Sometimes, late at night after everyone I love has gone to sleep, I wonder why they love me. I think about all the times I failed, all the opportunities I've missed, and wonder why I, a loser stuck at his parent's place at this age, am allowed to live when so many beautiful people die every day. I feel selfish for having a life that so many would beg for and not being happy with it. I want to do something, anything, but I'm so depressed, I can barely move. I don't know how to get better.
Well, to be honest, there's not any easy advice I could offer you, as much as I want to. I wish there was, honestly. Depression sucks ass. Feeling like what you have described sucks ass. Not knowing how to get better sucks ass. You, of course, are probably very very aware of this.
But hey, in my sixteen (wow so old) years of experience, I've found that if you just refuse to fucking give up, you will get better somehow. Such is life, man. Such is life.