but now it’s just him and Geno.
“You ready?” Geno asks while he strokes Sid’s hair and holds his hand.
“Yeah. I can’t wait.” Sid grins up at his boyfriend. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Geno grins too. “Wouldn’t be anywhere else. Can’t wait to meet our girl.”
“I think it’s a boy.”
“Thought it was a girl yesterday!”
“Today I think it’s a boy.”
“Today we know.”
“Today we know,” Sid agrees. His expression turns fond. “Whichever they are,” he says, “I know they’re gonna love you.”
“I’m gonna love them, too, Sid. So much. As much as I love you.”
“I love you too,” he says, leaning up for a kiss. “Papa.”
Boat... somehow I feel like there are going to be several sentences with this word in them
Ohohoho, getting CRAFTY now eh?
“Granted,”Sidney says, nodding in invitation for good measure, and shakes hishead as Geno climbs onto the deck. “I thought you were in Russia.”
“Was.” Geno shrugs, still smiling like Sidney's the greatest thing he'sever seen. He looks travel-worn, tired but not incapacitated by jetlag yet—Sidney'd guess he has another few hours left before thatfully hits. “Taylor email me, say you take your boat up here thisyear and I should visit.”
my friend @anon8771 has informed me I DO have replies. DESPITE the fact that it is hard (for me) to tell that I do. But @anon8771 is actually pretty cool and trustwothy? Also why’d y’all let me get so out of control on a Monday? it’s PROBABLY because my real life is INSANE right now. Though ya know...whatever.
I'm new to your blog, but I read the story in question and I loved it. In my opinion, if you tag something, it's not really your responsibility for how people respond to it. And you're so right about the double standard - I've written stuff with Taylor and Sid's parents and Geno's parents and never gotten any heat for it (I usually tag them as characters as well, like you did). I get not wanting to read fic with her as a character, but the rest is odd to me. Please keep writing.
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