#anonagons

[gay-otlc]

ive been wondering forever - what does the otlc in your url mean?

It stands for "of the lost cities," which is a reference to keeper of the lost cities which is a middle grade book about elves and the gay blorbos took over my brain and refused to leave. So my url is a reference to the series acronym (kotlc) except instead of kotlc it's gay-otlc. Because those motherfuckers are really gay.

[gay-otlc]

The fact that there's discourse about whether transhet people all just automatically benefit from straight privilege is wild to me.

Like...it's so obviously wrong. It doesn't even seem debatable. Even a second or two of thought should be enough to realize that transhet people are going to be discriminated against for all the same reasons as cis gays. It's just obvious!

Very frustrating. I'm sorry people are idiots.

Yeah it's just... not even remotely based in reality, but in theory because society favors heterosexuality over other sexualities for cis people, it must work exactly the same way for trans people! In practice, not so much, because transhets basically get discriminated against for the same reasons as cis gays plus transphobia. Even transhets who pass might get some conditional benefits, but they wouldn't have access to straight privilege in the same way cishets do (risk of being outed, legal/medical discrimination, discrimination from partners, not to mention trauma from experiencing homophobia before transitioning), and that's not even feasible for many trans people.

The way a lot of people view it, transhet people may be oppressed on the basis of being trans but they are privileged on the basis of being straight, in the same way someone might be oppressed for being trans but privileged for being white. But it doesn't work the same way, because while transness doesn't negate whiteness, it very often does negate straightness in the eyes of our oppressors! It's really frustrating that so many people value this black and white worldview of straightness = privileged 100% of the time (whether the straight person is trans or cis) more than they value real transhet people.

[gay-otlc]

It's weird being transhet I have a date next week with a girl and I get to choose whether I want to just not mention it at all to anyone, have everyone think I'm wlw, or come out a trans dude and it's so weird to see people say that my sexuality has not effect on my life or even makes me privileged

No frrrrr people already think I'm wlw but it doesn't always go over great when I say "actually I'm a straight guy"

[gay-otlc]

before your sexuality poll I felt like a total alien because of how my sexuality changed, so thanks for adding the same label different attraction option (for a while when I was a girl I was straight and now im a straight guy) and the attracted to no one and now attracted to someone option (I also spent a while being totally unattracted to anyone, maybe because the dysphoria made me feel like I wasn't a real person and I was so disconnected from myself that I couldn't feel anything for anyone)

I guess it took being myself and becoming who I wanted to be to find my real orientation :)

Anyway thank you for all your posts, im really impressed by your in-depth research. and thank you for being a nerd about trans data and statistics. Really valuable.

I feel like a lot of the trans people I know have experienced some sort of change in sexuality, in one way or another. I'm glad seeing all the different trans sexuality experiences helped you feel less alone :)

Fuck yeah I love being a trans data nerd

[gay-otlc]

wait what does the <2 as opposed to <3 mean? i think i’ve seen it a lot in posts about aro identities so i was wondering if it’s related to that or if it’s just a coincidence lol

Oh! Well, a lot of aros don't feel all that connected to the idea of the traditional <3 heart, since the way we express love (if at all) is often different. <2 is close to <3, but slightly different. So I use <2 to show affection, even if that affection is in a weird loveless aro way.

Also, it just looks cool.

You don't have to be aro to use it, but that's where it originated!

[gay-otlc]

Maybe this is a weird ask but I wanted to say that I really like and appreciate seeing your posts about being transhet specifically. I’m a straight trans guy and honestly it’s nice to see someone else speaking on the same experiences I’ve had, esp because being a straight dude is pretty alienating from the queer community lmao. So yeah, epic posting king

I don't think it's a weird ask at all! I've gotten a few like this, and it's really nice to see. It's good to know my transhet posting is appreciated by some people out there, and it helps to quiet the voice in my head that sometimes says I shouldn't post so much transhet stuff. Thanks :)

[gay-otlc]

i would also like to add: if someone hates one kind of trans people, they hate all of us, because they see us all as one same thing, and if they do see a difference betwen us, it's a difference that only serves to opress us in different ways. which is why trans hate directed at trans women can and does hurt trans men, and vice versa. TERFs absolutely hate transmascs and i hate it when ppl ignore that or say that it's "just collateral damage" as if that wasn't a problem??? and like, it's not just collateral damage, TERFs do a lot of shit specifically against transmascs. ugh i'm just so furstrated with the erasure of transmasc issues and them getting told they're just privileged and that they only benefit from transphobia like....that doesn't make sense

Yeah!!! We're all the weird gender freaks, none of us have it good.

[gay-otlc]

hi. im queer and trans. i care about your experiences as a straight trans man. i know sending an ask doesnt do much at all but i wanted to let you know there are people out there who will support you and see you as just as important as any other part of our community. your queerness is real! and you belong in our community! and i'm so sorry for the way this community has mistreated you

This is several weeks late but hi I really appreciate this